Tuesday, August 30, 2011


In about an hour I'll be stepping on the scale at my WW meeting.

I'm excited, and nervous.

This week using the Simply Filling Technique has been really awesome. It really got me more in touch with my body and mind.

Why am I nervous? I did so well this week I really want to show a loss. BUT. I didn't begin the program until Thursday so it hasn't had a full week to really compare apples to apples. AND. Before Thursday, I was eating out of control. Wednesday nights dinner was Mexican with mucho margaritas and basket after basket of chips and lots of ooey gooey cheesy food to follow. I do love my Mexican!!!

My mind is all over the place right now. I became a new grandma again last night. My newest angel is named Bree. She was 6 weeks early, but still weighed in at a bit over 5 pounds. I'm praying she thrives.

So, let's just go to bullets and I'll follow up tomorrow with a real blog!

Random thoughts

* I'm going to do this another week

* I didn't eat at night just because I wanted to eat. If I was truly hungry, I had something. I love popcorn. I wanted popcorn. I wasn't hungry so I told myself no.

* The one night I was really hungry, I had popcorn and it was amazing.

* I had to learn new things this week. That was good for me.

* I usually take my weigh in day as a free day. I eat whatever (and usually everything in mass quantities) I want. IF I choose to do this today, I think I will be able to use the 'only eat until satisfied' trick I learned this week.

* Only eating when hungry, and then only eating until satisfied and not full has been amazing.

* I am worried I didn't get all my nutrition in. I will pay more attention this week.

* I didn't eat any junk or processed foods. That's gotta be good!

* If we go to the movie, we go on Tuesday as they have $1 movie popcorn. I won't pay $5.40 for a small popcorn EVER. So, this is huge, from now on, if we go to a movie, it will NOT be on a Tuesday. I will take my own popcorn on another day. You have no idea how big that really is. I'm telling you peeps...that is big!

* I created a lot of new recipes last week. Some of them were really good!!

I'm off to shower and get ready for my meeting. I need to gear myself up for a gain and tell myself it was from what I did BEFORE Thursday and not after. Next week will be a true test of the SFT plan. I want it to work. I like the freedom and the strictness all at the same time. It's what I need in my life right now so I'm really hoping I can make it fly.

Wish me luck!

Peace be the journey


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Weekend Yummies

I fixed 2 new recipes today.

I don't want to go to jail, so you can get the first recipe here. Hungry Girl...some of her recipes rock, some suck. This one was a winner. It was easy to fix and TBM loved it. I will fix it different next time. Yes, there will be a next time. Here's my take on it. Oh wait, first, I actually took a picture of it simmering in the pot!

OK, my opinion of the recipe. The broth was actually very good. I didn't expect that from canned chicken broth, packaged broccoli slaw, and no veg sweating or anything. I followed the recipe (well mostly) so I'd know if it needed tweaking. It didn't. Changes I called for bamboo shoots. Gag me. I used water chestnuts, that I slivered instead. Awesome choice. Added crunch and loved it. I couldn't find straw mushrooms, so I substituted canned shitake. I won't use schrooms at all next time. They were rubbery and the texture was wrong for the rest of the soup. Also, next time, I won't use won ton wrappers. I'll make tiny meatballs instead. I liked the meat mix, but I didn't like the won ton packages. They were cute and all, but I thought they had a slimy texture that I didn't like.

So, next time it will be Asian meatball soup. Less points too. A win win for me!

I'll tell you about the fruity and tangy meatballs another time.

Peace be the journey


Friday, August 26, 2011

Good little thinky girl

We have a dog. OK, technically she's a dog, but I think she thinks she's a cat. She lays on her pillow all day long and only moves to eat and go potty. Much like her owner actually! Ahem. Anyway, she's an old girl, again much like her owner! Years ago, when she'd do something cute or good, TBM would say 'good little (insert task here) girl. If she went potty, she'd be 'good little potty girl', if she took her medicine good, she'd be 'good little medicine girl', etc. It's become a joke with us to apply that term to ourselves. I'll get home from work and TBM will say 'oh you were a good little workey girl'. Ya, we're lame, what can I say!

So, I put my thinking cap on this week, hence the title, 'Good little thinky girl' you thought I'd never get to the tie in eh????

