Yep, today is the day. Pixie is back on program. Kicking and screaming all the way! It's going to be so freakin hard today. Why? Mind games only reason. I don't want the restrictions. I do want the feeling of putting healthy things in my body again though.
I feel like garbage from putting all that nasty junk in my body. If it was bad for me, it went in. If it was good for me, it didn't. We're talking weeks of abuse here. Weeks of no fruit, no veg, no milk products hardly. No whole grains, no exercise. Weeks of lots of sugar, grease (lots of oil, just none healthy!), salt, and sedentary behavior. Oh yes, alcohol....some of that too!
As I told you, WI would be ugly yesterday. Oh man was it. I was up 10.Godonlyknowswhat pounds. Can't remember what came after the . and since the number before the . was 10, does it really matter?
I've got a busy day today so I decided to read some blogs to get me motivated. Carlos is on a roll, kicking ass in the exercise dept and had a gain this week. That motivated me. Always thought it was only women that worked their ass off and gained. Hugs going out to Carlos, and motivation going into my mind. FD runs. Holy shit he RUNS in the rain no less! That motivated me too. What motivated me the most? Well, I rarely read the other comments that people leave on other blogs. Read all of mine over and over of course...I just don't read what others say on other blogs. Today, when I was commenting on FD's blog, I saw a comment and read it for some reason. I don't know this girl, but she motivated me more than anything else today. Actually she scared me and maybe that's what I need. What did she write? Here's a cut and paste.
When I lost 136 pounds I had a lot of loose skin but looked fine in clothes. Not too many people saw me out of them so it wasn't a concern for me.
When I regained 146 the skin miraculously filled back in.
Who knows how it will look when I get back down to where I want to be...but I think I will feel like I did the first time. Keep the clothes on and everybody is happy.
I read her first lines and I thought the same thing. I really hate my loose skin, but if it's packed in clothes, it's not too bad.
Then I read the next line....'when I regained the 146 pounds'. Holy shit, if it happened to her, it could happen to any of us, if we let it. We can't let it. I don't know who Kimberly is, but I sure want to hug her and tell her to keep up the great work of losing all that weight again. We've all lost weight and gained it back. It's no fun.
Yes, I was a bad girl and I gained. A lot. I see now that it could have been worse. I can focus on that positive during the next few weeks. Instead of beating myself up over being 20+ pounds heavier than I was a few months ago, I can think that at least it's only 20+ and not 100+ as it easily could have been. I can give myself woohoo's and props for getting back OP before that happened. Damn, I'm rockin it already eh??? Mind games, as I said. Tell yourself whatever you need to to keep on program.
I've come too far to let the fat win. It's definitely mind over matter. My mind has to be in the game.
C'mon mind, get your cells in gear!!!!
A wink and a smile
6 years ago