Angel in disguise

Just so you all know, my personal trainer really is a sweetie. She's really not Zuul. I told her today I called her Zuul at home. Sighhhhh she's so young she didn't get my Ghost Buster's reference. I splained it to her though.

That being said. She kicked my ass again today. I could never be on the Biggest Loser as during one of the things she made me do today, I nearly cried. If I were on BL I'd be snotting and bawling all over the place for sure.

We started with squats. Of course 'we' had a heavy pole on our shoulders. We thought we were going to die as 'we've' never done a squat in our life! OK, enough of this 'we' stuff...it's all about ME!!! My thighs are on fire I tell ya!

We did some other stuff, then she decided it was time to work on my abs. Again, I don't know that I actually have an ab...but she wanted to work it anyway. So off to this board we go. I get to lay down on the board with all the blood rushing to my head. Did I mention this board was on an angle? Well, it is. So now I have to put my knees over one set of rubber rollers and my legs under the other one. I get to cross my hands over my chest. I thought this appropriate as I'm pretty sure I'm going to die so I might as well assume the pose first. I now get to raise my fat self up off this board and lower back down, hence, working my abs. Um OK that hurt. A lot. It hurt my hips. She didn't understand this. I told her it was because my thighs are so fat they just don't go that close together. She laughed. I had to convince her I wasn't kidding. So we went to plan B. Oh God help me! Plan B was the 'elbow bridge plank'. In case you don't know what that is, this will show you. I managed to get myself up and then she said we were going to hold it for 30 seconds! Again with this 'we' shit! My arms trembled, sweat literally poured off my forehead. I think I broke a blood vessel in my brain. I slumped back to the mat with relief when it was over. I was of course informed I was going to do this 2 more times!!!! I've never done anything so hard in my life. Never. Childbirth was easier. I am so freaking out of shape. This is when Zuul gave me what I needed. She wasn't tough, she was encouraging. She told me how good I was doing, how strong I was. A line of bullshit? Yep, but it's what I needed to hear. It got me back up off that mat for the 3rd and final time. I held my plank pose until I couldn't hold it no mo.

Thank the Lord for all that is good. From the plank, I got to go get on the elliptical for 25 minutes. Did I sweat? Hell yes. Was it hard? Hell yes. Did I get my heart rate up and breath hard? Hell yes. Would I do 3 hours on that elliptical rather than 10 seconds more of a plank? OH HELL YES!!!

So, I lived through another day at the gym. I have such huge respect for the working people that are trying to lose weight and exercise. I just don't know how you do it. Right now this is my job. It's all consuming. It seems I don't have time for anything else other than meal planning, meal eating, gym, 10,000 steps, yada, yada, yada. I can't imagine how I'll fit it all in when I get back to Michigan and work an 8 hour day! Ah well, one day at a time!

Get off of my cloud

I want to revel in my 2.4 pound loss this week.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme more! Yes, I know it may be a one hit wonder, but it feels so damn good. I've felt this a few times over the last month only to have my hopes dashed against the rocks the next week when I show a gain. I'm hoping with the help and input of my trainer, I might finally be doing the Loco-Motion. I've felt All Shook Up, I've felt Joy To The World. I've tried not to think One Bad Apple might spoil my whole weight loss effort. I want to feel Good Vibrations and not have that darn scale say Go Away Little Girl. There's been no Hanky Panky and I am a Hard Headed Woman so I hope that's enough to grant me the Satisfaction to get me to Paradise. I've been a Wild Thing at the gym. I deserve to be that Pretty Woman. It's My Party boys and girls and I'm A Believer. Right now there Ain't No Mountain High Enough to stop me. I'm staying away from the Sugar Shack for sure. Gypsy's Tramps & Theives won't get in my way.

I'm Do Wah Diddy Diddy done now.

So, what's on your play list?

Who ya gonna call?

Ghost Busters you bet your ass!!!

Why? You might ask. It would be a valid question. Let me tell you.

