OK all, here's the skinny.
Well, not so skinny. I'm fat! Who knew? My clothes for one. NONE of them fit. Oh yes, I feel so comfortable going out and about in clothes that are too tight.
I'm going back to Weight Watchers meetings starting Wednesday.
I got my work schedule for this week and I'm off Wed and Thursday...convenient as that's when the meetings are eh?
I should be able to do it on my own. I know the program inside out. I've been attending since 1977. The one thing I have learned, is I just am not accountable to myself. That is something I shall work on. It's obviously a blip in my brain sensor somewhere that needs a bit of solder. I've tried to short circuit it with Oreo's and potato chips, but that didn't work!
I hear over and over again that we need to learn why we eat. Why we do the things we do. I don't know. Do you? I mean really, do many of us know WHY we stuff food into our faces? I'm amazed when Jillian Michaels seems to figure it out in a week on her show...maybe she needs to come visit me.
I try to simplify it. Just say that I'm an instant gratification type of girl. I want what I want, when I want it. Nah, it's got to be something more. I just honestly have NO idea what.
I don't eat until I'm sick like I've heard others do.
I don't eat in private, in fact, quite the opposite. I don't give a rats ass who sees me eat a whole pizza...nope, bring on the crowds.
I don't eat, then purge. No, I've NEVER been a purger. I'm selfish. I ate it, it's mine to keep!!!
Do I eat when I'm not really hungry? Yes I do. Why? I don't know.
Do I eat 12 cookies instead of 1? Yes I do. Why? Because they taste good and I like them.
Do I eat a whole bag of potato chips at one sitting? Yes I do. Why? Because I like them and I can.
When I'm eating, if something doesn't taste good, I quit. As soon as the chips don't taste as good as they did, I quit. I then, however, move on to something else. I need to learn to just QUIT!
It's the same with my meals. If I'm eating and it doesn't taste good. I quit. I'll wait until something tastes better. I don't like veg...so I'll try them, they of course suck, so I don't eat them. Ya, I know....I'm a 2 year old. What can I say?
I don't mind being hungry. On the contrary, I like the feeling. So, WTF is wrong with me? Wait, don't answer that!
So, I'm going back to my WW meeting. I'm going to attempt to lose the 40 freaking pounds I gained...along the way I'm going to really pay attention and learn. Learn what you say? Well, even if you didn't, here's what I want to learn.
1. One or two cookies is enough.
2. One slice of peanut butter cake is enough.
3. One lemon bar is enough.
4. One small bowl of potato chips, or any other salty snack is enough.
5. If I'm not hungry, don't eat.
6. I want to learn moderation. I want to know I can eat 'real food' with real people in moderation. One meal. One day. Not 37 meals for 3 months.
7. I want to have a glass of wine for dinner if I want and learn to cut back somewhere else to accommodate that.
8. I want to learn to eat normal.
9. Moderation, moderation, moderation.
10. Did I mention Moderation???
That's all peeps. A Pixie has to do what a Pixie has to do. I need the support of my WW meetings...and all of you of course!
A wink and a smile
5 years ago