A wink and a smile
13 years ago
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The post with no name
I have no idea where to begin here. Lots and lots of things running through my mind. That is a dangerous thing!!
I've got a peanut butter cake cooling on the counter to take to work tomorrow. I plan to eat a lot of it.
A girl I work with brought no bake cookies to work today. I ate a lot of them.
They had my favorite pizza on the pizza buffet on Monday. I ate a lot of it.
I was hungry for hot dogs and mac and cheese. I fixed it for dinner last night. I ate a lot of it.
I baked awesome zucchini bread. I ate a lot of it.
Sensing a trend here?
I gained some pounds at my WI on Thursday. A lot of them! 5 to be exact.
Has the madness stopped? Nope.
Will it? Yep.
Do I know when? Nope.
Have I exercised in the last month or more? Nope.
Will I? Yep.
Do I know when? Nope.
Sighhh just when I thought I had it down pat.
:-)
I've got a peanut butter cake cooling on the counter to take to work tomorrow. I plan to eat a lot of it.
A girl I work with brought no bake cookies to work today. I ate a lot of them.
They had my favorite pizza on the pizza buffet on Monday. I ate a lot of it.
I was hungry for hot dogs and mac and cheese. I fixed it for dinner last night. I ate a lot of it.
I baked awesome zucchini bread. I ate a lot of it.
Sensing a trend here?
I gained some pounds at my WI on Thursday. A lot of them! 5 to be exact.
Has the madness stopped? Nope.
Will it? Yep.
Do I know when? Nope.
Have I exercised in the last month or more? Nope.
Will I? Yep.
Do I know when? Nope.
Sighhh just when I thought I had it down pat.
:-)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Hello, my name is Debby
And I'm a recipeaholic.
TBM and I collect cookbooks. At least, we used to. I made us stop a few years ago. OK, so I made him stop. I still manage to add to the pile now and then! Always a Weight Watcher or light cooking book these days though, so that doesn't count...right??
Oh, it was a harmless enough addiction. After all, we have a HUGE home with lots of room to put them. We would like 'have' to turn into 'had' in the near future though! I never took a count of the collection, and we've gotten rid of a ton already. At one time we had 4 very large bookcases full of cookbooks, not to mention the ones in the tall oak cabinet by the kitchen. Oh, and the ones packing the four large end tables storage space. Oh, and the ones in the bedroom...don't even ask.
I also tear recipes out of magazines. Yes, I am one of those people.
My goal this summer was twofold. I was going to go through all the photographs I have in huge tubs. I planned to sort them, discard the duplicates, give away the ones I don't want and scan the ones I want to keep to my external hard drive. Oh yes, and make a disc copy also for back up. Ya, that didn't happen.
My second goal was to go through all my Weight Watcher and light cooking cookbooks and select the recipes I was interested in. I planned to scan the recipes, insert them into page protectors, and organize them in a pretty, pink, 3 ring binder I bought for the process. Um, that didn't happen either!
You might wonder why I want to do that. I mean, I've got them all in books, why bother? Well, some of you might not know that TBM and I are trailer trash in Florida for 8 months of the year. Oh ya, we're of the snowbird species. God I love it there! We're leaving in 25 days, in case you were wondering. Space is limited in our park model with attached lanai in Florida. Last year I had a huge Rubbermaid tub full of cookbooks & folders with torn out recipes. It's heavy and it takes up a lot of space. It went down there, and it came back to Michigan. With a mate! Oh yes, instead of condensing my collection, I added to it! Father forgive me for I have sinned, actually I plan to sin, but I'm buying a new cookbook tonight at Weight Watchers too!!! Heather made me do it! Did I mention we're meeting Heather on our way to Florida??? We are! I'm pumped!
So, my being the list maker that I am, have made a page for all the 25 days before we leave. I've started inserting tasks that need to be done on those pages. Yesterday, I hovered over the notebook, and finally, with shaky hand, wrote on each of 10 of the days 'scan and store 20 recipes'.