As you may remember, today was day number 2 with (the bitch from hell) my personal trainer. My good friend Clair calls her Zuul. I thought it appropriate. I'm positive when my eyes are shut in pain, or blinded by sweat, her eyes glow red. She had her hair up in a top knot today...I'm sure it was to hide the horns. I'm thinking she's really Gozer, the Destructor. I know exactly where I'd point one of those nifty packs the Ghost Buster's carried for sure!

Anyhooooo I arrived at the gym right on time. Don't want to piss her off you know. She looked over my food journal and declared it OK. Of course it's OK! I know more about nutrition than most nutritionists for goodness sakes. She said 'let's get started'. I hopefully said 'we're going to work different muscles today aren't we?" She said 'a few'. Oh God have mercy on my soul. I whimpered 'we're not going to begin with push ups are we?'. 'Oh no' she said. 'Whew' I replied. I swear she grinned with glee when she said 'we're going to start with pull ups'! WTF???? You want me to pull THIS up???? Helloooooo I need a crane for that!!!! So I did 12 pull ups.

She took me from there over to a machine that was to work my....arms I'm guessing? I had to sit down, put my foot on a bar to pull the arm pads forward. Reach up with elbows bent, boobs thrust forward, and grasp the bars. I looked like someone was standing behind me with a gun saying 'stick 'em up!'. It hurt already and I hadn't done anything yet. She said 'OK, now bring your arms together'. OK , I thought. Nothing happened. I tried again. I willed my arms to come together. So simple really. Just push those pads until they touch. Nope, nothing happened. I couldn't budge those bitches. She had no pity. 'C'mon, you can do it.' Um, no, I can't. So I did 12 of those.

Went back and did 12 more pull ups.

Went back and did 12 more of the funky chicken things. Not very well, I have no upper arm strength at all it seems.

Yawn, 12 more pull ups.

Somehow I did 12 more of those arm things. It was so very hard and I didn't do it well. I did do it though.

Oh now let's work the legs shall we? Sit on this machine, lift the bar. Sounds easy. Wasn't. Bar was in front of my leg. I had to push it up and then guide it down. I'm sure she had 100 pounds on it. I of course did 12.

Oh now let's lay on the floor in this machine shall we? Lift our legs into the air and place our feet on this platform. It's going to work my hamstrings. Push the fucking heavy thing way up...then lower your legs to your chest. Excuse me? Did you say lower my thighs to my chest? Helloooooooo if I could do that I wouldn't be here. So I did that 12 times.

Now move your feet to a different position. This is going to work my inner thighs. Push the platform. Do it 12 times. Did your thighs touch your chest? Do it again if not. Hell my thighs touched my chest when my feet were up in the air. I was covered there!

Went to a platform where I stood on my tippy toes and then lowered my heels way below the platform. OK, I like that one. I can do it and I can do it good. 12 if you please.

Repeat those things 2 more times. Three is the magic number after all. Do you know how hard it is not to fart when you're lowering your thighs to your chest? Note to self. No Fiber One bars before gym day!

I was never so happy to hear Gozer, I mean Aime, say 'OK, let's go do your cardio'!!! I'm comfortable with that. I sweat, I breath hard, but I can do it and I can do it good. We upped the resistance today and of course increased the time by 5 minutes.

Bring it on bitch. I can take whatever you dole out!!!

I don't hurt tonight.

I did what she wanted me to do.

I've had a perfect eating OP week.

That fucking scale better reflect my work tomorrow.

I have muscles THERE???

OMG...it hurts to type. Yes, I'm not lying or exaggerating. Whatever muscles are directly above my boobs hurt like hell. I can feel the strain just typing.

Did I mention today was my first day with the devil incarnate, I mean my personal trainer? Well, it was.

I've been doing really well with the aerobic exercise. I thought it was time to add strength training. I haven't a clue what to do, how much to do, hence the personal trainer.

I arrived at 10:05AM for my 10:15AM session. I was excited. I was going to learn stuff. OMG how naive could I have been?

