Day 29

Almost over and then one more to go and I know I can do it.

What an awesome feeling.

I'm not sure I've ever gone 30 days in a row 'being good'. It's all due to that stupid 30 day challenge I made myself. You bet your hiney I'll be making myself another challenge.

It will include:
30 days of being OP 6 days a week
1 week of eating nowhere but at the table
exercising a minimum of 5 days a week and increasing the duration

Not sure what else, but definitely those things.

I eat only in my recliner. It's not good for a multitude of reasons. Posture isn't good for one. Mainly I think it's why I'm hungry at night. I associate my chair with eating. It's going to be a very tough habit to break as we've not eaten at the table since my Dad died in 2005. Not sure why, but I assume it's all to do with structure. Dinner was at 6PM every night for years. My Dad retired in 1983 and moved up north where we lived. He had dinner with us each and every night all those years. He moved in with us several years before his death and the routine stayed the same. When he became bedridden, I started eating my food in his room. We never went back to the table! In fact, when we wanted to sell our house, we uncluttered. I sold the dining room table and chairs! We didn't even have a table for a few years. When we bought this place in FL there wasn't room for a table in the house as there are 3 of us in this tiny unit, so the table was banished to the lanai. We never used it so we gave it away to make more room out there. We've now got a table of sorts out there, but all 3 of us eat in our recliners. It will be hard for me to go sit out there all by myself to eat, but I'm going to do it for at least a week. I won't like it, but I'll do it!

Sorry, got lengthy there.

Day 29 tally:
Stay OP: check
Exercise: check times 2
Journal: check

Tomorrow is the last day and then I start a new book.

The best laid plans

Often go awry.

I slept late today. Had a rough night. Didn't get out of bed until an almost unheard of 9:30. Decided to do my exercise later on. Had a lovely coffee hour. Caught up on emails and reading my favorite blogs. Planned my shopping list as I need to go to town today. Planned my food for the day.

Looked at the clock and it was 2:30. Had I exercised yet? Nope. Had I had lunch yet? Nope. Here's my conundrum. I bought a gorgeous 7 pound chicken to bake tonight. I bought fresh beets from the veggie man that comes to the park to roast in the oven while the chicken was cooking. I planned to put potatoes, carrots, and onions in with the chicken. Wow, dinner with 3 veggies and lovely taters and succulent roasted chicken. Sounded fitting for King Henry VIII! Oh yea, though I walk through the valley of counting points, I'd figured in a glass of wine for my dinner too. Henry can have mead. My mouth was watering. You'll notice I say 'was'.

Going to town here is different than going to town anywhere else in the world I think. I need to run to Wal-Mart. Half an hour you say? Not on your orange picking life. It's only 9 miles down the road, but it takes over 20 minutes to get there. I drive a one ton doolie so I practically need to park across the road from the door. Good for exercise, bad if you're pressed for time. It's Friday. The Mexicans get paid on Friday. Now don't get your panties in a bunch here. I'm not being politically incorrect, though I'm not adverse to doing that at all. It's just that we live in an orange picking state and the Mexicans pick the oranges. They ship them to Wally World in big buses on the weekend (the Mexicans not the oranges) to spend their hard earned dollars. It's a zoo there. So, let's do our math girls and boys. 20 minutes there, 20 minutes back, a few to park and God knows how long in the store. It's not a quick trip. Sooooooooo I can't put the fowl in the oven before I go or it would be cremated remains upon my return. I can't pop the poultry in when I get home as it'll be too late. What's a girl to do? Re-plan, that's what.

I've been hungry for pizza. Pizza Hut pizza to be precise. Pizza Hut Pan Pizza. I can have a personal pan pizza with ham, mushrooms, and olives for 13 points. Bring that bad boy on! I plan on licking every last drop of grease from my fingers too. This is where I think Weight Watchers is just brilliant. Don't tell us we can't have something. You can't tell a fat bitch she can't have something as that's the first thing she's going to want, and in the end, have. Tell her it's her choice. Oh yes my dear, you can have it if you budget the points. Is it worth it to you to have a tiny, almost minuscule, grease laden pizza instead of a myriad of other high fiber, filling foods?

Today it is. Hell yes I say! Bring on the steaming, greasy, crispy, mouth watering, gooey, disk of heaven. My taste buds are waiting and I'll enjoy every last speck.

Before you gasp in horror as I know you know I only get 23 points a day and how on earth will I get my milks etc in. As my youngest son says "s'all gravy baby." I'll have 2 WW yogurts for my milks, I think the pizza will cover the oil requirement, I've got strawberries planned later and mushrooms on the pizza and a cup of tomato soup before I leave. I'm golden! God it's going to be so wonderful to enjoy it knowing it's OK to do so.

I just finished the 2 mile WATP with weights also.

So, day 28 tally
Stay OP: check
Exercise: check
Journal: double check!

Life is good.

It's snot how you feel

It's what you do even when you feel like crap.

I have a cold. I don't get ill very often. No, I don't consider a cold being ill, but it's messing with me! I'm tired and sneezy and drippy. It took every ounce of oomph I had to drag my snotty hiney out of bed this morning and do my work out. I did it though! I did the 2 mile WATP with the weights. It was hard, but I did it. I took a pass on the 6 mile bike ride today. I think my sneezing would make me drive into a cactus!

