Another day in paradise

Yesterday was that!

We left our park at 10am and got home at 10pm. What an awesome day!

We went to Ft. Myers shopping and to the beach. Started out at Sam's for a look around and a promise to return later just before heading back home to get cold stuff. Went to the mall on a quest for new pillows for me. I'm like a freakin princess and my pillows have to be perfect or I can't sleep. I've been a down pillow baby all my life and I tried to switch to a cheaper alternative last year. It ain't workin! So, back out on the 'pay a freakin fortune for 2 freakin down pillows' hunt yesterday. I settled on 2 from Penny's. The verdict is still out as to their perfectness. At $120 for 2 pillows, if they're not perfect, they're going back!

Went to Target to look for mini bags of pretzels I saw a few weeks ago at another Target and should have got! Of course, they dind't have them. See, I got a case of Snyder's fat free mini pretzels from Sam's for the trip down here. Awesome, single portion size, perfect for me as I might want pretzels now, and then not want any for weeks so a big bag would get stale. Anyway, these bags are 1.5 ounces so they're 3 points...that's a lot of points to give for pretzels. Target had mini bags for Halloween that would only have been 2 points and perfect. Should have got the darn things when I saw them eh????

After all that shopping and walking it was time to hit the beach! A friend of mine, actually a lady I met on the Michigan WW chat thread several years ago, went to a hotel in Ft. Myers last year and we drove over there to visit her and her hub. We thought at the time that we might be able to sneak to this hotel at a future date and use the parking lot, the bathrooms to change, and the beach. So yesterday, we did! Felt like true daredevils! The water was awesome! I couldn't believe the difference between this week and last. When I went to the beach with my friend last week, it was colder than cold! TBM and I were able to go right in and float and splash. What a lovely break to the shopping day! Hotel had a shower also so we were able to rinse all the salt water off. Awesome.

Went to McDonald's for a hot fudge sundae. Sat outside...watched the sun set right from Mickey D's. Awesome again!

Now it's dinner time. I'm starving, TBM is always starving. We chose chicken. Oh OK, so it was in the form of wings of the hot variety served by scantily clad girls with big boobs. You know, most of them are NOT very pretty. I bet NONE of you men knew that...I highly doubt your eyes ever make it to their faces. I will admit they have nice hooters and even nicer asses. I sure would like one day in a body like that!!!

At Sam's I got things to gear us up for our re-start next Wednesday. Three bags of froze fruit and a package of the low fat chicken spinach asiago sausages that Den loves. I also got a vegetable.

OK, so it was in a pumpkin pie. Hey, I put fat free Reddi Whip on it!!

Baby steps.

:-)

Coffee and flounder

I'm having an odd breakfast this morning. Coffee with a side of flounder. No, not the fish, the action. Yes, I'm floundering to beat the band here. Oh, and I'm having a portion of wallowing also.

I've been trying to catch up on blogs...read some good ones this morning. Some with awesome ideas, some with great recipes, some with upbeat attitudes. I think I didn't really absorb any of them though as I'm still not motivated to get back on program.

The mom in me, or the school teacher education makes me ask questions of myself. Do I want to get fatter? Ah no. Do I want to put unhealthy food in my body? Ah no. Now I feel I need to take the piece of chalk and pound it into the part of my hair while smacking my hands with the ruler (yes, I did go to Catholic school, why do you ask?)and ask the next question. WTF do you think you're doing you moron???? I dunno, but I'm sure doing it.

I know you all know how easy it is to say 'tomorrow' I'll get back on my diet, my program, my whatever you call your lifestyle. Then tomorrow comes and it's tomorrow. That tomorrow comes and I don't know about you, but I say, 'OK next week'. I'll give myself a whole week. That should get it out of my system. After 45 years of trying to 'get it out of my system' I, as an intelligent person, should know it's not freaking going to work! It's never going to be out of my system. I need to learn to get past the obstacles with it in my system.

I've never been the queen of excuses. I don't need an excuse to eat. I just do it. I never blame anyone else as it's me that does it to myself. I do not sneak food, I do not eat in private. I eat for all to see and always have. I at least have that going for me eh???

