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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Sink or swim

I can drown in self pity or I can jump in and swim like a bitch!

A few weeks ago I had a hard lesson. I told you I'd blog about it 'later'. Well, it's later.

The second week of my SFT(simply filling technique)experiment I hit a snag. I went to work for 10 minutes and it turned into 9 hours. I hadn't planned my meals for the day or done any prep as I was coming right home from that 10 minutes to do all that. Around 2PM I shot home on my golf cart to grab something to eat at my desk. Anything. Well, as I hadn't prepared, the choices were slim. There was left over pizza staring at me and I grabbed it. I didn't find out until later on it was 10 points plus! On the SFT I get 49 points plus a week to use so I like to break them up and use under 7 a day so I have a few left for a nice treat at the end of the week. Pizza used to be 6 points. It went up and I didn't know it. I had a glass of wine with dinner to celebrate my fantastic day of work. That went up in points also! All in all, I used 20 points plus that day. I hated it.

I woke up the next day and felt so limited. I couldn't move past the feeling of deprivation I now felt. Many days I use 0 points plus and that's fine as it's my choice. This day I felt like I was forced to do that. And the day after. And the day after. God I felt like it was the end of the world and for the first time ever I felt guilt over eating something!

I was talking to my DIL who was in the hospital after having my 5th grandchild. Bree was born 6 weeks early so of course was experiencing some difficulty. DIL was feeling guilty. Hmmm who else did I know that was feeling guilt? Being the quiet retiring MIL that I am, (OMG I CHOKED THERE!), I gave my two cents worth. You can't go back. You can't undo what's done. You just have to think about the now. Focus on what you can do now. BLINK BLINK BLINK! That was the light bulb going off above my head.

In my mind I'd screwed up my eating plan. So, what could I do about it? I couldn't un eat the food...hmmmmmm oh I know! What if I got off my lazy ass and did some exercise? What if I went out and moved this sedentary mountain and earned some AP(activity points) points plus??? What a concept!

I got dressed and got on my bike and peddled my fat ass enough to earn 2PP. Came home and got my suit on and headed to the pool and earned some more. Wow! It is possible to right a wrong! I didn't intend to eat any of those points, but man did it do my psyche good to know they were there!!! My whole mindset changed. I took control.

I focused on what I could do and not what I did!

Oh ya baby, I may be old, but I'm learning every day. I had a loss that week. A good one.

This week at WI I changed days. I went from a Tuesday morning meeting to a Monday night meeting. You always weigh more at night. I knew if the scale showed a gain, it wouldn't really be a gain. I was praying for even a .2 loss as I'd had 4 losses in a row and I really need to keep my momentum up.

I took a deep breath and got on the scales.

DOWN BABY DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was pumped!

5 weeks in a row my friends. 5 weeks in a row!!!!!! DID I MENTION FIVE FIVE FIVE WHOLE WEEKS IN A ROW????? A ROW PEOPLE!!!!!!! That's consecutive!!!

This old broad is swimming along.

One stroke at a time.

C'mon in....the water is fine!

Peace be the journey

:-)

4 comments:

  1. Woo hoo! Great job. Keep it up! :)

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  2. God I love you and how well you write your thoughts.... you truly are an inspiration... I figured it out if I lost 1.5 a week for a year I would be I would be 78 pounds lighter... 1.5 that's not so bad right.........now if I could stop filling my face and start moving this lard ass........

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  3. Glad the light turned on! Good for you....woohoo!

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  4. OH I LOVE THIS.

    Im stealing.

    Today I shall swim like a badassbitch :)

    thank you.

    ReplyDelete