I changed my mind just now, however, about the scanning. I've decided to collect the torn out recipes I think I want to try and tape them to printer paper. I will then insert that into the page protectors. I can group the recipes, taping several to one sheet of paper, front and back. I'll tape them lightly, then if they suck, I can remove them from the page. I thought it was a brilliant plan. I'd be able to have the notebook right there when I cook, and being as all the recipes would be inside page protectors, if I slop, I can just wipe it off. Brilliant.
Problem? I've just realized that I have a whole entire drawer full of torn out and hand written recipes. They're not all Weight Watcher or light cooking recipes. So, now I'm starving to death & drooling, and it's not even 7am!
How will all this benefit you? I plan to share the recipes that I like. There, how's that??
So, looking at the page in the 'to do' notebook today, I see the following:
* Winterize the 5th wheel
* Scan 20 recipes
* Go to Weight Watchers and take it in the butt for the uncontrolled eating you participated in 3 days this week.
I'll talk to you tomorrow about the uncontrolled food fest I had several days this week. One addiction at a time. Right now, it's recipes.
I need my fix man!!!
:-)
TBM and I collect cookbooks. At least, we used to. I made us stop a few years ago. OK, so I made him stop. I still manage to add to the pile now and then! Always a Weight Watcher or light cooking book these days though, so that doesn't count...right??
Oh, it was a harmless enough addiction. After all, we have a HUGE home with lots of room to put them. We would like 'have' to turn into 'had' in the near future though! I never took a count of the collection, and we've gotten rid of a ton already. At one time we had 4 very large bookcases full of cookbooks, not to mention the ones in the tall oak cabinet by the kitchen. Oh, and the ones packing the four large end tables storage space. Oh, and the ones in the bedroom...don't even ask.
I also tear recipes out of magazines. Yes, I am one of those people.
My goal this summer was twofold. I was going to go through all the photographs I have in huge tubs. I planned to sort them, discard the duplicates, give away the ones I don't want and scan the ones I want to keep to my external hard drive. Oh yes, and make a disc copy also for back up. Ya, that didn't happen.
My second goal was to go through all my Weight Watcher and light cooking cookbooks and select the recipes I was interested in. I planned to scan the recipes, insert them into page protectors, and organize them in a pretty, pink, 3 ring binder I bought for the process. Um, that didn't happen either!
You might wonder why I want to do that. I mean, I've got them all in books, why bother? Well, some of you might not know that TBM and I are trailer trash in Florida for 8 months of the year. Oh ya, we're of the snowbird species. God I love it there! We're leaving in 25 days, in case you were wondering. Space is limited in our park model with attached lanai in Florida. Last year I had a huge Rubbermaid tub full of cookbooks & folders with torn out recipes. It's heavy and it takes up a lot of space. It went down there, and it came back to Michigan. With a mate! Oh yes, instead of condensing my collection, I added to it! Father forgive me for I have sinned, actually I plan to sin, but I'm buying a new cookbook tonight at Weight Watchers too!!! Heather made me do it! Did I mention we're meeting Heather on our way to Florida??? We are! I'm pumped!
So, my being the list maker that I am, have made a page for all the 25 days before we leave. I've started inserting tasks that need to be done on those pages. Yesterday, I hovered over the notebook, and finally, with shaky hand, wrote on each of 10 of the days 'scan and store 20 recipes'.
I changed my mind just now, however, about the scanning. I've decided to collect the torn out recipes I think I want to try and tape them to printer paper. I will then insert that into the page protectors. I can group the recipes, taping several to one sheet of paper, front and back. I'll tape them lightly, then if they suck, I can remove them from the page. I thought it was a brilliant plan. I'd be able to have the notebook right there when I cook, and being as all the recipes would be inside page protectors, if I slop, I can just wipe it off. Brilliant.
Problem? I've just realized that I have a whole entire drawer full of torn out and hand written recipes. They're not all Weight Watcher or light cooking recipes. So, now I'm starving to death & drooling, and it's not even 7am!
How will all this benefit you? I plan to share the recipes that I like. There, how's that??