I found myself making deals with myself yesterday. Hey, whatever it takes. Too bad none of them worked. Today is my WI day, and for the first time I can ever remember, I'm not going to my meeting. I've always told people that if they have a gain, they need to suck it up and go and take their medicine. Well F that, I'm not going. I'm picking my friend up from the airport on Friday. I said OK, that's it, I'll get back OP on Saturday. Oh no, there's a dance Saturday night and I'll want snackies. Sunday. Shoot, everyone knows you can't start a diet on Sunday! Monday. Oh no, why start Monday when my WI day is Tuesday? Holy shit do you see the crap that goes through my mind????

It would be bad enough if my decisions only affected me, but they do not. If I falter, TBM goes crashing down like a big oak tree. He seems to just wait for me to fall off program so he can come along for the ride. I feel bad about that, but ultimately, it's his problem, and not mine. I don't say to him 'Oh let's go eat this'. I just eat it and he does too. It wouldn't do any good if he said to me 'oh let's not.' I'd do it anyway. Ya, I'm stubborn like that.

So, I'm wallowing also. I'm finding that my quality of life has been affected by this arthritis. Oh boo hoo you say...lots of people have arthritis. Yep, they do and I freaking don't want to be one of them. I'm learning to deal with it, I just need a bit more time. I've been a fiercely independant woman all my married life. I literally do it all. I cook, clean, shop, do the bills, keep things in order, plan. I also do the home maintainance. I do the wiring, I do the gutter cleaning, I mow, I do NOT shovel snow anymore thank God! We need a new ceiling fan? I'm your woman. I don't want that hanging light in the dining room anymore? No problem taking it down and tending properly to the wiring. I don't want that TV there? No problem, I am strong, I can move it. I want a new spigot outside? I'm a whiz with pvc and pipe goo. I ran all our phone lines and cable lines in our home...thre's nothing I won't at least try to do, and usually succeed. We're in debt? Hell yes. No problem, I can get a job and I can help. Not so much now. I can't button my own pants and I can't unhook my bra. I can't open door knobs...and of course the list goes on. The thing that pisses me off each and every night in bed is the pain it causes me to pull the covers over me. I get hot so toss the covers off. I then get cool and go to do a simple thing like pull them back on and it's excruciating. My hands just don't grasp things without pain and I do the toss off, pull on thing several times a night. I lay in bed and you'd think I'd be pain free. For some reason, when I lay down, or sit with my feet up for that matter, I have pain in my right leg. It throbs. My right calf, my right ankle, and my right hip. Doesn't matter how I lay, it hurts. That's just BS!!! I'm not moving, it shouldn't hurt! OK thank you for letting me piss and moan. It does help! I am trying not to talk about it to my friends and family as I don't want to sound like a broken record. It is affecting my life at the moment though. We really need me to get a job down here and I'm so limited in what I can do, I just don't know if I'll be able to help. We'll wing that. OK, nuff about that.

So, what am I going to do about everything? Well, here's my plan.

I'm going to go to my WW meeting next Tuesday and I'm going to promise myself to get back on program. I'm going to use this week to come up with meal plans and make sure I have everything on hand. I'm going to come up with an exercise plan and impliment it. We have a gym here for goodness sakes! I have a gorgeous bike. I have 2 swimming pools. I think exercise will help the arthritis pain also. I'll take any and all suggestions from all of you. Well all except the ones that say to do it today instead of next week. You guys don't count!

I don't want you to think this is a downer post either. I'm exceedingly happy. Life is still good. I love my life here. I love my friends, my activities, the sun, the palm trees, the laid back atmosphere. This is my paradise. I just need to work getting fit back into my life is all.

I know I can do it. I can do anything. It's like when my day care kids said 'I can't'. I always always said 'can't and don't want to are the same thing'. Yep they are. It's not that I can't, it's just that I don't want to!

All of us can.

:-)

Cleaning house

No, this isn't really about diet. It's really about cleaning the house.

We had the carpets cleaned the other day. That required us to remove everything from the living room, hallway, inside bedroom, and lanai. Where do we put it all? Well, I emptied the 2 pantries and put that stuff in crates in the bathroom. What? You never had food in the bathroom? C'mon, you're all on a diet, of course you did!