Ian has a cold too so he's suffering not so silently with me! In fact, we both pretty much sneezed simultaneously the other day and that's when they started. I just hope Den doesn't get it. Ian got a new little camera that he can carry in his shirt pocket so we set out for a slow meander for him to test it. He didn't feel like doing his VERY brisk walk today. We made it as far as the lake. I said I'd wait out on the pier while he snapped away. It was so peaceful out there. The breeze, the sound of the water. I just love water. It's soothing and I did a lot of thinking and praying listening to the lap of the waves. That's as far as my stroll went. I made it off the pier and onto the swing for another half hour or so until I finally had the gumption to walk back home. What a pansy I am!

I got home hungry, tired, cranky, and sneezing away. I wanted pizza. I wanted dumplings. I wanted anything other than the 1 cup of lettuce and 1/4 cup of diced red peppers and 2T fat free Italian dressing I had planned for a snack. How gross! What's wrong with me to plan a veg for a snack????

I ate the salad. Gag me.

I was still starving. Figured I'd have dinner early. I had planned the creamy chicken curry and brown rice with a can of V8 for dinner. Oh yum. More veg. I wanted mashed potatoes and tomato soup with tons of cubed cheese. I wanted rich, creamy, mac and cheese.

I ate the curry. Gag me.

So, today's lesson for my thick brain is it's not how I feel, it's what I do when I feel like crap.

Yes, I had to fight with myself to not have what I wanted. The day isn't over yet, but I'm confident I can make it through. Maybe I'm learning that if I want the results I want, I have to do the action to achieve them. God how sad is that??? Just because I don't feel 100% doesn't give me carte blanche to eat. Would eating that food make me feel better? Well, as a matter of fact, yes it would. I've never been one to feel guilty about eating things I want. If it tasted good, it was worth it. Period. So, it's a bit harder for me to not eat what I want. I don't have the guilt aspect many of you do.

I'll tell you what is keeping me in the zone so to speak. It's that stupid little challenge I made for myself. The one that said I was going to stay OP for 30 days. The one that said I'd exercise a min of 5 days a week. Yes, that very one. It's the only thing that got me through the other day. For those of you that asked, yes I did make it through the next 60 minutes. I made it through the day. I went to bed at 10PM as I was starving and I had no points left. It was either that or eat. I did what I had to do. I don't know why it's helping, but it is. If you're struggling, try challenging yourself. I know when my 30 days is up, I'll think up another challenge for sure.

So, today is day 27 of my 30 day challenge. Drum roll please for the tally.
OP: Check
Exercise: Check
Journal: Check

Three days to go....
I'm the little fatty that can....I think I can I think I can I think I can I know I can I know I can I know I can!

Throwing in the towel

Isn't an option. If it were, it would have been hovering over the trash bin as I type.

I had a 2.6 pound gain this week. I'm just plain pissed off. I understand things happen. I don't have to like it.

I was 100% OP each and every freaking day. I made sure to get my 2 fruits and my 3 veg in every day. I got my 3 milks and my healthy oils in also. I was picture perfect. I exercised 6 days by doing a 2 mile (instead of the 1 mile) WATP each day. Two, or three days, I can't remember which, I rode my bike 5 miles at a fairly good clip. I was counting my biking as leisurely biking. My friend went with me yesterday and thought it was more moderate than leisure. Works for me! I try to maintain a 10mph speed and I go for 5 miles.

I allowed myself to wallow in self pity until after my WI this morning at the meeting. I know not to focus all my energy on the scale, but face it, we do use it to measure. I got on the scale knowing it was up as I weighed myself here at home. The look on the lady's face was actually the best thing I've ever seen at the scale. It was pure sympathy. No raised eyebrow thinking she knew I'd been bad. I think she wanted to get up and give me a hug actually. I told her I didn't deserve it and she believed me. I didn't get any platitudes. I know it will be better next week. I know it's the week of the month I always gain. I know it could be due to the ramped up exercise I did this week. I know all this. I've been doing it long enough....I KNOW ALREADY! She didn't try to tell me anything I already knew. She just said 'well that's in the past now isn't it?' What a gal. I needed to lose 1 pound this week to get another star, to make my #165 off. Bummer I didn't do it. I wanted to. That's in the past now isn't it?

I'm fighting myself today to keep OP. The only thing keeping me at this moment (and I won't promise it's going to work all day) from eating the wallpaper, is my 30 day commitment to myself. It's not 30 days yet. I promised I'd stay OP for 30 days. I promised I'd exercise for a min of 5 days a week and yada, yada, yada. I haven't broken many, if any, promises in my life. I don't want to start now, but I can't guarantee today's success yet.

I will promise to not go off program in the next 60 minutes.

Baby steps.

Oh Heavens! This bodes something strange

I took those words right out of old Horatio's mouth. I'm pretty sure it was Horatio, if not, please don't get your panties in a bunch. I love Shakespeare but sometimes I get the characters mixed up. Alas, I've digressed already!

