Before!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Goin to the chapel

We went to a wedding today.

It was a 4 hour drive there. You know how I like to eat in the car. I only ate my breakfast that I packed for the occasion.

After the wedding, the food and wine and beer were flowing. I skipped the appetizers. I skipped the wine and beer. Water with lemon for me please. I had a diet coke as a treat. Dinner was fabulous. All written down and accounted for. Didn't go over the points I allotted for myself. I had 3 bites of cake. It was scrumptious! Even better as I remained in control.

Trip home my treat was a diet red pop.

Damn what a fabulous day!!!

The big man didn't fare so well. We'll both be hitting the gym tomorrow.

This is us.


Saturday, May 30, 2009

Never say never!

That's what they say. Whoever the hell 'they' are.

Well screw 'them'.

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER! There ya go boys & girls, how do ya like me now????

I lost 4 pounds at my WI last Wednesday. I worked VERY hard and I was proud of my success.

I am able to squeeze my hiney into my size 16's again!

Oh yes, and the scale dipped below 200 again!

So, I hereby vow (yes I know tempting the fates but screw them too) the following.

I will NEVER go over 200 pounds again.

I will NEVER wear a size 18 jeans again.

Now, we've got a wedding to go to tomorrow. It's a 3.5 hour ride down the highway and I like to eat when I drive. I like to eat at weddings too. OK, not so much at the wedding, but afterwards, ya know? The scale DID dip below 200, but only by .2 pounds. Yepper, 199.8. So, that means I need to work hard this week to keep it under there. I need to plan my food, stay within my points, exercise, and basically be a good girl. I'm kinda more bad girl than good girl, so it ain't gonna be easy!

I have to work today. I do like the food where I work. I got my batootie out of bed this morning and went directly to the gym. I hit Bonnie hard. I feel great. My food is planned for today, and I plan to have some of the ravioli where I work. I like them, I can have them if I plan. 5 points for 4 ravioli Florentine isn't too bad at all....homemade marinara sauce too. Yum.

I will do it as I have made a promise to myself. I never break a promise.

As my very good friend Rosanna says, "So it is written, so it shall be done".

It is written.

*

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I'm throwing stones

Yep, I know all about people in glass houses.

You may call me Mother Superior if you wish. I so rocked that gym today.

I was pumping along on the elliptical after doing my arduous strength training session, when I realized I was practicing one of the 7 deadlies. Now I freely admit that gluttony is my favorite, and sloth is definitely way up there. I've been known to practice greed, lust, and wrath too. Envy, not so much. Today's sin of choice was pride.

We got to the gym at 11:45am. Den had a noon appointment with his trainer. I warmed up with 5 minutes on Bonnie (the elliptical). I'd made my work out card at home and I got right into it.

I do 3 sets of 12 reps of each thing.

Here was my routine today:
Leg extensions #40
Leg press #50 extra
Pyramid biceps curls- 12 reps of #8, 8 reps of #9, 6 reps of #10. Repeat 3 times.
Lat pull downs- #37.5
Shoulder press- #10
push ups X 50
Ab crunches with #30 X 60
Planks-2 sets of 60 seconds each

I felt amazing when finished. I am sure I will feel not so amazing tomorrow! I followed that up with 35 minutes on Bonnie at a higher resistance varied program. I kept my heart rate right around 150 the whole time.

Where does the pride come in? Well, Bonnie faces the road and the parking lot in front of a full length window. I sit there pumping away and between listening to my jams & watching Giada on the food channel, I watch what's going on outside. My gym is in a small strip mall. First business is Hungry Howie's Pizza, then comes the tanning place, then my gym. So, I watch people waddle into HH to get pizza and I think, wow, I'm so much better than them (hence the 'you may call me Mother Superior of earlier). I see people coming into the tanning place that ought to be moseying into the gym and I think, wow, I'm here, they're there, I'm better! I know I shouldn't think like that, but hey, I do. I feel so good that I've finally taken my health to a different level. Heck, to any level at all! I love when people glance in the window and see me sweating my ass off on that machine. I want to say 'YA! LOOK AT ME!!!' Ian calls me a poser. He is so right! I'm conceited, I know it. I feel so good about what I'm doing, so proud, I just want everyone to see! Lots of the 'kids' that we work with at the restaurant come to the gym. A few years ago, I'd have been so embarrassed to be seen by them. I'd have made darn sure I went at different times. Two of the boys came in today and I thought it was great. Look at what an old lady can do boys!!!!