We then put the wooden pantries in the kitchen. Now remember, we live in a tin box here and my kitchen is the size of a postage stamp. We store all the thermoply that we cover the windows with in the spring under the bed in the inside bedroom....that went out to the shed. We took the table and chairs from the lanai and put them outside...we just stuffed shit wherever we could. Our bedroom (it's out in the lanai) was packed with stuff.

Guy came, cleaned the carpets and was gone in less than 2 hours. All that work and that SOB was in and out like that. I spent all day yesterday putting shit back where it belongs. I'm still not done.

Diet is in the toilet here folks. I know, broken record. Not sure what I can do to get myself back on track this time.

I'm so far behind in blog reading I should be flogged.

Maybe tomorrow I can catch up......tomorrow....

:-)

She's baaaaaaaack!

Nope, poltergeists didn't take over my body.

My girlfriend and I went to the beach for a few days. OMG what a fabulous time I had. Relaxing, lovely, sun, sand, ocean, swimming pools, Jacuzzi, pillow top beds, down duvets. Gorgeous sunsets, lovely sun rises, great food, wonderful wine, good friendship. We relaxed. We rejuvenated. We ate. Here is us eating at Cooter's. I mean really...Cooter's? We just had to eat there!







Here's me on our balcony. Awesome sunsets right from there!

What's this got to do with Weight Watchers? Really? Not a damn thing. I did go to a meeting while we were there. I gained 1.2 pounds. I'm guessing it had something to do with the all you can eat crab legs the night before. It might have been the bottle of wine that night too though. Oh, oh oh, maybe it was the fried fish sandwich with homemade potato chips for lunch that day. Don't really care what caused it...it was just there. It'll go bye bye. Next week might show a gain also. Residual overlap ya know? I didn't learn moderation yet. I'm still working on it though!

I learned something so much more important than moderation on this trip. I learned that I'm confident in my body. I was at the beach and I enjoyed every minute of it. I never once thought I didn't deserve to be there. I never once thought of wearing something over my bathing suit to cover my body. I wasn't just there, I was comfortable there. I didn't care if people stared. Really, I honestly didn't. I just enjoyed myself. I sat on the beach one day for about 6 hours and never had a negative thought. How awesome is that? I know that I don't look good in my suit. I know that my arm fat flaps. I know that my thigh fat swings. I know my boobs sag. I'm not some delusional old woman that thinks she's hot. I know what I look like. I know something else. I know I don't give a flying F. I deserve to be on that beach, enjoying the sun and sand just as much as the next person. I know that if people don't like how I look, they can turn their eyes somewhere else.

None of this even entered my mind until I got home. While I was there, I was just there. Enjoying myself. Soaking up the sun, people watching, enjoying the companionship of my friend. Walking the beach. Bubbling in the Jacuzzi. Eating, drinking, just being. It wasn't until I got home I realized how completely at ease I was walking around in my bathing suit. Up and down the beach. Across the sand. Around the pool. Even back up to the room...all in just my bathing suit. Wow.



The sunsets were spectacular.



Hey, one other thing that was cool. The towels in the hotel fit around my body! I considered stealing one! Ya, guess they were extra big, but it was cool for the first time ever to wrap a bath towel around my body. I remember when a beach towel wouldn't even come close to closing around my girth.



I've come a long way baby.

:-)

Let them eat cake!

Ya, so I froze the rest of the birthday cake yesterday morning to keep me from eating it.

Frozen whip cream cake is really good!!! Who knew?

I'm sitting here laughing my ass off. I'm definitely NOT a guilty eater. I eat something I like and there's no guilt afterwards.

I went shopping with a friend yesterday for clothes. I realized after getting home that I was a virgin in that area. I've never gone clothes shopping with a friend before. In my younger days I was too fat. None of the stores they went to had clothes to fit me, so I didn't go. That held true until just a few years ago actually.

