Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Pixie rants

That's right, Fat Daddy isn't the only one that can rant. Oh, he might do it better...but I'm up for the challenge.

You'll have to read about it on my other blog though as it has nothing to do with De-Puffing the Pixie!

Today is my weigh in. Two and a half more hours until I know if all my efforts this week will be rewarded.

The scale can be my friend, or it can be my mortal enemy. Oh, I tell myself that I won't give the scale the power to play with my emotions. I lie. It has a power beyond comprehension. Sometimes I toy with the thought of weighing only once a month. I don't think I could do that. I think I need the accountability of a weekly weigh.

Something happened a while back that I've been thinking about ever since. Some of you might remember I went on a girls get away with my very good friend Mary K. We went to Clearwater beach and stayed at the awesome Hilton for 2 days. Swimming pools, jacuzzi, ocean, cabana boys...oops how did that get in there? We had a fabulous time. I took healthy snacks and had a plan. Part of my plan was to attend my Weight Watcher meeting while I was there. We got up that first morning and had coffee and chatted. I love cookies with my coffee, always have. I enjoyed a fiber one bar instead. They are so good and chocolatey, a real treat. I had my WW yogurt and Special K high protein cereal. We got dressed and off we went to the meeting.

I had done awesome that week and was excited to step on the scale. The lady said 'you're up a little'. My heart crashed to my toes. How could that be? I was on program. I exercised. I was a good girl. I pretended it didn't bother me. It did. A lot. I slunk to my seat and peeked into my book and saw a 1.2 pound gain. I was gutted.

I'm sure you can all see where this is going and how the sad tale ended. I gave up. I was on holiday and I was going to enjoy. I ate crab. All you can eat crab. I can eat a lot. I ate a lot of other things too. We came home after 2 days, but the bad attitude came with me. I ate for the rest of the week. I said screw it, it's not worth the effort, and I ate the following week too. I went to my WW meeting 2 weeks later fatter and bloated. I gained 10.2 pounds that week.

Now, the crux of the situation. There's always a crux you know?

I didn't gain 1.2 pounds at all! Upon looking at my book at a later date, I noticed the error. I weighed 198.6 the week before our trip. When I weighed in at that meeting that fateful day, I weighed 197.4. Somehow, the computer wrote + 1.2 instead of -1.2. An error...a freaking error.

This has stayed with me all that time. What would have happened if the computer spit out the sticker that said I'd lost 1.2? Would I have continued on my healthy plan and prevented the eating frenzy? Probably.

Wow, that's a lot of power I'm giving to a scale.

I rarely weigh myself between my official WW weigh ins. I know how weight can fluctuate. It's not worth the mental angst for me to weigh daily. My main problem with this is my weight seems to dip mid week and then raise a bit before the week is out. So, if I weigh myself on Sunday and it shows I'm down a few pounds...I'll think 'ohhhhh by Tuesday I should be down some more'!!! It doesn't happen that way with me. Tuesday I'll hop on the scale expecting more than I saw on Sunday and it's always less so I'm disappointed. I might have lost, but it's less than what I thought, so it's not good. I learned from that, and like I said, I rarely weigh myself during the week because of that.

I was feeling quite thin the other day so I hopped on the scale. I was up 2 pounds. Gutted? Yep. I flew out of the bathroom and took out my frustration on Ian. I screeched even. 'I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER TO BE GOOD IF I'M GOING TO GAIN WEIGHT ANYWAY!!! I MIGHT AS WELL EAT WHAT I WANT AND ENJOY THE GAIN!!' I then stormed out of the house leaving him to scratch his head and wonder what the hell that was all about.

I managed to bitch slap myself into submission and get hold of the situation. I told myself that I KNOW the scale goes up and down and chastised myself heartily for getting on the beast mid week. I reminded myself of the 1.2 pound gain/loss fiasco and told myself that the week wasn't over and the fat lady wasn't singing just yet. I stayed on program. It was hard and it all could have been avoided by not getting on the stupid scale in the first place!

It's not practical for me to say I'm not going to get on the scale ever again. It is unfortunately how I choose to measure my success. Not the only way of course, but the tangible way. The way that will allow me to reach my WW goal and be able to attend meetings free for the rest of my life. I need those meetings, so the scale and I must learn to play nicey nicey.

Sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I love it. We're in a rocky relationship for sure, but we're in it for the long haul. I am learning to not give it the power. I won this week. Doing things once makes it easier to repeat. I pray that it will be good to me today in a few hours. If not, I'll kick it up a notch and hope for a better outcome next week. I'm nothing if not stubborn!



  1. The scale is a bit of a rocky partner to be sure. I do weigh every day, but have learned to roll with the normal fluctuations. I hope that your weigh in went okay and that you didn't kick the scale!

    Take care,

  2. I also weigh in most days...
    And this week its scary as the time of the month so each time I climb on I expect to see a gain and when I do I know what to blame!!!

    I hated the scale myself, now its my friend..I know if I dont weigh in for one week at this stage of my journey I'll be in trouble as in the past I hated seeing the weight gain, I felt it so thought it was okay to stay off....Wrong...that scale as a way of making you get back on track.

  3. "I was on program. I exercised. I was a good girl."

    If you are doing the best you can do, the scale will show it ... eventually. It is frustrating to see those little ups and downs but it always averages out in the end. Sounds like you know how to get yourself back on track. I loved that "... bitch slap myself back into submission."

  4. I hate that damn scale! Today at 10am I have to get on it. My tummy hurts and Im nervous as hell! lol Why does it do that to me? lol Good luck to the 2 of us! :)

  5. The scale is a bitch sometimes to be sure Deb. I have had that why do I bother tantrum about a zillion times over the years. But it'll just takes a whole lot longer than any of us really want. No fair...when there is crab to eat. But at least you got crab instead of peanut butter crackers.

    Here's to being stubborn

  6. What an important post. It's good that you can see how much power you are giving to a scale...a scale that turns out to be wrong!
    weight loss

  7. Oof, Debby, I can so relate!!! Glad you are back on track! I shared this post on my read items, because I'm sure many of my readers know exactly what you mean too.