So, am I proud? You bet your ass.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

How an oldie makes sugar free chocolate pudding

It's a different process than most of you go through I'm sure.

FYI. Every time you read pudding or jell-o here, realize it is all sugar free and fat free. Just so you know. Ya know?

Step 1: Go upstairs to make a cheese omelet for breakfast, see the milk, and immediately think 'ohhhhh chocolate pudding'.

Step 2: Make and eat omelet while thinking of chocolate pudding.

Step 3: Get the pudding/jello basket out of the pantry to retrieve pudding mix. See jell-o and think 'ohhhhhhhh FAF'! Get out strawberry jell-o and cheesecake instant pudding for FAF. Go to freezer and retrieve strawberries to try strawberry cheesecake FAF this time. Start to nuke strawberries to thaw a bit and realize you were supposed to be making pudding. Leave strawberries on the counter and get the pudding/jello basket back out of the pantry and get out the chocolate pudding. Realize you got out instant pudding and not cook and serve pudding. Retrieve basket again and get the correct pudding.

Step 4: Get skim milk from fridge and measure 2 cups into pan. Looks paltry, so decide you should really make a double batch. Get pudding/jell-o basket back out of the pantry. Empty 2 packets of chocolate pudding mix into the milk. Remember you now need to add 2 more cups of milk. Retrieve jug from fridge and measure 2 more cups. Only have 1.5 cups left in the jug. Go to fridge for back up jug. Isn't one. You forgot to get it. Go into daughter in law's fridge and steal 1/2 cup of her skim milk. (We live in a blended house here thank God!)

Step 5: Go to grab black, nylon whip to mix pudding in my non stick sauce pan. Isn't there. Go to living room floor and get it. (blended household contains a 15 month old that likes to play with Grammy's cooking utensils!)

Step 6: Decide you want to try to make chocolate peanut butter pudding using your PB2 powder.

Step 7: Go to pantry to try to find PB2 powder. Remember you are cooking pudding and rush back to the stove to stir so it won't burn. Find the PB2 and add 4 tablespoons to the mix and whisk until boiling.

Step 8: Pour into glass dish to chill and go get the plastic wrap to cover the top as you hate pudding skin.

Step 9: Remove industrial sized box of cling film that you've had since you owned a daycare for the 8 inches you need to cover the surface of the pudding.

Step 10: Put pudding into the oven to cool and go sit down to rest.

Step 11: Realize the oven doesn't cool and you should really put it in the fridge. Quickly go do that before anyone notices.

Step 12: Sit down with the newspaper and the grapes you found in the fridge when you put the pudding in. Can't remember where your glasses are to read. Eat the grapes and remember you now have strawberries, strawberry jello, and cheesecake pudding on the counter to make FAF.

No rest for the oldie!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Hangin in there

Just thought I'd let you all know I'm alive!

I made it through 2 very long days at work. I survived. I didn't break anything, I didn't forget anything from last year. I walked a million miles and things hurt, but I'm ready to go back tomorrow!

Most of all, I didn't let them feed me!

My plan for tomorrow is to get up at 6am and be at the gym by 6:30am. I'm only doing my elliptical tomorrow, 35 minutes, so I could be back home all showered and in my robe having coffee by 7:30. I don't work until noon so that would give me lots of chill time.

In that chill time I'll plan my food for the day.

I'll go to work and eat what I planned and nothing else. I can't allow myself to sway at work. It's a slippery slope there. I'll need to use my flexies somewhere other than work. I can't control myself there.

