Veteran's Day

This is my nephew Patrick. The good looking guy on the left. He's on his second or third one year tour in Iraq. He flies a Black Hawk. When you hear on the TV news 'Black Hawk down', it could be him. It has been him. He's been shot down once. He obviously survived, his tail gunner was hit. Patrick is the same age as my oldest boy. They were babies together. They're not babies anymore.



These are Patrick's babies. He's missed 1 year of his oldest boy's life and is in the process of missing the second year in that boy's, and the first year in the next boy's life. It's just not fair is it?

My thoughts today are of him, of all the boys & girls over there.

I pray they come home safely, and soon.

I have things to send over to him. You'd think the damn post office would give you a break on postage for our soldiers wouldn't you? I'd send a box every week if I could afford it. I can't. Damn.

It's young boys like this that in the past have fought for the freedoms that we have in this country. It's young people like this that are over there now, losing their lives. They're not faceless, they're someones baby.

We owe them....we owe them a lot.

:-)

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!!!

Breaking news:

Pixie practiced moderation!!!!!

Holy shit it was so momentous it took me 2 days to write about it!

Saturday night, my friend and I went to my very favoritest Mexican restaurant. You can read about it here in Ian's blog. Margaritas for 99 cents on Saturday don't forget. This dinner was followed by game night where there would be about 20-30 people all bringing snacks.

I asked Ian if he'd share my favorite meal with me. I didn't want to try to find something healthy, I wanted a smaller amount of what I really love. I knew if I got the flauta meal that I love, I'd eat it all. No ifs ands or buts. The meal consists of two flour tortillas filled with the most mouth watering, perfectly seasoned, finely ground beef that has ever passed my lips. They're tenderly rolled and deep fried until a golden brown. They go on a plate and are lovingly covered with a yummy sauce and then smothered in cheese and popped under the broiler to meld the tastes together. They're surrounded by refried beans also topped with cheese of course, yellow rice, sour cream, and guacamole. The tortilla chips and salsa that precede this love fest of eating are home made, hot, crispy and delightful...a party in my mouth. Don't even get me started on the 99 cent margaritas!!!

Ian graciously agreed to share my meal with me. This was a big consession on his part as he'd have never chosen my meal. What a sweetie!

There were chips left in the basket at the end of the meal. That was a first. There were even some beans and rice left on the plate. That's a huge accomplishment...heck if nobody is looking, I've been known to lick the darn plate! I was satisfied. Oh, I could have eaten the other flauta and all the chips and more beans and rice for sure. I didn't. That is the first time in my life I've done that. Maybe this old dog isn't too old to learn new tricks???

I went to game night following that. The snacks that people brought consisted of pretty much everything I love. Cheese and crackers, pretzels and dip, homemade cookies, brownies, huge bags of miniature candy bars, you name it, if it was yummy, it was there. I circled the counter like a vulture looking for the plumpest rabbit before the game playing started. I didn't touch, I just looked. I took a deep breath and told myself that I could have some pretzels (fat free don't ya know), and ONE yummy. I waited until the very end, just before leaving when everyone was cleaning up to choose my yummy. I may be old, but I'm not stupid. I knew if I ate a brownie, a homemade cookie, a miniature candy bar earlier, I'd tell myself I could have one more. I chose a strawberry cookie. A round ball with coconut and other good stuff in it. It was chewy and took 4 bites to finish. Ahhhhh satisfaction and a huge sense of accomplishment all in one!

I tracked everything I ate that day. I 'only' used 40 points. Could have had more. Can have a treat today now if I want. How freakin cool is that????

I think I hear angels singing! HALLELUJAH!!!

Tomorrow is my WI. I can't wait for the results!

:-)

I love you guys!!

OMG you people are fantastic!

Here I am all fat and bloated and needing, but of course not wanting, to get back OP. Any idea how hard that is? Of course you do. You've probably been there. I mean really, who wants to HAVE to watch every morsel of food that goes into their mouth? I sure don't.

When I don't, I get fatter. Kind of simplistic, but that's the way it is. I apparently don't understand moderation or control. I only know eat right or not eat right. I'm going to try really hard to learn new tricks. You're helping.

I read blogs for motivation, but I'm not sure if any of you have any idea how much the comments you give here help me. A lot. I read that someone is in the same boat as me...wow I'm not the only one? I read someone else say 'you can do it'....wow maybe I can? Today someone said I motivated them....holy cow...really???? Someone else said they loved me, flabby skin and all....God how wonderful was that?? All the 'I'm with you's', and the 'you can do it's', and the 'get your fat ass in gear's' really help. Maybe not so much the 'get your fat ass in gear'.....those just kind of piss me off most times.

So, I have been OP for 3 whole days now. Today is day 4. Wow.

One day while out shopping, they had samples of pie in the bakery. Small little cups filled with pie. I ate one and enjoyed it tremendously. I didn't buy a whole pie and eat it. I think that was amazing. I didn't say 'oh I ate the pie, I might as well eat everything else that doesn't move today'. Nope, I ate the pie, counted a point for it, enjoyed it, and kept on with my day. I've never done that before.

I so want to learn how to do that in every aspect. I want to learn that I can go out for Mexican and not have it lead to a whole day of pigging out, or worse, a whole week. I want to go for Mexican tonight. I don't want healthy Mexican, I want flautas. I want to be totally OP the rest of the day. OMG if I can just learn to do this. I have to learn to do this. I don't thrive on deprivation. I'm having enough troubles with the rest of stuff in my life, I don't need it here!

Thank you for your support, your comments, your blog love. It means more than I can express.

I can do it with your help. I believe that.

With all my heart and soul.

:-)

Go!

