Yep, so I'm the new girl.
Went back to Weight Watchers last night. To a meeting where nobody knew me. Didn't give my 'secret' away. Felt awesome.
I've gained 40ish pounds. Fuck me sideways.
Left the meeting all invigorated. Went to bed in doubt about today. Why?
Simple. Let me give you a little glimpse into my mind. Hold someones hand, it's a scary place.
Left the meeting fired up.
Went to the store after dinner to get a few essentials for today as TBM has to work at 9:30 and I don't want to keep the truck. Still fired up.
Got home, played on the computer, still fired up.
Thought pops into my head. There's a half a loaf of Portuguese bread in the drawer and butter in the fridge. Maybe I should wait one more day to begin the diet. You know, eat that. It's really good and was expensive, don't want to waste it. Not fair to feed it to TBM as he needs to lose a C note or two. Not so fired up now....
TBM is in the kitchen setting the coffee pot for morning...he springs out into the apartment and says to me "Did you know there's a bag of potato chips in the pantry?! Wavy chips! They're wavy chips! Did you know this?" Um, no, but I do now asshat. Thank you very much. NOW all I can think about are those F'ing wavy Lays in the pantry. Definitely not so fired up now.
Much easier to just take one more day off...plan a menu today...get organized for tomorrow.
OMG do you see the horrors of my mind??? WHY does my mind work like that. Do any of your minds work like that? I can't possibly be the only F'd up person in the weight loss world am I???
At this exact moment. I can't honestly tell you that it's going to be OK. I'm fighting myself. I'm like a drug addict with food.
I'm not sure who's winning.
Ya, they don't all end upbeat!
A wink and a smile
5 years ago