I'll come home and eat the dinner I've already made.

I'll repeat it all on Tuesday!

So far, Day 4 finds me in total control.

Bring on day 5. I'm ready.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

FAF

Freaking Awesome Fluff

It's a recipe I tweaked a bit so I figured I get to re-name it. It originally had cool whip in it. Cool whip has hydrogenated oil in it. I'm trying to totally cut hydrogenated oils from my diet. So I went into tweak mode. I love it as it's got protein in it but tastes like a dessert. I made it so each serving has a whole serving of fruit in it. Fat free cottage cheese contains 13g of protein for 1/2 cup so that's a great amount in a snack. It's creamy and sweet and just yummy to me.

It's 4 simple ingredients.

2 cups fat free cottage cheese
1 box of sugar free jell-o
1 box of fat free, sugar free instant pudding
4 servings of fruit (usually 2 cups)
juice from the fruit if it's canned. diet pop if it's not.

That's it.

Mix everything together and I divide it into 4 servings and refrigerate. Points are 2-3 per serving depending on the fruit you use. It' a nice sized serving too!

The combinations are endless. Depends on what fruit you like etc.

My favorite is:
2C fat free cottage cheese
2 C mandarin oranges (I use the ones canned in water with Splenda)
orange SF Jell-O
cheesecake or lemon instant SF, FF pudding

Den's favorite is:
2 C FF cottage cheese
2 cups pineapple (he likes crushed)
lime SF Jell-O
pistachio instant pudding, SF and FF of course

With both of those, I use the juice from the cans. I used fresh peaches once...needed to use diet orange pop for a bit of liquid.

I wonder if strawberries, strawberry jello, and vanilla pudding would be good? Hmmmm might need to try that. I'd want to sweeten the strawberries first for sure. That would make a huge serving if you used the whole serving of strawberries!

There you have it.

FAF

enjoy!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Amazing Day!

That would be today.

I just got out of work an hour ago. It was my first day back as you all know. I worked 9.5 hours. On my feet. Walked about 5 miles. Knees hurt, calves hurt, thighs hurt, ankles hurt...getting the drift? Even my back hurts. Oh yes, my biceps hurt too. I came home, took 2 Aleve and ate my dinner at 10PM. My daughter in law (bless her!) gave me a Mike's hard lemonaid. It was awesome, took the edge off and it was light and only 2 points! Oh ya I needed that!

Why was it an amazing day?

Well, At 9:45am I went to the gym and did my time on the elliptical even knowing I'd be on my feet all day. Came home ate a healthy lunch, showered, fixed my dinner for when I got home tonight, dressed for work at noon, and packed my healthy lunch. Off I went to work at 11:45.

I didn't get a break until 7PM. I wasn't very hungry, and I only get a 20 minute break. I wanted pudding. I ate what I brought, my FAF. No pudding, no cheesecake, no blue cheese dressing (which has 20 grams of fat in 2T by the way!), no fried zucchini, no nothing I wasn't supposed to indulge in. Go me!

I came home at 10pm and had my dinner that I prepared earlier.

I have half a point left for tonight...oh the choices are endless!!! lol

I work again tomorrow. I shall skip the gym before work as on the long days it's just too much on my old body.

I'll do everything else tomorrow as I did today as it worked.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

I'm so proud of myself today. All that good food and I didn't touch it.

I was tired, sore, and stressed.

I was also empowered, on program, and just really rocking my plan!

Go me!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Day one

Well, FINALLY, enough was enough.

I gained 3.2 at last night's meeting. I know you're smart people, so go ahead and add that to the 12 pounds I gained last week. Holy shit, can you even imagine gaining 12 pounds in a week? Just in case you suck at math, I'll tell you. I gained 15.2 pounds. Anything you can do I can do better! Laughing maniacally here.

I got my poop in a group last night and planned my food for today. I also planned that today, I'd prepare my food for tomorrow as I go back to work tomorrow.

