Taking a pound of flesh

I'm a huge Shakespeare fan. The Bard and I go way back. He, farther than me of course. Today I'm not talking about old Willie.

People ask what your 'aha' moment was. What was the straw that broke the camels back? I've been trying to think lately, ya shut it. I can't honestly remember any one 'aha' moment. I don't know what made me decide at 368 pounds that enough was enough. Why not 369...I mean that has rhyme, ya know? I really don't know.

I do know what told me this time that it's time to put an end to my uncontrolled eating. Let me set the proverbial stage for you.

Most of you know I live 8 months in FL in a small park model trailer. Small being the key word here. There are 3 of us. The actual park model is 384 square feet. That's where we spend most of our time. We have a porch attached that adds a whopping 320 square feet to the house. On that 'porch' is our only table. There's not room for a table in the main part of the unit. Our washer and dryer are also out there. A sofa, a small chest freezer, and 2 free standing, wooden pantry units complete the inventory. Well, of what you can see that is. There are a set of glass sliding doors separating the front of the porch from the back. That back part is our bedroom. If we're talking square feet, we're talking maybe 100. I'd say that room is 10X10. We have a HUGE king size bed. Not a lot of room for maneuvering you say? You are right. The set up is thus. The door opens into the bedroom from the main part of the house. It used to be an outside door of course, so you open it and go down 2 large cement steps. Gotta love those steps in the morning when things are stiff! MY things. Knees, ankles, shoulders...get your mind out of the gutter for goodness sakes! Anyway, directly to your left is Den's night stand, the bed, my night stand. Directly in front of you, at the end of the bed is a dresser. To the right, are free standing clothes rods for our hanging clothes. Posh eh?

So....the bed against one wall takes up about 7 of the 10 feet....the dresser that is at the foot of the bed takes up over 2 more of the 10 feet. That leaves less than a foot to get through to my side of the bed. The dresser has sharp corners I found out the other night. I have to shinny past that every time I go to my side of the bed. The other night I turned sideways (as I do) to ninja past the dresser. My ass didn't make it. This is one of the places where my eating binge apparently has been manifesting itself. I threw myself sideways, but apparently all the fat in my ass didn't quite make the turn as it caught on the edge of the dresser and carved a good 6 inch gash into my flesh. Oh yes, it's still there. I'm sure this isn't what Shylock had in mind!

The aha wasn't that my clothes don't fit anymore and I had to go buy new ones. The aha wasn't that my knees are killing me from the extra weight. The aha wasn't that my face has gotten so fat I can see my nose and cheeks while looking straight ahead. The aha was when I tried to fillet my hiney on the edge of a dresser that I've been going past for 3 years now.

Don't even get me started on what the extra weight is doing to my 'I've had 3 kids so my bladder doesn't always work like it should' problem. Oh that is lovely to have to pee in the night and try to jiggle past the dresser sideways then go up 2 steps and across the hall to get to the bathroom in time. Yes indeed.

So, Shylock, screw Antonio. If you want your pound of flesh...come take mine.

Hell, take 25 of them!

Bring on the veggies!

:-)