Sunday, November 29, 2009

I think I'd like to be a banana

Are you an apple or a pear?

I'm sure all of you have read countless articles about what shape your body is in. Apple shapes tend to do this and suffer from that. Pear shapes have this problem and that health concern.

I always assumed I was an apple...I was fat all over, what the heck else could I be?

I also always planned on having a tummy tuck when I lost all the weight I wanted to lose. I mean really, I've got 50 years of excess skin here folks! I also planned on having a breast lift or whatever you call a boob job. I wanted perky boobies. I've been fat since I was 6 years boobies have never been perky! Of course I wanted my arms done too. All my life I've never been able to wear sleeveless shirts. I'd love to wear little cap sleeves or something similar. I've got more arm skin and fat swinging there than a Chinese trapeze act! You'll notice that's all in the past tense.

I have a girlfriend who is definitely a pear. She had gastric bypass surgery and lost a ton of weight. She then had a tummy tuck. I talked to her on the phone and she was so excited as she could see her feet while standing for the first time in ages. Several weeks later, we got together. I was actually shocked by what I saw. I didn't notice her flat belly at all. I noticed her huge rear end and thighs. She looked like she was wearing those pants that a circus ring leader wears. I'm not being catty here, just stating the facts. She's since gained back a lot of her weight which is sad.

I noticed the other day while standing naked in front of the mirror looking for signs of skin cancer on my back (as you do), that I'm a pear! All my life I thought I was an apple. Nope, I'm a pear. My ass is as big as Texas and my thighs could make fire on Survivor if they rubbed together. I've got a waist which I never had before and am not sure when it appeared, but it did. Who knew?

So, what does this fruity epiphany mean to me?

It means that I probably won't get a tummy tuck unless my hiney and thighs get a lot smaller. I don't want to look like a circus freak.

It means I changed my mind on the boob job when I read how they do it. When something begins with 'we remove the nipple and set it aside', I tend to think 'um no way Jose!!' I'll find a killer bra that makes the girls look fantabulous!

It means I'd still like my arms done. That would be something that would let me wear cute tops that would hide the other body flaws. It's a win win I think!

It means I think I'd like to be a banana. Kind of equal all the way down! No big middle, no big hiney, just nice and smooth all the way from top to bottom. I can't be a banana though, so I'll just be happy being the pear I am.

Pears are sweet and soft and they're nice to nibble.

Be happy with the skin you're in. That's what I'm going to do.



  1. I'm an apple, get fat all over...spreads itself equally and I lose it all over..I have to do lots of cardio for my body shape so do and see it works for me.

    I wouldn't have my arms done, the scars are so visible when wearing sleeveless tops...long scar. I'd rather do the boobs...many members of my family had breast reduction ( me included ) my sisters are small girls with HUGE boobs, as we're a family of dancers it just didnt off came the boobs...the op is over before you know it. very little scaring and not much pain...

  2. Pear girls gotta stick together! For the first time in my life my thighs have a space between them. lol The funny thing about that- My brother noticed it! lol He kept staring at my whole body actually. Mentioning each body part that looks different. My arms were the size of thighs on a teen. lol It was nice to hear him tell me I look better....just cant believe it took me so long to do it!

  3. Great attitude girl! I think if we could all be happy with the skin we're in...we probably wouldn't have the problems with weight that we currently do have.

  4. i am a pear. all big around the middle.

    but im sold on the banana idea, missus!