That's right boys and girls, tomorrow I go back to work at Buccilli's. For those of you that don't know, it's our local Italian restaurant. It's good. It's real good. We have homemade meatballs, chocolate pudding, cheesecake, homemade meat sauce, pizza's to die for, chocolate pudding, Stromboli's, cheesecake, garlic bread drenched in butter, fried zucchini, cheesecake, chocolate pudding, blue cheese dressing by the tub, fried portabello mushrooms, cheesecake, blue cheese dressing by the tub, scrumptious meat raviolis, cheesecake, sandwiches that are heavenly (oh yes please bury me with the club sub with extra mayo surrounded by Ruffles potato chips and flanked by a crispy dill spear), and oh ya we have salad too.

I worked there last summer. They fed me. They fed me 26 pounds worth. I'm wearing a sign that says 'don't feed me' this year! I swear I am! I make the salads. Maybe I should eat them? It's going to be very difficult. I'll be taking my own food with me this year, but it's not going to be easy! I can do it though. I can do anything I set my mind to and I'm setting my mind to this.

So, after 3 weeks of frenzied eating and inactivity, today it ended.

I got my gelatinous ass out of bed before 7am, ate a yogurt with 1/8 cup of grapenuts and headed off to the gym. I hopped on the elliptical to warm up for 5 minutes and then I put myself through a very rigorous strength training session. I missed my trainer for sure....it's easier to do wall squats when someone is telling you "you're doing good, just keep holding it, 5 more seconds". Wall squats are the devil. I did them though. You'd think pressing your back against the wall and squatting would be easy. Try it for 60 seconds sometime. It's NOT easy! I alternated them with leg presses (#40), 3 sets of each. I then went to the biceps curls alternated with the chest presses (#8 weights only today)also 3 sets of 12 reps each. I then did butt leg lift thingies...can't remember what they're called but they kind of hurt like hell! Lay down on your back with your arms out straight next to a bench. Put one foot on the bench and the other foot straight up in the air and then lift your ass off the floor as high as you can. Repeat 20 times. Change feet and repeat 20 more times. Do 3 sets of these. Follow with 6 sets of ab machine crunches. For my treat when I finished that, I did my 35 minutes on the elliptical for my cardio. I rocked it today.

I made a 30 day promise to myself in January and that is what got me on my 4 month streak. I'm not ready for that again yet. For now, I vow to be OP for 7 days. I vow to exercise 6 days this week.

One week at a time for now.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The wagon, the horse, and the WW plan

What are 3 things you fall off of?

Ding! Ding! Ding! That's right ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner!!!!

I didn't fall off a little Radio Flyer, or a Shetland pony. I fell off the Trojan horse and the biggest Conestoga you ever saw! I fell so far I need a ladder to get back up.

Three weeks tomorrow in fact. Oh, I had plans of getting back OP last Thursday. Oops. Screwed that up! I planned to get back OP on Friday. Damn, F'd that up too. Saturday was a go for about 10 minutes. Today never had a chance.

So, I'm building rungs on my ladder tonight for tomorrow.

I've planned my food for the day.

I've got a gym date at 12:30.

I've got yard work and house work and work work to keep my mind off food.

I NEED to get one day under my belt so I can begin on day 2.

I NEED to stop the madness.

I have to work at the restaurant this Friday & Saturday. My work pants are so tight I can barely breathe and my work T-shirt clings to all my rolls. Thank God I wear an apron. Doesn't hide my fat ass though!

OK friends...I've got my feet on the bottom rung of the ladder tonight. How about you all get behind and push! Keep me from falling just one day and I think I can take it from there.

Be careful where you shove though...I've got a Fiber One bar planned!!!!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Pixie is in pain

Your actions become your habits. Don't let yourself make a pattern of slip ups or they'll become habits!

I get a daily email from Denise Austin. This was her little quote of the day. I usually find them twee and kind of gag me. I read this and then started to click delete on the email....then I thought about what I read.

How often do we tell ourselves we can't eat at a Mexican restaurant without having the chips. We can't go to a party without eating everything in sight. We can't enjoy a special occasion without cake or treats?