So yesterday was actually a lot of fun! I needed a new bathing suit as I'm doing another first...going for a girls outing! I'm stoked! The elastic in my bathing suit has worn out so when I get out of the pool it hangs to my knees. The heat and sun down here will do that to a suit. I also don't have any shorts at all and my only capri pants are denim. It's been 95 degrees here with a bout 200% humidity. Denim is damn hot and makes bits sweat that we ladies just don't want to sweat! I forgot to mention that I have no tops in a light color either. Dark top + sun = other sweaty lady bits! So, let's tally. I need a new bathing suit, some shorts, some capri pants, and some tops. I have no money and I really don't like to shop! I hit the jackpot at Sears. Who knew Sears had clothes???? I sure the hell didn't. I only ever shopped at fat shops. OK, I'll do a photo montage later of all my buys for tomorrow's post...and to spare the male readers more shopping bs, let me just say I got 2 bathing suits for $7.99 each!!! They're a little large...but the price is right! I got a bunch of tops( for 6-8)$7.99 also and capri pants (3 pair) for that same amount. Shorts were $8 I think and I did get a cute pair of denim ...shoot can't remember what my friend called shorts that went almost to the knee which is what I like...oh yes bermuda shorts! I had a freakin ball and have a ton of clothes and after using the 20% coupon along with the sale, I don't think I even spent $100! Now, I realize that $100 is a lot of money, but I got a lot of stuff!

Shoot, sorry, I had NO intention of talking about that at all. I wanted to talk about eating cake when I didn't mean to yesterday. See, we went shopping and I assumed we'd go out to lunch. That's what happens when you assume! I was going to have steel cut oats for breakfast, but they take a long time to cook and I couldn't be bothered. We left at 10am and didn't get home until after 2pm and I was famished. I'd planned skinny minnie meatloaf for dinner. I needed to get ground beef. I'd planned to come home from shopping and then take my truck back out for groceries. Den got called to work so I had no truck! I had no back up plan in place. I'm still getting in the groove here you see so have no yummy meals prepared in the freezer. Oh sure, I have fixings and had I really wanted to be good, I could have. I just didn't do it.

So, I'd planned steel cut oats for breakfast, but hadn't planned the time in to cook them.

I'd planned to go out to lunch, and didn't have a back up plan for if we didn't.

I'd planned something for dinner and had no back up plan if it didn't work out.

What did I learn? Even though I planned, I didn't plan well enough!

I also learned that if there is whip cream cake in the freezer, it still calls to me and I'll never freeze leftover whip cream cake again. There are frosted cupcakes in the freezer...they don't call to me. The cake did.

See? You're never too old to learn!

I could beat myself up for eating everything I ate yesterday. It could have stopped at the cake but of course it didn't. There were left over crackers too and oh oh oh some wine and yummy cheese! I will learn moderation some day. That day just wasn't yesterday!

So what about today?

I cooked the steel cut oats last night so I just have to reheat them this morning.

I'm going to town this morning so even if TBM does get called into work, I'll have dinner fixings.

I'm going to get some things in the freezer for emergencies. Round steak is on sale so I'll make a big pot of veggie soup and freeze it in individual servings. I got some gorgeous eggplant at the fruit market a few days ago so I'll make a big pot of my homemade pasta sauce. The Skinny Minnie meat loaf is a triple batch so that'll be in there. I'm going to also make a list of quick things to grab. I always have shrimp in the freezer and I always have whole grain pasta...hello that's a meal right there! Thank you Heather for the meatloaf recipe. I'll let you know how it turns out!

OK guys, Pixie has a plan again today and I'm pretty sure it's going to come to fruition!

I need to scoot right now. Why? I'm going to water aerobics! Yep, I keep saying I'm going to and don't. Today is the day.

Carpe Diem!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-)

Happy birthday to me!!

Well, my very favoritest day of the year is almost over and what a day it was.

I love my birthday. I always have, and I always will. My friend Mary K. said to me tonight at dinner 'I don't think I've ever met an adult that liked their birthday as much as you do.' Yep, that's probably true. It might be juvenile, but man I love it and that's not going to change!

Let's start my day in reverse shall we?

We had Mexican for dinner. Was there ever really any doubt? Nah. This place has to die for Mexican. I just love every bite that goes into my mouth. Margaritas too. Yum. We've been telling everyone we know about this place. I promised the lady that always waits on us that I'd make sure everyone knew how good this place was. Tonight when we walked in there were about 30 ppl from our park in there. We've got a dining club in the park and they go to a different restaurant each time. I was chatting with them before we sat down. She (the lady that usually waits on us)asked me if I knew them. I said 'of course, they're from my park. I told you I'd tell people about this place!' She was thrilled! They were getting 99 cent margarita's and I talked our girl into giving us that price too as we were from the same park! Can you say yum????