We headed out to the gym floor and Aime (devil) said 'we'll start with push ups'. Um? Excuse me, I said? I thought you said push ups. So, we did push ups. Now I'm 50 years old and I can honestly say I've never done a push up. I did try a week or so ago. Silverback can attest to that. We were on the floor of the lanai trying to do push ups. He succeeded, I did not. Aime had me lean against a bar that was attached to some other instrument of torture that held a lot of weights. That bar was about 4 foot off the floor I guess. She had me stretch my legs way out behind me and then she said 'lower yourself to the bar'. With trembling arms I lowered myself to the bar. Were we done? Oh no we were not. "Now push yourself up'. I did it. I was OK with that and then the devil said 'we're going to do 12 of these'. Holy shit I thought I was going to faint! I did about 4 before the sweat beads started to pop. By the time I hit 7 even my legs were complaining. I did complete 12 though! I stood up and fully expected praise, or at the very least, a cookie or something as a reward! What did I get? 'Come on over here and we're going to do some bicep curls.

Oh that was a joy. She grabbed 2 weights off the rack and showed me how to do them. Looked easy enough. She handed me the weights and I think my arms lengthened a foot or so. They felt like 50 pounds each. I asked how heavy they were. 8 pounds she said. I think she was a lying bitch. I know they weighed at least 30 pounds by the time I finished 12 curls.

Now the evil one grabbed what I thought was a broom stick. She asked if I'd ever gone canoeing. I said yes. She said 'we're just going to paddle our canoe'. OK, what's this 'our' shit Kemo Sabe? I'm doing all the work and you're watching me. So what if you're pregnant, you should at least be doing part of these for me! She showed me how to paddle and then handed me the broom stick. Broomstick my fat ass. It was a 15 pound pole! I told her that would sink my canoe. She didn't think it was funny. She of course counted to 12. I could hear things in my shoulder crunch. She actually leaned in and heard it too. Did I get to quit? Nope.

Now we moved over to a machine to work my legs. Oh that sounded nice. I get to sit down, the machine will do the work right? Um, not so much. I had a difficult time getting my feet under the bars they were supposed to go under. I thought that was the exercise! Oh I wish. Raise your leg she says. I do. No, really, she says...raise your legs! So now I have to make like a frigging Rockette with 40 pound bags of QuickCrete strapped to her legs! I have to go slow on the way down. No use only feeling pain on the way up right? The magic number was of course 12. I did them.

I hobbled off that machine thrilled that we were done. She'd said those were the only things we were going to do. I was thinking naps, snacks, Jacuzzis. She said OK, let's start back at the beginning. We're going to do 3 sets of all these. WTF??? I swear her eyes glowed red when she said it. I know there was an evil cackle just waiting to spill forth when I was panting too hard to hear it. Around the circuit I went again. Twice more to be exact. I hurt in places I didn't even know I had. At one point she said 'Think of the Biggest Loser'. I stopped what I was doing and said 'This is why I WATCH the Biggest Loser and I'm not ON it!!! I finished that last push up knowing I was really done this time. I was sweating. I was trembling. My legs felt like rubber. I was waiting for my pat on the head. I got it. She did say I did excellent.

Then the evil one said 'OK now we'll work on cardio'!!!!! She put me on the elliptical, set the difficulty to 5, whatever the hell that means. She made sure I was working at 85% of my...hell I don't know, something or other to do with my heart. Told me to do 20 minutes and she'd see me Monday. She left me there to die! I know she did.

I didn't die. I will be there on Monday. I did everything she gave me to do. I'm really proud of myself. I didn't think I could do it and I did.

Someone lost 4 pounds 11 ounces

Nope, wasn't me.

I'm a Grammy again!!! My daughter in law lost 4 pounds 11 ounces this morning and brought forth Paige Abigail Braman. Seventeen inches of lovely granddaughter.

Mama and baby seem to be doing well. Baby is not on any outside support system. Not bad for 5 weeks early I'd say! Hopefully pics to follow.

Grammy Braman is thankful and excited. I want to be there to hold her in my arms.

I'm off to the gym to celebrate!!!!!!