Yep, today is the day. Pixie is back on program. Kicking and screaming all the way! It's going to be so freakin hard today. Why? Mind games only reason. I don't want the restrictions. I do want the feeling of putting healthy things in my body again though.

I feel like garbage from putting all that nasty junk in my body. If it was bad for me, it went in. If it was good for me, it didn't. We're talking weeks of abuse here. Weeks of no fruit, no veg, no milk products hardly. No whole grains, no exercise. Weeks of lots of sugar, grease (lots of oil, just none healthy!), salt, and sedentary behavior. Oh yes, alcohol....some of that too!

As I told you, WI would be ugly yesterday. Oh man was it. I was up 10.Godonlyknowswhat pounds. Can't remember what came after the . and since the number before the . was 10, does it really matter?

I've got a busy day today so I decided to read some blogs to get me motivated. Carlos is on a roll, kicking ass in the exercise dept and had a gain this week. That motivated me. Always thought it was only women that worked their ass off and gained. Hugs going out to Carlos, and motivation going into my mind. FD runs. Holy shit he RUNS in the rain no less! That motivated me too. What motivated me the most? Well, I rarely read the other comments that people leave on other blogs. Read all of mine over and over of course...I just don't read what others say on other blogs. Today, when I was commenting on FD's blog, I saw a comment and read it for some reason. I don't know this girl, but she motivated me more than anything else today. Actually she scared me and maybe that's what I need. What did she write? Here's a cut and paste.

Kimberley said...
When I lost 136 pounds I had a lot of loose skin but looked fine in clothes. Not too many people saw me out of them so it wasn't a concern for me.

When I regained 146 the skin miraculously filled back in.

Who knows how it will look when I get back down to where I want to be...but I think I will feel like I did the first time. Keep the clothes on and everybody is happy.


I read her first lines and I thought the same thing. I really hate my loose skin, but if it's packed in clothes, it's not too bad.

Then I read the next line....'when I regained the 146 pounds'. Holy shit, if it happened to her, it could happen to any of us, if we let it. We can't let it. I don't know who Kimberly is, but I sure want to hug her and tell her to keep up the great work of losing all that weight again. We've all lost weight and gained it back. It's no fun.

Yes, I was a bad girl and I gained. A lot. I see now that it could have been worse. I can focus on that positive during the next few weeks. Instead of beating myself up over being 20+ pounds heavier than I was a few months ago, I can think that at least it's only 20+ and not 100+ as it easily could have been. I can give myself woohoo's and props for getting back OP before that happened. Damn, I'm rockin it already eh??? Mind games, as I said. Tell yourself whatever you need to to keep on program.

I've come too far to let the fat win. It's definitely mind over matter. My mind has to be in the game.

C'mon mind, get your cells in gear!!!!

:-)

Get set....

Yep that's right. Today is T minus 24 and counting. OK, so technically it's T minus 17:19 and counting.

We're going shopping today. Nothing like retail therapy to help get a gals mind back in order.

Ya right, I'm not your typical female. I hate shopping. Unless it's for tools. Oh my God I could spend hours and hours in the tool section of Sears.

It's not tool shopping though. I need a new printer, the $120 pillows suck so I'm on a pillow quest again. Oh I do so love those. NOT! I need to go to Sam's to get some things to send my nephew in Iraq. His third tour...he deserves some love from home.

Shit I'm waffling already...see what happens when I try to post before my coffee???

OK...so today is the day I have to get my shit together as tomorrow is the day I get back on program.

WI is not going to be pretty today. I've never had a problem taking a gain that I've deserved. I ate it, I enjoyed it, I gained, what the hell did you expect? I just suck it up and get on with it. I'm not happy about it this time. Maybe I'll remember this next time I want to go on a 2 month binge eh???? I don't want to face the lady on the scale.

Today, along with all the shopping, we're hoping to go to the beach. I plan to use that time to lay and ponder. I shall let the sun soak into my body and rejuvinate me. I'll let the ocean water roll over me and carry all my negative stuff away. I'll come out all baptized in new on programedness hope. That's the problem with being a Pixie.... friggin fairies gang up and shoot sun beams up your ass if they think you need it. Makes you all sunshiney from the inside out and all poetic and full of hope and shit. I get them back though...I zap them with my 'I don't give a shit' wand. That really pisses the little assholes off.

Anyway, today I'm going to get my mind wrapped around being OP tomorrow. I'm going to have a meal plan. I'm going to get rid of the crap that's in the house.

Oh yes, I plan on moving my fat ass tomorrow too. God I hope it doesn't revolt!

Wish me luck. Send me strong vibes as I'm going to need them.

:-)

Sing it loud!!!

Wooooooooooohoooooooooooo!!!!!!

Nothing I could write today could top this man's news!!!!!

I'm so happy, excited, thrilled, proud of FD!!!! I thought I'd help him celebrate today!!!

More from me tomorrow, today is Fat Daddy's day to shine!!!

Shine on brother!!!!

:-)

On your mark

Yep, the first call every runner that is poised in her stance hears. I can just picture a taut runner, strong thighs, finger to the track, eyes forward, full of concentration waiting for the crack from the starting pistol.

That's me boys and girls.

Wednesday is 'D' day. No ifs, ands, or buts. I'm starting the preparation sequence today. Gearing myself up. Getting my mind in the game so to speak.

I'm catching up on my several diet related emails. I'm going to catch up on blogs if it kills me. I'm looking for new recipes. I'm thinking of things to prepare to keep me in the running for a full week. I'm thinking about exercising.

I believe the first start to a successful outcome is in the mind. Get your mind on the right track and everything else will follow. Believe it.

I believe it.

Do you?

:-)