Yesterday was a revelation for me. I've been following the WW program off and on since 1977. Yesterday was the first truly free day I've really ever felt being on program. Wow...that's really saying a lot isn't it??

I'm following what WW calls the Simply Filling Technique...SFT from here on in! It boils down to you eat from a list of power foods. You can have any of it, whenever you are hungry and eat until you are satisfied. Simple? Ahhh, not so fast Jack.

Do you know when you are hungry? Oh sure, sometimes we all do. Sometimes we'll be doing something and our stomach growls, we might even be light fact, I am both of those right now. BRB I'm going to go eat breakfast! Ahh, much better. Secondly, do you know when you are satisfied? It's not as easy as it sounds.

I spent a lot of time yesterday asking myself if I was hungry. It was lunch time and there I was. Self? Are you hungry? Heavy thinking commenced. OK people, here's my first clue. If I have to stop and ask myself if I'm hungry, I probably am not. That was a bit easier than the satisfied thing.

Dinner time rolled around. I was hungry. I fixed a beautiful meal. I portioned it out on my plate and I couldn't wait to eat it. All of it. It wasn't a big serving and I'd have eaten all that and more on the Points Plus program. I was really enjoying my meal. I stopped half way through and sat there for a minute or two. Made myself really I still hungry? OR, am I satisfied? We all know it takes longer for our brain to register full and we really should quit eating before we get full. So, I think satisfied is the key to the SFT plan. I decided I wasn't still hungry, so that meant I was satisfied. I quit eating. I knew that if I was hungry later, I could have more. I didn't get hungry later.

I wanted to eat when watching TV and several times I had to ask myself, are you hungry? Hmmmm as much as I wanted to feel my tummy rumble because I wanted to eat something, it didn't. Bastard. For the first night in many, many, many nights, I didn't eat anything after dinner.

I don't know if I'll lose anything this week, but it sure is making me think. It's going to help me get in touch with my body, my thoughts, and my feelings. I have to think that's a good thing.

If I go back to Points Plus, and keep implementing the 'eat when hungry and ONLY until satisfied' way of life, I have to think that's a win win!

So far I'm pleased with what I'm learning and how I'm feeling and the freedom it's giving me.

Peace be the journey


Thursday, August 25, 2011



Don't suppose any of you remember that cheer from school days? Hrumph, well I do! Yes, tongue is extended here.

As I've gotten older, I may have got a wee bit set in my ways. I know, gasp right? Sitting here this morning, in the quiet, reading and drinking coffee, I read this. OK, here's the 'give credit part'. I was reading my daily email from 'managing menopause'. I think I clicked on the wrong part of it, as this is a series by Jillian Michaels. I do love her. It was a series of questions asking me if I was proactive, or reactive. OK, up to speed now? Here's the meat.

"To succeed in life, you have to be open to changing, learning, and growing. Makes sense, right?"

Well, it does to me. If we want to change our fitness level, or diminish some of our fat stores, we need to make changes. How open are you to change though? Really. Are you a talker about it, or a doer? I don't like change. I like getting up in the morning, drinking coffee, reading emails, blogs, etc. I like to spend 2-3 hours doing this. Then I go to work. I tell myself I should get up and exercise, but I'll do it after work as I like my morning routine. Do I do it after work? Ah no. It's that set in my ways thing. That's gotta change.

"And to change, learn, and grow, you need to have the proper tools. That way, when the opportunities to show your stuff arise, you're ready to take them on and embrace the challenges."

As you know, I follow Weight Watchers. They give me the tools. Do I use them to their fullest? Nope. Damn stubborn woman! This week, I'm changing things up. I'm going to follow their 'Simply Filling Technique'. Scary? You bet your ass. All kinds of windows for a weight gain this week. It will keep me thinking though. Keep me on my toes. The main tool we use in the SFT is our own body to gague hunger. We can eat any of the power foods when we're hungry. Truly hungry. I think a lot of us eat just because it's a meal time. We've been taught to not let ourselves get too hungry or we'll binge. I understand that, but I also think we need to not fear hunger. I feel the slightest tinge of hunger and I think if I don't eat right away I'm going to die. "I'm starving to death" is a favorite phrase of mine. At night, I eat when I'm not hungry. I don't over eat, but I eat. There is no reason, in my humble opinion, to eat if you're not hungry. This week, I'm going to try to let my body be the guide. It's very scary as I have never tried to learn the different phases of hunger. Old dog, new trick. Look at me go!