Third time is a charm

Today is the first day of my 3rd challenge to myself. I'll get it right or die trying! I'm changing it from a 30 day challenge, to a 28 day one. Fits in better with WI's and knowing how things are working I think.

What little goodies have I come up with for my next challenge? Well settle down with your Oreo's and milk and I'll tell you. Wait, rewind. Settle down with your carrot sticks, sugar free Jell-O, and flavored water. I still go with the old adage of 'if it's not broke, don't fix it'. So, what has worked really well in the last 2 challenges, I shall keep. What new thing shall I add for this month? Hmmmmmmmm let me think.

Last week was my first week of using my Flex points the way they were meant to be used. I spread them out over the week instead of using them all in one day with a no rules day. I stayed the same this week at my WI. That was very disappointing as I'm working so hard, but it's going to take more research to find out what the block is. I don't think it's the diet, I think it's the exercise. So, I'm going to make one of my challenges to stay totally OP for 28 days. That means no 'no rules' days in that month. This will definitely be a first!

Not eating in my recliner has been a challenge, but I think it's a beneficial thing for me. So, I'll keep it for the next month.

Exercise. This is where I'm a bit wishy washy. I doubled my exercise for the last 30 days. I did a minimum of 60 minutes a day for 6 days a week. I don't know how much exercise I should be doing. Is that too much? Is it not enough? Is it sustainable? I don't think it will be when I get home.

I stopped at the fitness center at the hospital yesterday on my way home from my meeting. I want to start incorporating strength training in my exercise routine. No, I don't want to bulk up, but I do want my body to work efficiently. I've done a lot of reading about building strength, and yes, muscle, and it's all good. We've got machines here at the park in the gym, but I don't know the proper form or even how long to use the machines. I've asked several of the people that do use them, and get all different answers. If I'm going to do this, I want to do it right. So, I've made the huge decision to join the fitness center for 2 months. It's a lot of money that I don't really have, I can't argue that. Yes, I could flounder around and figure it out on my own. Ultimately, what I want is to be an efficient, fat burning, heart healthy, machine. I don't mind working hard. I mind working hard and having it not be what is right for my body. Just in the few minutes talking to the trainer yesterday, I got the impression that I'm doing too much. That might not be worded correctly, but I think I could be exercising too hard for too long a time in the wrong percentage of heart rate. Obviously I'm doing something wrong as you can't monitor your diet as much as I am, AND work as hard at the gym as I am and still either gain weight or stay the same. NO, that sucks and is NOT acceptable. So, I'm going to learn the right way to do it. I'll know if it's the right way at the end of the next 28 days if the scale budges. So, to make a long story longer, my exercise part of the challenge for right now is to do a minimum of 30 minutes of aerobic activity 3 days a week and to do strength training 3 days a week. I'm joining the gym tomorrow, and have my first session on Friday. If she says I should be doing more or less, I'll alter my challenge then.

1. Stay OP for 28 days straight.

2. Do Not eat in my recliner.

3. Exercise aerobically a minimum of 30 minutes 3 times a week. Strength train 2-3 times a week.

I think this is enough for the next 28 days for now.

If it doesn't kill me it'll make me stronger right?

Two days left

Tomorrow and Tuesday and that's the end of my 2nd 30 day challenge. I've rocked it too! I'll have to start working on my next one!

Today at the gym I did my first mile in 15.48, my second mile came at 31.17. I got all excited at my 3rd mile....shoved my fist into the air and hollered 'F me sideways'. Please feel free to use your imagination on what the 'F' stood for. I quickly looked around to make sure I was alone in the gym. I was. I now, however, can't remember the time I hit mile 3 at! I finished my hour with 3.80 on Clyde. A new record for me I think. Got Bonnie hopping today too. Ya, it's going fabulous.

I had a wonderful dinner last night using some of my flex points. I used some more today. This is the first time I've spread them out over the week. I like it. I'll be doing it again for sure.

60 days of being OP will be a record for me. A HUGE record. Makes me want to go for 90!

I think I shall.