Thinking thoughts

Goals. Mantras. Mindset. Sex.

Oh OK, so that last one isn't supposed to be in there....what's a Pixie to do?

I realized yesterday I don't have a goal anymore. I said I was going to think about it yesterday, but oops. That didn't happen. I'm doing it now. Right here in front of you. Yep, I'm thinking on the fly as I type!

I had goals before. I reached them all. I think for me, it has to be in the semantics. One of my goals was to get under 200. I did. It lasted one week. In fact, I did it twice. Once back in the 90's and again this summer. Sometimes I'm so thick.

My goals have changed. My goal before was to reach my 'goal weight'. WW says that's about 140ish. If I stand real tall and wear big hair, it could be 150. I'm 5'4&1/2. 5'5 lets me be OK at 150...so of course, 150 is what I chose. Not so much anymore. I don't desire to weigh 150. Maybe that's why I'm having so much trouble right now. I know I don't care about 150...so what do I want?

If I don't have a goal to shoot for, all my effort is just that. Effort.

I'm goal orientated. I strive to reach a goal and am willing to work hard to get there. To do something without a goal is just doing it. It's trudgery(I'm submitting it to Webster as we speak) and just plain hard work for no reward at the end.

It's a glorified list and you all know I'm the queen of list making!!!!

I also know for a fact I need mini goals. One huge race to the finish isn't Pixies game. I get bored in the middle and want to lay down and take a nap instead of sprint to the finish.

I also know I need an end goal. I learned that the hard way. That's going to be the sticky part as like I said, I'm not interested in reaching 150 anymore I don't think. I just want to be comfortable in my skin. I want to be healthy. I want to be kinda fit.

I've come a long way. My goals have become fuzzy...hell they've disappeared. My journey is now a trod. Who wants to trod when you can run? Not me.

So, without further ado. My goals.

Short term goals:

1. Get under 200 pounds AND STAY THERE FOR FRICK SAKE!
a. There, it's now written Rosanna. It shall be done.
b. My goal is to keep this body under 200 pounds all of 2010. What a concept!
c. Crap that means I need to GET under 200 before 2010!!!
2. Exercise 3 days a week for 30 minutes each.
a. Gotta start somewhere.

That's it. Bet you thought there would be more. Bet you thought they'd be earth shaking and news worthy. Nope, short, sweet, do-able and sustainable is what I was shooting for here!

Yo-yo dieting isn't good for the bod. So, let's get this gelatinous heap under 200 and keep it there. We can go further after that. Need to reach one goal before I can start the next!

Long term goals:

1. Weigh 168 pounds AND STAY THERE.
a. No longer obese. 'Just' overweight.
b. That will be my 200 pounds off. Nice round number.
2. Exercise 5 days a week for 40-60 minutes each.
a. Should be sustainable.

I think this is going to do it for now. I can't overwhelm myself. I'm too old for that shit. I just want to be comfortable. My biggest change with these goals and all the ones I've made in the past is with the addition of the words 'AND STAY THERE'! That would be a true goal...get there and stay there. When I reach these goals and they become sustainable, I can re-evaluate then. It ain't over til it's over!

My Mantra has just popped into my head.

Do what it takes.

My mantra will play out like this:
Debby wants chocolate. Debby will immediately say mantra to herself. 'Do what it takes'. Debby still wants chocolate. Debby will now say mantra out loud. 'Do what it takes'. Debby still wants chocolate. Debby now will be firm and say out loud, 'Do what it takes. Is this what it takes? I thought not. Step away from the frickin chocolate and get a hold of yourself you spineless bitch'. Ya, I can get tough with myself like that!!! Sometimes it works and sometimes I get pissed off and eat despite myself. Go figure!

Do what it takes.

:-)