Tummy, commence rumbling sequence!

Peace be the journey


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Things I've learned being fat

Being fat all my life, I've learned a few things.

I've learned:

* How to give directions via eating establishments. Go the the McDonald's and turn right. As soon as you see the Dairy Queen, hang a quick left. If you see Arby's, you've gone too far. Make a U turn at Panera Bread and start slowing down when you see the Burger King.

* People can be real assholes to fat folks. They make comments that I guess they think we can't hear because of the fat blockage in our ear canals.

* A lot of the population think fat = stupid, and also fat = lazy. A lot of the population should live a day in my body. They would be amazed how my mind works and how much I can accomplish in a day. F'ing ass hats.

* A can of pringles fits perfectly in the cup holder of your car making for easy snacking.

* If you carefully tear the paper cover off said can of Pringles, you can put it back over the opening and put the plastic cap over that and nobody will know the can is open. They won't want to open it, so you can eat all the Pringles yourself and then toss the can.

* People that are fit and healthy think they know it all. They also feel they have the right to tell you what you are doing wrong with your life. Some will even cut you off because you're too stupid to get it. Thier topple isn't going to be pretty.

* After getting out of the shower, a hair dryer can be used for more than drying hair.

* Desitin isn't just for babies.

* To ask for a table and not a booth in a restaurant.

* That even though I love roller coasters and amusement park rides, I don't fit in them.

* That people think it's OK to joke about my fat to me. I don't joke about your ugliness to you, or your being handicapped. Shut the hell up it's not funny.

* If you hide cookies in a container marked 'vegetable soup' in the freezer, they will be all yours!

* My ass does not fit on the toilets in some public rest rooms without touching things I don't want it to touch.

* One size does not fit all!!

* If you ask one time for a seat belt extender on an airplane, and just never give it back, you never have to ask again. I've had one for 10 years now. I'll leave it when I'm through so it's not like I stole it. I just borrowed it.

* That when seatbelts in cars became manditory years ago, mine didn't go around me.

* Back in the day, my doctors scales didn't go past 300 pounds. I couldn't be weighed.

* In addition, if you went to Weight Watchers at that time, there was a special weight they attached to the scale to allow you to be weighed on their scales.

* That I've met lasting friends here in the blog world that I'd never have met if I'd been fit and trim.

We can't go back and undo. We can only go forward and do.

Peace be the journey


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

To coin a phrase

Personal demons.

I stole that from Jack Sh*t's blog. He was blogging about this guy. It was this guy that used the phrase 'personal demons'. Whew, with me on all that?

OK, here's the scoop. Do you know what your personal demons are? I've often thought of it. I have no idea.

You can't get as fat as I did and not have some kind of emotional or psychological problem. Something is out of whack up there.

I'm not going to boil your bunny or anything, but I'd sure like to know what I'm fighting here. What's off kilter?

I have no freaking idea.

What makes me not take control of my weight/health on a permanent basis?

What makes me want immediate gratification?

What makes me put off until tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after?

What allowed me to lose 170 pounds, and then gain back 60 of it?

I don't know.

I don't suffer from any lack of self confidence. I was never abused as a child. My parents were loving. I had good friends growing up and still do to this day. I did OK in school. I went to college. So, all of the 'usual' demons don't seem to apply to me. I don't know what grisly beast has his talons in me, but I am ready to shed him once and for all.

I had a realization just now though. Perhaps I don't have to know what the problem is. Maybe I'll never know. Maybe I'll just get on with life.

Ya, I like that. I'm going to get on with life. Care to join me?

Peace be the journey


Monday, August 22, 2011

It's the roids

OK, here's how it's going to go down.

You know, in the morning. When I go to Weight Watchers. After another, YES ANOTHER, week of unbridled eating.

Weigh In Nancy- Hi! How was your week??

Fat Uber Calorie Konsuming Unendingeating Princess- Awesome!!!

WIN- I'm ready, step on the scale.

FUCK UP- Okey dokey!

WIN- Holy shit! What happened???

