Listing to one side

I'm a list maker.

Yep, I'm one of those people that loves lists. I'll start out with a long list of tasks, and cross them off one by one when completed. If I do something that isn't on the list, I'll add it to the list so I can cross it off. Ya, I know, but honestly, that's the least of my psychotic foibles!!! The left shoe must always go on first...OK, not going to start down THAT list right now!

I get daily emails from some weight loss gurus. Denise Austin is one. She can be irritating to watch with that smile and bubbly personality....but you have to admit, she's got a bod on her AND she's not a teenager either. Today she talked about small steps and lists. Actually, the topic was 'Rethink your habits one step at a time'. Yes, we've all heard that shit before. Have you ever done it? I really never have I don't think. I've never made a list of everything about my health I want to change. I haven't rethunk my habits.

You see, right now I'm a bit overwhelmed. Everything is wrong again. I don't mean I just started eating sweets...I mean I quit everything. So, the thought of 'getting back on the wagon', just about brings me to my knees. Kind of like I'm not too sure where to begin. I get up in the morning and think OK, let's start. Then I think....where the hell DO I start?????

I'm a big fan of movies. Love my musicals....so....

Let's start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start. (c'mon sing with me!) When you read you begin with A-B-C......

I'm going to make a list (ohhhh a spreadsheet! I love spreadsheets almost as much as lists! Ya, I know, I'm an F'd up girl!) and start crossing things off one by one. They say that if you do something for 3 weeks, it becomes a habit. Now, I'm not going to take 3 weeks on each thing....but if I do one thing today, that's one more thing than I did yesterday. Tomorrow, if I do that one thing again, maybe I'll try a second thing....always keeping up with the first thing.

Kind of like keeping those plates twirling on the pole. When one falls, it seems they all tumble down...I need to learn that when one plate falls, it doesn't mean I need to sit in the shards. It means I need to whip another plate on that pole and keep twirling.

If one day I don't do one thing, that's no reason not to do all the rest. Capish?

OK, so here's my list, in no particular order mind you. Do you have a list? Have you ever made a list? I highly recommend it.

1. Drink some freaking water. I drink NONE right now. I want to drink 8 cups a day. Holy shit that's a half gallon. OK, breathe. I can do this. One cup at a time. One day at a time.

2. Eat some damn fruit and veg. I'd like to eat a minimum of 2 fruits and 4 veg a day. Right now? Ya, that's right, I eat none. Unless it's fried. I like fried.

3. Quit eating the freaking fried shit. Period.

4. Eat whole grain only. No white rice. No white bread. No pasta that isn't whole grain. Not so hard with all the options today.

5. Cut out the cow. Not totally, just learn to incorporate the fish and the chicken. I eat 0 fish. Zip, nada, zilch. Pretty much same with chicken. If I eat meat, I go bovine. Stop that shit!

6a. Quit the mindless eating. I eat dinner, an hour later I'm hungry again. Bullshit. No way I can be truly hungry and hour after I ate. It's in my head.

6b. If I eat my 3 meals and a snack or two, and those meals and snacks are healthy and substantial, that should do me. I can't eat a slice of toast and a tomato for lunch and expect it to sustain me. C'mon girlfriend...get a clue! Food groups beotch...learn them. Use them.

7. Quit giving in to the sweet craving. I have NO F'ing idea where this came from. I've never been a sweet eater. I like my salt. Now, I actually get cravings for sweets that are like an addicts cravings for drugs. I want it and I want it now! I get all jittery inside thinking about it. Will one satisfy? Hell no. I make a pan of brownies and I chip away at them until I eat the whole frigging pan. Oh don't doubt me here. It's true.

8. Butter is not my friend.

9. Move my fat ass. In a mindful manner. The days I work, I work. My job is physical. On my feet. I walk about 3-5 miles during the course of my shift. I lift, I move. I work 2 days a week. The other 5 I sit on my fat ass and do nothing exercise wise. So, those days "I want to move it move it" (told you I loved my movies!).

10. Dairy. Embrace the lactose. I like it. Do I drink it? Nope. Do I eat my yogurt? Nope. Why the hell not??? Who the hell knows!!!! Goal? Three a day.


I think 10 is a good place to start.

So, which one am I going to choose for today? Hmmmm I dunno yet. The choice is mine to be made and it will be made. I'll let you know tomorrow.

ADDENDUM: OMG ppl...really? This post wasn't up 5 minutes before I got an email from someone telling me I was a lazy bitch and this was a cop out. More exucses to not get started. You have got to freaking be kidding me! Is this not a journey? Is this supposed to be some miraculous instant change? I think not! I'm glad that 'you' (insert email person here) have your poop in a group...I don't. I bet other people out there don't either. Some of us are still trying to figure it out. Cut us some fucking slack!

OK, NOW I'm done!

:-)