Re-capping 2009

It's been a helluva year.

I've approached my diet and exercise routine this year with the vicissitude of a child with ADHD and no ritalin. I've gone from gung ho on program, to 'get out of my way or I'll nibble you' off. Think the Pixie needs a little balance in her life?

January 3, 2009 started my 4 month stretch of exercising daily and being 100% on program. 4 whole months people!!! WTF happened in April? I dunno, I really don't. I lost 25.6 pounds in those 4 months. Why didn't I just maintain there? Why did I find it necessary to go so berserk and gain it all back? Again, dunno. It wasn't a conscious decision for sure. April/May showed me gaining over 15 pounds back. Freakin moron. I got my mojo back in June, and July 8 showed me right back to my 25.6 pounds off again. So, again, why didn't I just try to maintain that. Hold on to the ground I'd won at least? August 19 found me just 1 pound more than that. Why didn't I stay there? From August to now, my weight loss/gain looks quite the opposite of our stock market of recent. A little bit down, and a whole hell of a lot of up.

So, without further ado, the 2009 grand total? Thank God it's a loss. 4.5 pounds. Yep, that's right. 365 days of hard work and mental anguish for 4.5 pounds. How do I feel? Thankful it wasn't a gain. In 2008, I gained 26.4 pounds. I did not like that at all! I'm also sad that it's 'only' 4.5 pounds. I worked hard for what I lost. Really hard. Why did it give up ground? I don't know. I do know that's got to change.

Resolutions? Yep, I believe in them. I believe in making promises to myself. What happens if I don't achieve them? I know I at least tried. I had a goal, something to shoot for. I promised myself that in 2009 I would weigh less than I did in 2008. I did that. Just barely, but I did it. So, what does that do to me? It makes me want more out of 2010. I will be working on a list of what I want out of 2010 in the next few days. You'll be the first to know when it's finished!

I know I need to do something different. I just don't know what that is right now. I had to give up my Weight Watcher membership. I'm scared. I know it can be done. I know I can't do it alone. I've always had you guys in the past and I sure hope I have you in the future.

I get so much motivation out of reading your blogs. Even if I don't comment, I got something from it. I promise! The following comments are only on the weight loss/exercise blogs I read. So, if you're on of the 'regular' bloggers I read, don't get your panties in a bunch because you're not mentioned here. I love you too!

I went to bed last night with heartache for the one who 'had her heart broken'. I am so worried about the one that might have MS. I'm praying for both. There's the one that tried to get a new job this year and was thwarted. One had her husband lose his job, and two that have so much pain for someone so young. One that is struggling with her self image while attending University. My own daughter in law...trying to do it all. There's a crazy woman with a crooked face that I love and a sex starved financial guy that makes me laugh. There's a used to be fatter dude that makes me laugh and think all at the same time...sometimes cry. There are a few who have reached goal and are maintaining. There's one that has a name that bothers me every time I see it....have a problem calling someone so beautiful inside and out 'ugly'! There's one that just reached the 100 mark! wow!!! (She wants to buy a mini food processor...may I suggest the 'Magic Bullet'? It's freaking awesome!) One has the quote on her site 'Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork'. Love that! One shows food porn pics with her new camera...makes me drool! One I can't get to anymore...invited readers only! Pah! One I saw on TV here in FL. One in Japan having a quarter life crisis....get back to blogging please!!! I didn't name names, I probably left some out as my mind is old and it forgets. I just wanted you guys to know that I think of you so often. Even lately when my life has been so crazy and I've not had time to read blogs...I still think about you and hope you're still there and still doing OK. Sorry, you're all stuck with me...hope it's reciprocal!

I got an awesome new years card today from my very good friend Ian. Those of you that know me well, know I adore Piglet. He's just so freakin cute...and pink. He doesn't get as much publicity as the rest of the critters in the 100 acre woods....but he's my favorite. So, of course I fell in love with the card when I saw Piglet on the front. I thought it was such a sweet gesture...I read it, I oohd and ahhd as it was just so darn cute. Then I started pondering the message. Pixie's used to ponder you know? Here's the message on the card.

"Pooh!" whispered Piglet.
"Yes, Piglet?" said Pooh.
"Oh nothing." said Piglet
"I was just making sure of you."
The inside said
"From year to year I can always be sure of our friendship."

So.

"Fellow bloggers!" whispered Pixie.
"I'm just making sure of you. Are you still with me? I sure need you in 2010!!!"

:-)