Thursday, July 7, 2011

I think therefor I am?

Morning peeps. This post really isn't 100% about weight loss or exercise. It might pertain though, so go ahead and read it anyway!! It's mental health Thursday!

I get many daily emails. One of them is called 'Managing Menopause'. God help me, I sure the hell need this one!

Just because the friggin monkey on my back is menopause, yours might be loneliness, depression, stupidity. Oops, sorry, menopause made me say that. You see, I've lost all patience with stupid people! If you're stupid, I apologize. Go learn something!

So, a tiny bit of background.

The BEFORE Debby was:
* Happy, full of joy, always
* Worry free (oh there were problems, she just never worried about them)
* Able to leap tall buildings.
* OK, so I couldn't leap, but I could move without pain!
* Patient, caring, giving
* She slept like a baby
* She lost weight if she tried

The AFTER Debby is:
* Happy rarely. Joy is a thing of the past.
* Full of stress and worry.
* Everything hurts so bad it' hard to move. I'm 52 and feel like 92.
* I'd just as soon run you over with my car than take time to help you.
* With anything. Teach you? Screw that shit. Listen to you? No F'in way.
* Sleep? WTF is that???
* I've gained so much weight it just floors me.
* Oh there's a ton more but I've depressed myself here!

So, today I read this little gem and I can't get it off my mind. From that newsletter I told you about remember? I don't want to get sued for plagiarism because I have NO f'ing money! Oh I forgot to add that in my little bullet point above! Ahem, gem. Coming up.

Although we think we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.

Vicious circle? Catch 22? Maybe. Maybe not.

So, I have a crap day and come home and vent to TBM. Makes me feel better right? Gets it off my chest, clears the air, and I'm 100% now. Not so, according to this article. They say that...oh hell I'm going to do a cut and paste here! "Wrong. Contrary to popular notion, aggressive “venting” doesn't relieve bad feelings, but fuels them. Studies show that blowing up, punching a pillow, yelling, or slamming doors makes you feel worse, not better."

Holy shit I've been doing it wrong! All wrong.

Maybe if I act like I'm happy, I'll get happy?

Maybe if I get out and go for a walk, it'll get easier, and I won't hurt so much?

Let's snowball that just a bit.

If I get out and walk, move, just a bit, maybe it would be easier to lose weight?

For those of you that doubt it, it is MUCH harder to lose weight as you get older. Don't think it's a bunch of BS. I'm here to tell you it's the truth. So, if you're younger, and yes that means under 40, get your ass in gear. It's much easier at that age than it is at 50.

One more tiny thing. Selfishness. I've always considered myself a selfish person. I never hid that or sugar coated it. Oh I loved doing for others, but I didn't skimp on myself. I've quit doing that. I'm not taking time for me. For doing the things that are important to me.

I'm not reading magazines.
I'm not taking time to plan meals.
I'm not making time for exercise.
I'm not making time to pray.
I'm not taking time to find the joy in life. It has to still be there. It couldn't have gone away.
I'm letting worry over run me. I'm letting my health problems get the best of me.

Know what?

I'm fucking done. Today.

Today I will smile more.
Today I will move more.

Although we think we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act.

Today I'm going to try acting more like the old Debby.

Want to play along?

Peace be the journey



  1. Yep I sure do wanna play along! I can relate, even though I am not going through menopause. lol I let my chronic pain get me down, make me cranky, and downright piss me off some days. What do I do? MOVE! If I am going to that pool on a regular basis, I feel better! WHO KNEW! lol I also see a HUGE improvement to my mood...again, WHO KNEW!? lol I did know...I've been there before. When we moved away from my old pool I knew I needed to either find a local pool or build one at home STAT! It took me 5 months to find that place and I have been going just over 1 month. I am feeling better mentally & physically. Just what I needed! :) The weight loss has stalled over here...but I am going to WW Friday and moving on. Keeping my chin up and I want to play along with you....can you come out & play? :)

    -oopps one giant run on comment! lol :) xoxo

  2. Damn right I do! Who knew Michigan broads could be so smart? I love your post, Deb. The only way to do this and life in general is to make some time for you so you don't get lost in the shuffle.

  3. You dropped the f-bomb. In a blog with a pink background.

    I think I love you.

    And I hate my hormones. Perimenopause sucks. I do find, though, that when I realize why I'm I'm taking HUGE amounts of personal offense at that doorway that jumped out in front of my hand as I walked through it, that I often chill a bit. "Okay, Amanda, it's hormones. Lighten up."

    And sometimes I even do. Magic!