I wonder if we started skipping the chips, monitoring our food, and nixing the cake and treats if it would become habit?

I know that my 4 months of solid eating OP and exercising 6 days a week became total habit. Right up until I started planning to come home. I can't possibly go on a 1400 mile road trip and stay OP. Habit. How dumb was that? I gained 12 pounds as you know because of that. What's worse? I am not OP now either.

I ate a healthy breakfast Thursday (my first day back OP after my 16 day binge) as planned. I went and joined the gym as planned. I didn't do a full work out. I came home and that was all she wrote.

For the first time in my life I think I actually feel guilty for what I've eaten. I know that a lot of you feel guilt about eating bad food on a regular basis. I never have. I've always enjoyed what I've eaten and I never minded the weight gain associated with it. It was worth it.

It's not worth it anymore. I want to be OP again. I want to be exercising again. What's my problem? I want someone to do it for me. I want someone to do the planning, the shopping, the preparing. Put my food in front of me. I just want to concentrate on getting to the gym and doing my thing there.

As long as I'm having a whine party (I drank all the wine already so it's not that kind of party!), I want to share that I've hurt the hell out of myself. A few months ago at the gym you may remember my trainer had me doing jumping jacks and jumping rope. I felt a pop and seems I hurt my achilles tendon. Every time I walk now, it hurts like hell. I don't mean power walking either. Just anytime I walk over 10 minutes or so. Well, I went shopping today. It hurt like hell. I felt like an old lady limping around. No comments there...I will kick the shit out of you with my good leg. I came home and while I was walking down to the basement I felt another pop and it hurt so bad I saw stars. I don't know if I should be resting it, stretching it, icing it, heating it or what. I've got an appointment with my doc but it's not for a few weeks yet.

Now I'm worried about going back to work. I work on my feet in a restaurant. I wore a pedometer at work a few days last year and clocked well over the 10,000 required steps just making the salads and tending the salad bar. I need to work. We need the bucks. I'm scared.

I'm worried I can't get myself back OP tomorrow. I don't want the binge to continue. I don't want to make the effort to do what's involved with being OP either though.

I'm worried I can't go to the gym tomorrow. I've already joined and paid my money. Don't want to be losing out! Can't afford to have paid and not go!

So, there you have it. Your normally upbeat, happy, Pixie is out of magic fairy dust tonight.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Suck it up Buttercup

I'm good at telling others that...so thought I'd use it on myself tonight. I've poured a huge glass of wine and am contemplating.

The big weigh in was tonight. I do mean the BIG weigh in!

I gained 12 pounds. Yes, that's right, 12 pounds exactly. I weighed in last on April 27. So, that means in 16 days I managed to pack on 12 pounds of fat. Holy shit Batman that's impressive!

No, it's not water weight.

It's cheesecake (4 of them if you please!) , brownies (triple chunk), homemade bread with lots of real butter, guacamole & chips, cheesycrunchygreasy Mexican food (several times). It's big, fat, juicy burgers smothered in cheese and wrapped in bacon with lots of mayo. It's potato chips. A lot of them. It's pudding and chocolate milk. It's Olive Garden's chicken gnocchi soup and lots of bread sticks and wine. It's boneless almond chicken with fried rice and egg drop soup. It's broasted chicken and pancakes and biscuits and gravy. It's tons of egg salad on squishy white bread. It's Kogel's bologna on squishy white bread with lots of Hellman's mayo. It's Flint style coney's...lots of them. It's beef stroganoff and sinful homemade mac and cheese. It's a double batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and a double batch of chocolate chip cookies. It's fried mushrooms (Hey a veg!!!), DQ blizzards, hot fudge sundaes, Spanish tapas, & orange chicken and fried rice and egg drop soup (Hey, I missed our Chinese restaurant here in MI while in FL!). It's fatty BBQ ribs and mashed potatoes with onions sauteed in butter and cream cheese and more butter in them. It was all that and more.

It was 16 days of NO exercise whatsoever.

