Funny a person that writes a blog for the world to read is really very private about some things.
Oh I don't mind telling you about my fat and my sagging skin. I have no aversion to discussing my armpit hair or my twat (I had to put that in as my MIL hates that word and I do try to work it into conversation now and then). Sex doesn't embarass me, and you all fucking know that foul language doesn't upset me. I don't mind telling you about my aches and pains. I do, however, abhor talking about my serious health problems when they arise.
I'm sitting here right now feeling very selfish. I know my friend wants to be with me, to lend me encouragement, but I haven't let her.
I'm having surgery tomorrow. I haven't told many people. I only told my kids yesterday. Shit, I just realized I forgot to tell one of my kids and now he's probably going to be pissed at me too. So, if you're a good friend, or some of my family that I didn't tell, don't be upset.
I don't like to be fussed at. I like to deal with these things all by myself. Internal. It's not that I don't want anyone to know, I just don't like drama. I hate the look of 'oh my God' in their eyes. I hate telling details over and over. Selfish? Yep. So sue me. That's the way I am.
I'm not a worrier. If I die tomorrow, it'll suck ass for sure. Worrying isn't going to change any of that. Am I sitting here drinking wine and eating M & M's out of the bag? You bet your ass I am. If I do kick off, I'd be so fucking pissed off at myself for not indulging! Will I be upset at myself when I wake up from the anesthesia and realize I drank a bottle of wine and ate a pound of peanut M & M's for nothing? Hell no...hello....woke up from the anesthesia! Also, peeps, peanut M & M's are never for nothing!
I wasn't going to mention anything here, but if you never heard from me again you'd wonder why!
So, when I wake up tomorrow, I have no reason not to start exercising and eating right. See, I didn't bother the last month as...well what a waste of time just in case...ya know??? I'll expect no mercy after tomorrow.
Anesthesia makes me puke...that should negate the M & M's right?
Peace be the journey
A wink and a smile
5 years ago