Thursday, July 8, 2010

Listing to one side

I'm a list maker.

Yep, I'm one of those people that loves lists. I'll start out with a long list of tasks, and cross them off one by one when completed. If I do something that isn't on the list, I'll add it to the list so I can cross it off. Ya, I know, but honestly, that's the least of my psychotic foibles!!! The left shoe must always go on first...OK, not going to start down THAT list right now!

I get daily emails from some weight loss gurus. Denise Austin is one. She can be irritating to watch with that smile and bubbly personality....but you have to admit, she's got a bod on her AND she's not a teenager either. Today she talked about small steps and lists. Actually, the topic was 'Rethink your habits one step at a time'. Yes, we've all heard that shit before. Have you ever done it? I really never have I don't think. I've never made a list of everything about my health I want to change. I haven't rethunk my habits.

You see, right now I'm a bit overwhelmed. Everything is wrong again. I don't mean I just started eating sweets...I mean I quit everything. So, the thought of 'getting back on the wagon', just about brings me to my knees. Kind of like I'm not too sure where to begin. I get up in the morning and think OK, let's start. Then I think....where the hell DO I start?????

I'm a big fan of movies. Love my

Let's start at the very beginning. It's a very good place to start. (c'mon sing with me!) When you read you begin with A-B-C......

I'm going to make a list (ohhhh a spreadsheet! I love spreadsheets almost as much as lists! Ya, I know, I'm an F'd up girl!) and start crossing things off one by one. They say that if you do something for 3 weeks, it becomes a habit. Now, I'm not going to take 3 weeks on each thing....but if I do one thing today, that's one more thing than I did yesterday. Tomorrow, if I do that one thing again, maybe I'll try a second thing....always keeping up with the first thing.

Kind of like keeping those plates twirling on the pole. When one falls, it seems they all tumble down...I need to learn that when one plate falls, it doesn't mean I need to sit in the shards. It means I need to whip another plate on that pole and keep twirling.

If one day I don't do one thing, that's no reason not to do all the rest. Capish?

OK, so here's my list, in no particular order mind you. Do you have a list? Have you ever made a list? I highly recommend it.

1. Drink some freaking water. I drink NONE right now. I want to drink 8 cups a day. Holy shit that's a half gallon. OK, breathe. I can do this. One cup at a time. One day at a time.

2. Eat some damn fruit and veg. I'd like to eat a minimum of 2 fruits and 4 veg a day. Right now? Ya, that's right, I eat none. Unless it's fried. I like fried.

3. Quit eating the freaking fried shit. Period.

4. Eat whole grain only. No white rice. No white bread. No pasta that isn't whole grain. Not so hard with all the options today.

5. Cut out the cow. Not totally, just learn to incorporate the fish and the chicken. I eat 0 fish. Zip, nada, zilch. Pretty much same with chicken. If I eat meat, I go bovine. Stop that shit!

6a. Quit the mindless eating. I eat dinner, an hour later I'm hungry again. Bullshit. No way I can be truly hungry and hour after I ate. It's in my head.

6b. If I eat my 3 meals and a snack or two, and those meals and snacks are healthy and substantial, that should do me. I can't eat a slice of toast and a tomato for lunch and expect it to sustain me. C'mon girlfriend...get a clue! Food groups beotch...learn them. Use them.

7. Quit giving in to the sweet craving. I have NO F'ing idea where this came from. I've never been a sweet eater. I like my salt. Now, I actually get cravings for sweets that are like an addicts cravings for drugs. I want it and I want it now! I get all jittery inside thinking about it. Will one satisfy? Hell no. I make a pan of brownies and I chip away at them until I eat the whole frigging pan. Oh don't doubt me here. It's true.

8. Butter is not my friend.

9. Move my fat ass. In a mindful manner. The days I work, I work. My job is physical. On my feet. I walk about 3-5 miles during the course of my shift. I lift, I move. I work 2 days a week. The other 5 I sit on my fat ass and do nothing exercise wise. So, those days "I want to move it move it" (told you I loved my movies!).

10. Dairy. Embrace the lactose. I like it. Do I drink it? Nope. Do I eat my yogurt? Nope. Why the hell not??? Who the hell knows!!!! Goal? Three a day.

I think 10 is a good place to start.

So, which one am I going to choose for today? Hmmmm I dunno yet. The choice is mine to be made and it will be made. I'll let you know tomorrow.

ADDENDUM: OMG ppl...really? This post wasn't up 5 minutes before I got an email from someone telling me I was a lazy bitch and this was a cop out. More exucses to not get started. You have got to freaking be kidding me! Is this not a journey? Is this supposed to be some miraculous instant change? I think not! I'm glad that 'you' (insert email person here) have your poop in a group...I don't. I bet other people out there don't either. Some of us are still trying to figure it out. Cut us some fucking slack!

OK, NOW I'm done!



  1. Oh my gosh, you are soooo funny! I feel the same way often times. I'm trying to get back on track. Love your pictures.

  2. heavens you having a hard time at the moment, wish I lived closer to you to get you going again, I'm a good bootcamp dill Sargent major!!

  3. You can do it, I'm like you, I do a lot of lists too :) My list is pretty small. Drink a 16 oz bottle of water for every 12 oz can of diet soda (you'd be surprised how much soda I cut out of my day by doing that), eat no more than 1600 calories per day, and exercise at least 3 times a week. I write it at the top of my "to do list" for each day and mark it off as needed :)

  4. I love lists and spreadsheets and yours looks great. In fact I may snatch some of the items for my *own* list I need to start making!
    and RE:your addendum---WTF??? I cannot imagine someone firing off an email to tell you you're lazy and just copping out...NOBODY has their poop in a group 100% of the time and just when they get cocky enough to think they do and to insult others--pppffftttt!! It scatters like dust in the wind :-D

  5. I have been where you are. Reading your blog sounds like reading my diary. I just had vertical sleeve gastrectomy in May. I am advocating that anyone have weight loss surgery, just pointing out that I had to have it. So I know how you feel, I have been fat all my life and one of the most compassionate things anyone ever said to me was one of the surgeons told me there is a reason we lose and regain so easily. Our body gets used to being obese and when we lose weight, our hunger & craving hormones kick into overdrive and make us even more hungry and crave more food. I truly believe that from years of losing and regaining 50-100lb. I read your blog all the time and I am rooting for you. Make all the lists you need, whatever it takes. You are a strong woman and you will succeed!!! Melissa

  6. Melissa.....thank you so much! You didn't have an email address so I couldn't write you back. Good luck with your weight loss after your surgury. My email is write anytime!

  7. I too am a list maker. You can do this and it just takes that first step, keep building on it and soon you will have success.

  8. oh i LOVe you.and i just stumbled across your! you have accomplished miraculous things..and good lord...who can be perfect every day every moment..if they think they can....they are delusional! they can stuff it where the sun don't shine..and obviously they didn't bother to see how much you have lost so far..what an idiot! Just reading your list post..i know i am going to like you! and wow you look freakin fantastic at 50! i would have never guessed it! I love lists too..and never thought of using a list for my weight loss...hhhmmm i am liking that idea...I hate how i get going and work out 5 days in one week..get going on the next and life starts happening..and it all falls apart..i need tactics to deal with that....hhmmm well reading blogs like yours helps motivate me..and also makes me feel human and not nice to meet you!


  9. Angela, glad to meet you! Thank you for all the lovely words! I usually reply in emails but you didn't have yours listed. :-(