It was 16 days of NO veg. NO milks. NO whole grains. NO fruits. NO healthy oils. NO water.

What am I contemplating?

After eating all that. How the hell did I ONLY gain 12 pounds???

The shopping is done.

The fridge is stuffed with apples, grapes, and bananas. There are cucumbers, baby lettuce mix, carrots, celery & onions. There's a chicken to roast and wild rice to cook. There are whole wheat sandwich thins, sugar free jam & natural peanut butter. There is skim milk and egg substitute. There's a butternut squash for making soup. There's a broccoflower, whatever the hell that is. There is Weight Watcher yogurt and high protein Special K cereal. There is Greek yogurt and organic red grape raisins. There's fat free cottage cheese and sugar free jell-o.

We join the gym tomorrow morning. The elliptical awaits me. I'm dreading the triceps dips and the bicep curls and the push ups and pull ups and whatever else I do. It's going to hurt like hell after 16 days off.

You play, you pay. Simple as that.

I'll be paying big time.

Damn it was fun while it lasted though!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tomorrow is WI night

Or 'D' day...call it what you will. It's the night I'll have to pull up my big girl panties and get my fat ass on that scale.

It won't be pretty. I guess I'll have to be OK with that as I did make the choice to eat anything that didn't move over the last 2 weeks(and perhaps a few things that did!). I also made the choice to not exercise. Ya, so I'm not so good at making choices. What can I say?

I had a lovely WI of down 3. something or other pounds in FL on Monday, April 27. We went to Outback after that and the binge began. I knew I wasn't going to weigh in on May 4 as we were leaving FL bright and early that day. I knew I was going to start going to meetings the week after we got home and I chose Wednesday. So, that meant that of course, I got to eat whatever I wanted until May 13. I'm sure you all follow that logic right???

It's too hard to exercise when you're traveling right? So, I didn't do that either.

Have I enjoyed my 2 weeks? Hell yes. Am I ready to get back OP? Hell no. I love to eat. I love rich, buttery, cheesy, salty, gooey stuff. If it's got butter, mayo, avocado, cream, insert any high calorie, rich food item here, I like it. I like a lot of it.

Coming back home is very stressful for me. I was shocked to learn that as I've ALWAYS thought I had no stress in my life. I've never suffered from stress. I'm sure I had it, but I just dealt with it. Wow, I'm stressed out to the max. Guess I might be normal after all!

Why stress? Well, in FL I am trailer trash. We live in a tiny little park model. House cleaning takes 5 minutes. I have cards to go to every afternoon and evening if I want. I have Mah Jongg to look forward to a minimum of twice a week. I have 2 lovely pools that I go to daily to float about and chat with friends. I have my golf cart that I love to go for rides on daily to look at the wildlife and fauna. I have a personal trainer that walks me around the gym by the hand and tells me exactly what do do, how many times to do it, and most importantly HOW to do it. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances to chat with. I do what I want when I want. Life is good and easy.

Packing up to leave FL is a PITA. It's a lot of work and of course, since I don't want to come home, it's probably worse in my mind than it really is.

Coming back to MI requires unloading, unpacking, and trying to settle in again. The one good thing about coming home is our son and his family share our house with us. I get to see my grandson every day. I love my daughter in law...(good thing eh???)and it's such a blessing to be able to see her and my son each and every day. We're bad for each other though. She can really cook. My son is a chef. I like to cook and bake. God have mercy on our souls!

I think perhaps I'm a stress cooker. Yesterday I made 2 cheesecakes, triple chunk brownies, homemade bread rolls (they're fantastic, I'm eating one now), BBQ ribs and sinful mashed taters with butter sauteed onions and cream cheese and butter in them. I'm sure there was more, that's just all I can remember right now! Now all that food is here, so we must eat it! We must eat it all before Thursday morning. Oh the pressure!

