Monday, September 19, 2011

Get a grip

Ever feel you're chugging along with a firm grip on things? Then all of a sudden someone greases the frigging rope and you go sliding into the abyss?

Well hell, I do. A lot.

I'm working on that. I'm learning more and more about myself. I'm actually willing to (insert gasp here) change! Oh yes, me, the queen of stubbornness is actually willing to admit the way I've done things for...well forever, just don't work.

Weight Watcher's talk about 'red light foods'. You know, food that if you take one bite you're a goner? I never really thought I had any of those. This week I realized that red light doesn't have to apply to just A food. It could apply to AN action.

I've been fat all my life. That is not a boast. It's a sad fact Jack. I've been teased, taunted, ridiculed, looked over for jobs, and, well you get the drift. I remember being in grade school (Catholic mind you)and being on a diet. My Mom didn't have a clue. She'd make me take 1/2 a sandwich for my lunch and that was it. I mean what else could go in the bag? I wasn't allowed chips or cookies...what else was there? I'm not blaming my Mom for my fat...but geez Ma...fruit and veg were around back then! You think kids are cruel? Just try being around Catholic girls. Those bitches are vicious! They'd make fun of me for being fat AND they'd make fun of me for trying to NOT be fat. Do you think I'd be struck by lightning if I said I wish they'd all rot in hell? Probably, and my Christian side won't let me think that...damn that Catholic guilt!!!

Frick, digress. Again.

So...all my life. My first trip to Weight Watchers was in 1977. Before that I'd tried everything. Atkins, grapefruit, cabbage soup, you name it, I tried it. So with that first trip to WW, I deemed that weigh in day would be a free day. I could eat whatever I wanted on that day. It got me through the week. If I wanted something, I'd tell myself I could have it on weigh in day. That never changed. EVERY single diet I've ever been on, I've had a 'free day'.

This week, 52 years old, I realized that just isn't going to work for me anymore. Cue the angels and harps! Epiphany time!!!

Why? Well, it's the big lead up to 'the day'. I anticipate. Oh what will I eat?? Sometimes I eat things I don't want just because I can. Ya, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed sometimes.

THEN the next day. OMG it's so hard to get back on plan. I remember today what I really wanted yesterday and didn't have. Maybe I should have 2 cheat days this week and then next week get back to just 1.

Two becomes three. etc. It's a mental battle. I don't like how my mind feels. I don't like the feeling of deprivation and angst. It's so hard.

SO, yesterday this little niggle started in. I'm loving the new program I'm rocking. The SFT (simply filling technique). It's got good bones. So why do I feel I need a day to lose control? The program is this in a nutshell...

You eat ONLY when you are TRULY hungry.
You eat ONLY until you are satisfied.
You eat mostly only power foods.
A few other things, but those are the basics.

I realized on my 'cheat day' this week, there really wasn't anything I was hungry for. Well, Panera Bread mac and cheese. That shit is to die for! I did want something chocolate. Did I eat those two things and stop? Hell no. It was my cheat day, I could have it all. I did. So, let's think about this...

I get 49 points plus a week to play with on SFT...Panera Bread mac and cheese (the small size which is plenty) is 13.5 PP. A snicker bar was 9 I, wow, let me get this right....I could just go out to lunch any day like a normal person and have the mac and cheese for lunch...perhaps paired with some veg soup instead of the bread roll? THEN later in the week if I wanted a candy bar I could have one??? THEN still have PP left over??????

Who the hell knew??????

I don't like to step out of my comfort zone. It's hard for me to give up things I love. To change my ways.

I think it's time.

I think the cheat day needs to be put to rest. I think I need to give the plan a try the way they intend for it to be worked.

What about you? Do you have a free day? How do you handle treats? I know how I'm going to do it this next week.....

R.I.P. Cheat will be missed.

Peace be the journey



  1. No real cheat days but I do bank points (remember that concept from back in 2002?) to use for little treats on the weekend. I'm in maintenance with WW but have found that I can only have the 29 points each day. If I eat the extra 49 points, I gain. I'm short. Sigh.