FUCK UP- Well, I was giving myself a bikini wax. Yes, I realize that I'm 52 years old, never had one, not sure why I need one, but it just seemed the thing to do. I got a bit carried away with the wax and ripped off things that should have remained in place. I was forced to go to the doctor and she gave me steroids and they made me puff up and retain this 8 pounds.

WIN- So you were a dumb ass hat and ate like a pig again this week? You failed to move your ass AGAIN this week? You ate no fruit, no veg, no milk, and no whole grain AGAIN this week?

FUCK UP- Ya, or it could be that.

Peace be the journey


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Soar to unimagined heights

My awesome cousin Luanne, who shares my struggle, shared this with me yesterday. I found it extremely deep. So I don't go to jail for plagiarism, it was written by Michael Kelley. The book is called "Rediscovering Catholicism". It just hit my brain as being parallel to weight loss.

I just want to share the quote with you. I want you to read it. Wrap your brain around it. Put your own spin on it. It really hit home to me. I thought 'how true!!!'

Luanne's spin was this:

"Last night the chapter was about what freedom really is. It said freedom isn't about doing whatever you want its about discipline. Doing what ever you think feels good eventually ends in slavery."

Damn, did she get the smart genes in our family or what????

"Discipline awakens us from our philosophical stupor and refines every aspect of the human person. Discipline doesn't enslave or stifle us; rather it sets us free to soar to unimagined heights. It sharpens the human senses allowing us to savor the subtler tastes of life's experiences. Whether those experiences are physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual, discipline elevates them to their ultimate reality. It heightens every human experience and increases every human ability."

Soar to unimagined! Who's with me?????

Peace be the journey


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Notes From The Universe

"To what extremes would you go, Debby, to bring about your heart's fondest wishes, to manifest your greatest desires, and to live your boldest dreams?

OMG - Did you just say visualize daily and take baby steps?!

The Universe

Look out world, Debby's eyes just closed (you are now closing your eyes to visualize), and everything is about to change."

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I LOVE MY NOTES FROM THE UNIVERSE!!! You can get your own notes here.

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®
© ®

Peace be the journey


Monday, August 15, 2011

Abuser or User?

I've often said I have an addictive personality. Everything I do, I do to excess.

When I smoked, I smoked 4 packs a day.

When I got fat, I got 368 pounds fat.

Ah, but today, when surfing for addictive personality traits, I realized I don't really have one.

Why is that, you ask?

Well, because basically (other than buying things I don't need now and then) those pretty much are the only 'to excess' things I did/do.

I am fine with one glass of wine. I would, however, love to have a glass every night. I don't, because I am afraid it would turn into a whole bottle. Every night.

When I gamble, I only take what I can afford to lose.

I do believe in the grey area. I just haven't mastered it yet. I'm trying to get away from the all or nothing mentality. I know it's there though.

So, sitting here, I wonder if telling myself I have an addictive personality in itself is a crutch?

Do I give myself the green light to eat things I shouldn't, when I shouldn't, because I'm an addict?

Do I tell myself I'll figure it out later, right now I'm a victim?

Do I tell myself I need to sit down and write everything down, get it all on the same page, and THEN I'll know what my problems are?

Yep. I do.

I don't believe anymore that I'm fat because I like food. Oh, I love food, but my unwillingness to curb the eating of bad things, that's more than just liking food.

I believe I've got a brain blip that needs shocking to get back on the right screen.

OK, so now that I believe that, how do we fix it?

I'm thinking NO might work. What a concept eh??

I want to buy a Keurig coffee maker (the $179 one of course). NO!

I really want a new blender. NO!

I want.....NO!

Last night, around 10PM I went into the kitchen. I wasn't really hungry, I just wanted to eat. Kitchen is kind of bare, I chose a banana. Nothing wrong with that you say? Of course there was. I wasn't hungry, I didn't want a banana, I just wanted to eat. Hmmm why? I have NO idea. Did I tell myself no? Nope.

Perhaps the way for me to break my addictions, is just say NO.

If I was truly hungry, a carrot would work.

Do you have this problem? I'm not the only one am I? How do you handle the inner voices?

Today I promise to tell myself NO once.

Who knows, maybe it'll catch on!

Today, I'm telling myself I'm not a food abuser, I'm 'just' a user. Users can quit any time. They're not addicted.

I'll let you know how that works for me!

Peace be the journey