Thursday, June 16, 2011

You are so fat!!!!

Kids are cruel.

Grown ups are too.

Were you mocked as a child? I was. I still am. I've always tried to laugh it off. Play the clown. But you know what? It hurts like hell. It always has. It always will.

I'm watching Extreme Makeover:Weight Loss that I DVR'd on Monday. Dana is walking across a big God damned bridge (will splain that later) and a homeless man is mocking him. A freaking homeless man!! Just yelling out Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Cow! Trainer finally can't stand it and goes off on the homeless guy. That's when I hit pause.

I want a trainer. I want every fat person in the world to have someone like that. Someone to jump to our defense, to be there for us when the assholes of the world mock us.

Yes, so OK when pigs fly out of my ass and sprinkle pixie dust that turns into money when it falls. That is when we're going to have someone to defend us always. So I guess we have to do it for ourselves.

Next time someone mocks me I'm not going to laugh. I'm going to let them know it hurt. Then I'm going to let them know they're ignorant mother fuckers because that's just the way I roll. I want to be a 'turn the other cheek' kind of girl....but I'm not. I'm a vindictive bitch.

Have you ever had anyone stand up for you? I don't really count TBM as well, husbands just have to do that shit. Remember, I'm 52 years old. I've had one person stand up for me in 52 years. One. I was 14 years old. My girlfriend Nancy was the hero. We had ridden our bikes down to the convenience store. She was getting a gallon of milk. I was probably buying potato chips. Some boys were laughing and pointing. That was nothing new to me. They always laughed and pointed. God I hated that. It hurt so much. They jeered. Yes, they jeered. One of them said 'Weighs 500 pounds'. Nancy looked with disgust at them. As only a waif of a girl with long blond hair down to her ass could do. If they had nads yet, I'm sure her look could have withered them. She raised her eyebrows and with mock innocence said 'Oh my, does milk weigh that much?'. It shut them up. We left. I knew I had someone in my corner. I have never forgotten that.


PS: Big God damned bridge. TBM and I were going to New Jersey to visit my brother somewhere around 1983. My dad in all his navigational wisdom was telling us how to get there. We had to cross the George Washington bridge. Daddy couldn't remember the name of it, but he kept calling it 'The big God damned bridge'. He must've said it 20 times! Every time we get on a bridge now, one of us will inevitably ask if it's a 'big God damned bridge'. Daddy died in 2005. He's left me with so many memories I'll never forget.


Peace be the journey



  1. There always has to be a scapegoat in society. Hitler had the Jews. Now it's not acceptable to mock other races but it's fine to mock anyone who's overweight, apparently. It's just plain WRONG.

  2. Love your dads superlatives. If we had a nickle for every time our dad's said those words you and I would be living high on the hog.