  2. I used to do the exact same thing, until about a month ago. I don't do cheat day any more either....and what do ya know....lost each week...well dah!!

  3. I used to think I didn't have "trigger" foods, and then I realized that cookies and cake both kill me. I can do a single serving of ice cream or 1-2 squares of a good chocolate bar, no problem. But put me in front of a whole cake or a bunch of fresh cookies? I'm a goner.

    Kills me, because I love to bake, but I'm only 4.5 pounds from goal after five years and really, it's a matter of priorities. The cookies and cake will still exist after I hit goal.

    As for a cheat day, as such? Not really, anymore. I eat ice cream almost every night so it's not as if I'm torturing myself. My weigh-in day I do up my intake a bit (usually by grabbing a sub for lunch instead of my standard pita w/ peanut butter, apple, and cheese), but I don't exceed my calories and I may dip into my weekly points by 3-4, which is eventually made up for with activity points.

    I have a sinking feeling though that I'm not going to be able to eat at a maintenance points or calorie level... oh well. I can live like this. Not getting any younger, so I might as well suck it up :)

  4. I don't intentionally have cheat days, but the weekends are a fraught danger zone for me! I weigh in on a Friday, so start a fresh tracking week then too, and I just sort of assume that with my 49 points of flex it will soak up whatever treats I have over the weekend, and then occasionally I go nuts, and obviously it doesn't. I'm still working on tracking properly / eating mindfully over the weekend thing, but I'm sure I'll get there eventually!

  5. I'm still pondering the schoolgirls and whether it's always wrong to want to murder people!! Schoolgirls can be SO vile!

  6. WEll...on momentum...I basically used all my extra points to eat out...sensibly, but with much less restraint than I had all week...unfortunately, I am finding that sort of mentality doesn't work with PP. Every day, I would try try try to only eat 29 points+...trying to save those extras for the weekends like I always did...but I went through the week thinking I had already failed because I didn't stick to the planned 29 on this day or that. It put me in a bad mindset....I gained weight...I am really, really trying hard now, realizing that it is OK if I eat 30 or 31 points a day and just subtract it from the 49 as I go along, rather than trying to save them all up. approach for me. I have heard simply filling is excellent, and I know many ppl that are successful with it. I don't think I am at the place where I am ready to try it yet...but someday.

    Good luck can do this!

  7. Oh boy do I ever have trigger foods! I stubbornly refused to admit they could get the better of me for too many years and would indulge now and then. Sometimes I'd get away with it without consequences, and others... Well, one bite started weeks/months of off-diet eating.

    I finally understand that I am not the ace dieter with a will of iron that I thought I was.

    Recently returned from vacation and today is the first day back on my diet and I'm having one hell of a time not giving in to the siren's song of my trigger foods. But so far so good. *sigh*

    Wish me luck! And luck back at you too, Debby! :)

  8. Perhaps trying to lose weight is a bit like climbing stairs to the top of a skyscrpaer. You toil away as you climb flight after flight. And then you have a 'cheat day' or whatever you call it. This is like taking the lift down several floors and then having to toil back up those flights all over again. Keep climbing Pixey - you'll get to the top.

  9. I heard a guy on a Dr OZ show encourage people to have a cheat day once a week. I could see how knowing that you could have a special meal one day a week would be a good idea as long as it didn't become an all day binge.

  10. Merry Christmas. I hope all is well in your part of Blogland.

  11. Hey girl...I'm back to reading blogs when I can. I can so relate to everything you just said....I always can relate to what you say....we're a lot alike. I am back doing WW. Not the simply filling like you are but I do like their new PP plan. I don't have a cheat day, but my WW meeting place is just down from a starbucks and I LOVE ME SOME IF and only IF I have enough weekly points left AFTER I weigh in...I get a starbucks white chocolate mocha. I count it, but it's like 13 or so points. So, that's my big indulgence. I have used a lot of weekly's this not sure I will get that lovely little treat monday night! Peace out girlie!

  12. Hello, I am new to your blog and weight watchers. I started a blog about my weight loss journey. I would love for you to check it out!