Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Yep, today is the day. Pixie is back on program. Kicking and screaming all the way! It's going to be so freakin hard today. Why? Mind games only reason. I don't want the restrictions. I do want the feeling of putting healthy things in my body again though.

I feel like garbage from putting all that nasty junk in my body. If it was bad for me, it went in. If it was good for me, it didn't. We're talking weeks of abuse here. Weeks of no fruit, no veg, no milk products hardly. No whole grains, no exercise. Weeks of lots of sugar, grease (lots of oil, just none healthy!), salt, and sedentary behavior. Oh yes, alcohol....some of that too!

As I told you, WI would be ugly yesterday. Oh man was it. I was up 10.Godonlyknowswhat pounds. Can't remember what came after the . and since the number before the . was 10, does it really matter?

I've got a busy day today so I decided to read some blogs to get me motivated. Carlos is on a roll, kicking ass in the exercise dept and had a gain this week. That motivated me. Always thought it was only women that worked their ass off and gained. Hugs going out to Carlos, and motivation going into my mind. FD runs. Holy shit he RUNS in the rain no less! That motivated me too. What motivated me the most? Well, I rarely read the other comments that people leave on other blogs. Read all of mine over and over of course...I just don't read what others say on other blogs. Today, when I was commenting on FD's blog, I saw a comment and read it for some reason. I don't know this girl, but she motivated me more than anything else today. Actually she scared me and maybe that's what I need. What did she write? Here's a cut and paste.

Kimberley said...
When I lost 136 pounds I had a lot of loose skin but looked fine in clothes. Not too many people saw me out of them so it wasn't a concern for me.

When I regained 146 the skin miraculously filled back in.

Who knows how it will look when I get back down to where I want to be...but I think I will feel like I did the first time. Keep the clothes on and everybody is happy.

I read her first lines and I thought the same thing. I really hate my loose skin, but if it's packed in clothes, it's not too bad.

Then I read the next line....'when I regained the 146 pounds'. Holy shit, if it happened to her, it could happen to any of us, if we let it. We can't let it. I don't know who Kimberly is, but I sure want to hug her and tell her to keep up the great work of losing all that weight again. We've all lost weight and gained it back. It's no fun.

Yes, I was a bad girl and I gained. A lot. I see now that it could have been worse. I can focus on that positive during the next few weeks. Instead of beating myself up over being 20+ pounds heavier than I was a few months ago, I can think that at least it's only 20+ and not 100+ as it easily could have been. I can give myself woohoo's and props for getting back OP before that happened. Damn, I'm rockin it already eh??? Mind games, as I said. Tell yourself whatever you need to to keep on program.

I've come too far to let the fat win. It's definitely mind over matter. My mind has to be in the game.

C'mon mind, get your cells in gear!!!!



  1. That is my biggest fear...gaining it all I work on not gaining it back every single day...and have asked everyone around me to give me a kick in the butt if hey notice I'm going the wrong way again...I do honestly think I will be okay at maintaining as I've also lost and gained in the past and this time the light bulb went off, I know what I have to do to maintain, and it takes as much work as losing does.

    I also have lose tummy is not looking good, all this wrinkled skin and if I do a boxing class or the elliptical I see the skin move on my arms...
    But clothing no one sees the I have to agree, unless you have lots and lots, then having it surgically removed would be the way to go.
    Am so pleased to read you gotten back on the WW wagon...

  2. i have lost 75 pounds and needed a break or i was goin to break so i got off my workout and diet for the last 4 days and gained 5 pounds but i read this and am inspired to start again i cant gain it all back i just cant

  3. Regaining every # I've lost is a huge fear of mine. Me? I'd rather have the loose skin than be fat ever again.

    I'm watching you! *doing the fingers to eyes to you thingy again*

    Shaking my pom-poms at you too! I would send you a pic, but Hubman might not appreciate that. hehehe

  4. You are back and thats sayin something! It could have been worse, and you know what to do! :) Glad to see your getting your mind back in the game!

  5. uuuuuugh I'm trying Debby! It's not workin so well...

  6. Love you like crazy glue, D. Loose skin and all. You're in good company you know. We could start a Loose Skin Club or something extra cool that everyone would be jealous of because our coolness would ooze all over the place (like our loose skin does!). lmao

  7. Oh my gosh why do we do this??? I am so glad to find you! I am in the exact situation except I have lost 50 ish pounds not the whopping amount you have lost. But I did lose 50lbs before and gained it all back plus another 30! I realized that at that point I kept thinking "don't gain it all back, don't gain it all back" over and over - it was a big fear and as they say with the law of attraction I now can't help think that I was attracting the weight back. Currently [ life has just been crazy for me and it is so easy to get off track! I am going to put my head down and get back on program with some sort of activity too even though I am sick. In the past when I was sick I still exercised and sometimes it would make me feel better - go figure! Debby you are inspiring and I am going to keep watching you! Thanks for sharing your journey! Kelly

  8. I'm new to your blog and just catching up. Stick with this Blog Community. We all keep our thumb on each other.

  9. out there? How's the reboot going. I have been a bit awol, but I have been thinking about you Pixie.

  10. i need to get my head back in the game. its a good part of the game.

    time for my cells to get into gear! this post is definitely motivational! what a comment to read, indeed.