As you all know, I've been working hard on a new me. A fit me. A trim me. OK, I'll say it. A drop dead gorgeous, smokin hot me! I made myself a goal for 30 days. Today is day 23. I vowed for 30 days to stay 100% OP every single day except for my no rules day. I vowed that I'd exercise a minimum of 5 times a week for a minimum of 30 minutes at a semi high intensity. I vowed that I'd track my food. For 22 days I've done that. I have no intention of stopping, but today I noticed something different. Today is Sunday. I thought I'd make it my day of rest from exercise. I lay in bed knowing I didn't have to leap out of the comfy softness and don exercise clothes and sweat my fat ass off to my WATP DVD. It felt lovely.

I got out of bed, put on my soft velvet robe and slippers, performed my morning ablutions, fixed my coffee and sat down to sip and read my book. Life was good. Or was it? Something was niggling at me. I felt unease. I'm a pretty mellow person. I don't feel stress as much as some seem to, and I certainly don't feel it during my morning coffee. What could be wrong? I damn near choked on my coffee when I realized what it was. OMG I didn't do my exercise and it's messing with my mind!!!!!!

They say if you do something long enough, it'll become habit. Is 22 days long enough? Apparently it is! Good grief I guess I'm stuck with this exercise malarkey now as I sure don't like the feeling that's inside my chest right now from not doing it!

I am reading an old book I've had around for years that is written by Bob Greene who is, or was at that time, Oprah's personal trainer. He sites reasons for why you should exercise first thing in the morning over other times of the day. They sound like valid reasons to me so that's what I've adopted for my routine. So, now, because I've not leapt out of bed and 'walked off the pounds' with Leslie, I'm feeling all crappy inside. It's actually like feeling nervous. How dumb is that? Goodness am I an OCD person or what?

I'll exercise later. I hope the feeling goes away.

Tomorrow will find me sweating my bootie off first thing for sure.

Robbing Peter to pay Paul

That's what planning my food for the day is like!

I get 24 points a day to play with. So, I sit down with a fresh tracker and start planning. I have to start with the 'must gets' or I won't get them. So, let's start with 3 milks (damn being 50 and needing that extra milk!), 2 oils, 2 fruits, 3 veggies. That's 10.5 points....maybe. You see, Weight Watchers have their own brand of math.

So I plan what I'd like for the day. Oops, it comes to 28.5 points instead of 24. Now, what are we going to cut? Hmmmmm let's get creative.

I was going to have cereal and milk for breakfast today for a change of pace. Milk is 2 points, cereal is 2 points. BUT, if I have WW yogurt, which still counts as a milk, it's only 1 point. OK, made that switch. NOW, if I have half a serving of cereal instead of a full one, that's another point shaved off. Two down, 2.5 to go. It gets tricky for sure.

I need 2 oils a day. If I eat them both at once, it's 2.5 points. If I use one teaspoon at lunch, and one at dinner, it's only 2 points. OK, split those bad boys up and another half point is shaved off! I'm on a roll here. 2.5 down, 1.5 to go.

I've been planning salmon for dinner for a few days now. It's high in points and it's usually what gets shaved off. Yesterday I substituted turkey meat loaf at 3 points for salmon at 4.5 points. Not today. I want the damn fish! That stays! So, still, 2.5 down, 1.5 to go.

I want taco salad for lunch today. I use 99% fat free turkey burger. Nice and low in points. 1 tablespoon of taco seasoning mix is .5 point. If I only use 2 teaspoons, it's 0. Made that change. I'll zip it up with some cayenne if I need to. Three down, 1 to go.

I just have 1 more point to cut. Where is it going to come from? Ohhhhhhh I've figured a whole serving of 2% shredded cheese on my taco salad. That's 1/4 cup. If I cut that to 1/8 a cup, it cuts 1 point!!!!!!! Wooohoooo we've done it!

Holy shit pass the Tylenol.

Only if it's zero points though!!!!

And the pounds go marching two by two

Hurrah! Hurrah!

OK, so it was supposed to be 'ants', deal with the change.

I was remiss in writing yesterday. I'd planned to skip cards last night, watch the biggest loser, and actually catch up on blogs that I'd not read, or written in days! Stuff happens though and I watched a 3 hour movie instead. Not even a good one I might add!!!

So, yesterday. Fixed my coffee and off to WW I went. I don't drink until after I weigh. I weighed myself last week before my coffee, and then after, and there was a 2 pound difference. I'll wait until after my WI thank you very much. After much worry about the WI, I had a loss. I was happy of course. My scale here at home showed me staying exactly the same this week. Now, my worry is that the scale at WW was off and I'll show a gain next week. Well, gotta worry about something right? Usually I weigh exactly the same here as there....so it was a bit odd. I'll deal with next week when it happens.

I've been OP since January 3. I've exercised a minimum of 5 days a week. I've journaled every single day. I'm on a roll. I ramped up the exercise a bit last week and I plan to stick with it this week. I did 2 miles instead of 1 on the WATP's. Bike riding was 5 miles at a pop. I hate it, but I'm doing it.

I can't wait to see what next week's WI brings!