So, why stress in MI? Well, we work here. We both work at our local Italian restaurant. I'm really very lazy and I don't want to work. Sucks being po folk! I worked last year because I wanted to and it was fun. This year, we be broke. We HAVE to work just to get along. Don't like that at all!!!! I gained 26 pounds last summer working there!!! If you ever get to Houghton Lake, I highly recommend Buccilli's. I love the meat ravioli with meat sauce. It's homemade. Den makes the sauce. I make the salads there. I just don't eat them. That has to change this summer. No more garlic bread. Oh God it's sooooo good. So buttery and wonderful.

I have no games to play here. Nobody to play cards with. Nobody to play Mah Jongg with. Nobody at all. My friends here all work so I don't get to see them. They're busy. I get lonely here in MI. I miss the camaraderie of everyone back in FL.

I have no personal trainer here. I hope I can remember how to do the stuff I need to do and how to do it. I'm scared.

It's hard going from being 2 in a tin box to being 5 in a HUGE house. Did I mention my house here has 6 freaking bedrooms and an attached apartment? My kitchen here is bigger than my living room and kitchen together in FL. My laundry room here is bigger than our 2 bedrooms together in FL. I've got a HUGE yard and several gardens that I'm in charge of here. We don't have yard care in FL. We have no cares in FL!

The kids have had this place to themselves for 7 months. I don't want to get in their way. I want them to have as much privacy as possible. It's hard enough to have a teething baby in the house, never mind having 2 parents there too! I try really hard to not interfere, but it's hard! I'm a mom....when Mason heads for something he shouldn't, out of habit, I'll say 'no no'! It's not my place. I don't want to upset them by correcting the baby. It's just habit and God knows, habits are hard to break! For me anyway. He's such a cute little shit too. He'll do something really bad and it's hard not to laugh. Oh good one Grammy...encourage the bad behavior!

Well, I've definitely rambled here. Sorry about that!

Today, cheesecake, bread, brownies, mashed taters, a bottle of wine & searching for really big, big girl panties.

Tomorrow night WI and copious amounts of alchohol to soothe the pain afterwards.

Thursday morning, back OP.
Thursday sometime, going to the gym.
Getting my poop in a group again.

Wish me luck? Maybe email me some stress drug? Pray for me?

Aw hell, it'll be OK.

I can do it. I can do anything.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Oh my!

As I've mentioned, we're back in MI right now. Are we unpacked? nope. Are we settled? Nope! Everywhere I look there are things that still need to be unpacked and put away. I hate moving! That's what going back and forth to FL is like as you take a lot more than clothes. Anyway.....that's not pertinent to this blog. Just a bit of insight to my psyche at the moment.

I've chosen Wednesday as my meeting day. I'll go to Mt. Pleasant next Wednesday and hop on the scale and begin to pay the piper for my eating frenzy of the last two weeks!

Den and I checked out the two gyms in the area yesterday. One would be $75 cheaper for the months we're here than the other, but, there's always a but you know! The cheaper gym has limited hours. They're closed on Sunday. Saturday they're only open until 3PM. They don't open until 6am and they close at 8pm nightly. The other gym is nicer, newer, has more stuff, AND is 24/7. We chose to join the second gym. We'll join that next Thursday. Can't afford it, but can't afford not to have the facilities either. We don't know our work schedule yet. In fact, when we do begin working, we only know the schedule 1 week in advance anyway. Lots of days I work past 8pm and I'll want to go to the gym after work some days. I do want to take one day off the gym each week, but I don't want to be forced to make that one day off be Sunday. Didn't want to spend the extra money, but it was what we had to do.

So, I'm making the commitment now to be back OP next Thursday.

Pray for me.

I'm going to need it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Checking in

I'm alive! Thought you'd want to know that.

We just got back to MI. Life is hectic to say the least. I will be getting back OP next week as soon as a I choose a meeting day. I'm leaning towards Wednesday, but it is still up in the air.

Den and I checked out gyms today and chose one. We can't afford it, but we can't afford not to go. Easy decision there!

Just wanted everyone to know I've not fallen off the face of the earth or forgotten what Weight Watchers is.