Here's me after our dinner. They brought me dessert and sang to me. I was too full to eat the dessert, but it sure didn't go to waste!

This is what I ate. Flautas, ground beef if you please. OMG they're just perfect. Crispy on the outside and the meat is so tasty. I was going to get something different. I just couldn't do it!

Here are Den and I before the meal came. Heck this is even before we ordered! I'm wearing the jewelery that my son and daughter in law got me for my birthday. Stylin eh??? I love gifts!

Here's our very good friends Mary K. and Clair. My day was complete when they joined us for dinner!

Here are some of the birthday cards I got.

This afternoon Den and I went to the pool for about 3 hours. It was a picture perfect, blue sky day. After an hour or so in the pool, it was time for snackies. I took a bottle of wine, some cheese and crackers, and some birthday cake. That's what I call a picnic! Color me happy here.

Here's a bit of what I took. That glass you see with the eagle on it was my Daddy's. It's one of my most treasured possessions. I think of him every time I drink from it. He always had whiskey and coke in it.

Here are Den and I in the pool. I set the camera on the side of the pool and ran like hell to get in the water. I wear a hat and glasses in the pool too (hey, I'm old, bite me!)but took them off for the picture.

As I said earlier, I love presents. Yep I do! Den got me the dry erase board I really wanted. My friend Ian is bringing me a present when he comes in a few weeks. How cool is that? I saw it today when we skyped...all wrapped up! I get pressies today and more in 2 weeks! He's also getting me a small camera that I can carry in my purse. I'm pumped about that one too!!! Here's my dry erase board. I know you wanted to see it!

When I got home from WW this morning, I had a slice of my birthday cake. We made it last night as it needs to chill over night. It's an Ellis family cake. Whip cream cake. It's usually a 4 layer chocolate cake with frosting and fresh whipped cream between each layer all covered with more milk chocolate frosting. I didn't' want to make a whole cake as I knew I'd eat a whole cake. We made half a cake...turned it sideways and frosted it...that's why it looks funky. Don't care what it looks like...it was heaven on a plate.

Here's the cake before we cut into it. A little half circle of joy!

What was the best gift I got today?

Was it the phone calls from my kids? Nope, though I loved talking to my 3 boys. Was it the phone call from my daughter in law? Nope, but how cool was it that she rang? Was it the phone call from my best girlfriend from grade school's mom? Nope, but that was freakin awesome! The phone call from my friends? Nope. The text msg from my youngest son's girlfriend? Nope but I loved it. The jewelery and scarf I got in the mail from my oldest son and his wife? Nope, though it was cool wearing it to dinner. The dry erase board? Close, but no cigar. The camera I'm going to get? Nah, but I can't wait to start carrying that little baby around with me all the time!!!

As you know, last week I weighed 201.6.

This was my best birthday present of all time.

:-)

Just like football

Do you remember back to high school days and the cheers at the football game? One of them just came to mind.

First and ten, do it again!

Weight loss is a bit like football. We have goals. We have long runs and sometimes we get tackled at the knees. We score, and we get penalties.

Football players are a rare breed. They play injured, they play sick, they play like their life depends on it. That's how we ought to treat our weight loss journey. We shouldn't just chuck in the towel because we're having an off day. We need to keep the end score in sight.

My weight loss journey took a side trip for several weeks. I was on the bench, injured. I didn't give up the game plan though. I sat on the sidelines and watched. I learned. I kept reading blogs and getting ideas. When the time was right, I asked the coach to put me back in the game. "C'mon coach, I'm ready to run again."

I'm back in the game. I'm trying to regain lost yards. I will plow down the field until I'm in new territory. I may get benched now and then, but in the back of my mind, the thought and the thrill of getting back in the game will always be in my mind.

You've got a lot to lose? Break it up. First do 10, then do it again! You gained 16 pounds on your sidelined hiatus? First do 10, then do it again! Yep, I like it.

First and 10! Do it again!! Rah Rah Rah!!!

:-)