So, looking at the page in the 'to do' notebook today, I see the following:
* Winterize the 5th wheel
* Scan 20 recipes
* Go to Weight Watchers and take it in the butt for the uncontrolled eating you participated in 3 days this week.
I'll talk to you tomorrow about the uncontrolled food fest I had several days this week. One addiction at a time. Right now, it's recipes.
I need my fix man!!!
:-)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Voila!
Hey there boys and girls! Look up! I finally, with the help of my friend Ian, got my slideshow up. I'll change it in a while as I want to add some more pictures.
I have a lot of other pictures in a file somewhere that I want to add. I feel those are important as they're of me having fun. Yes, I was fat, but I always had fun. You'll see me in bathing suits. I know a lot of you won't put on a bathing suit. I always did. I had self confidence even when I was fatter. Oh yes, I knew I looked like shit, and I always felt some embarassment, but I never, ever, ever let it stop me from 'doing'. Water parks? You bet your ass. Beaches? Love them! Amusment parks...let me at them! I did it all. I loved it all too. I'll let you know when those pictures have been added.
I never felt self loathing. Oh I wanted to be thin, and sometimes I'd cry out of frustration, but I never hated myself ever. I always found something to like. I love my eyes. My hair back then was really soft. So I was fat, I had awesome jewelery. You know? Just find something you love, and focus on that. Don't focus on what you hate. Hating is bad. It'll eat you up from the inside out.
I never blamed anyone but myself for my fat. Yes, my parents didn't know squat about nutrition. Yes, they let me eat wrong when I was a child. After that, it was all my own fault. I ate, I got fat. Depression? No, never. Bad childhood? Hardly! Nobody made me fat but myself. Nobody forced food down my throat and made me swallow. Nope, I chose to do that all by myself. Why? Because I'm a spoiled princess and I never learned the word 'no'. I wanted it, I had it. Plain and simple. That's the hardest thing I'm still having to get over.
I would cry in high school as of course I wanted a date and never had one. It's all good now. Had I dated in high school, I'd have never met TBM. What a shame that would have been! Oh the joy, the excitement, the first day we met. I was at a bar with my sister in law. Den came over and asked me to dance. To my favorite song. I was in heaven! The fat girl never got to dance!!! He came to our table, sat down, bought me a drink even and chatted with both of us. A while later, he asked me for my phone number. Wow what a rush that was! Would he call? Oh I hoped he would. He was sweet and kind, and he danced with the fat girl! The smile I went to bed with that night...dreaming of his phone call. Yep, had I dated in high school, none of that would have happened.
He called.
I'm still smiling.
:-)
I have a lot of other pictures in a file somewhere that I want to add. I feel those are important as they're of me having fun. Yes, I was fat, but I always had fun. You'll see me in bathing suits. I know a lot of you won't put on a bathing suit. I always did. I had self confidence even when I was fatter. Oh yes, I knew I looked like shit, and I always felt some embarassment, but I never, ever, ever let it stop me from 'doing'. Water parks? You bet your ass. Beaches? Love them! Amusment parks...let me at them! I did it all. I loved it all too. I'll let you know when those pictures have been added.
I never felt self loathing. Oh I wanted to be thin, and sometimes I'd cry out of frustration, but I never hated myself ever. I always found something to like. I love my eyes. My hair back then was really soft. So I was fat, I had awesome jewelery. You know? Just find something you love, and focus on that. Don't focus on what you hate. Hating is bad. It'll eat you up from the inside out.
I never blamed anyone but myself for my fat. Yes, my parents didn't know squat about nutrition. Yes, they let me eat wrong when I was a child. After that, it was all my own fault. I ate, I got fat. Depression? No, never. Bad childhood? Hardly! Nobody made me fat but myself. Nobody forced food down my throat and made me swallow. Nope, I chose to do that all by myself. Why? Because I'm a spoiled princess and I never learned the word 'no'. I wanted it, I had it. Plain and simple. That's the hardest thing I'm still having to get over.
I would cry in high school as of course I wanted a date and never had one. It's all good now. Had I dated in high school, I'd have never met TBM. What a shame that would have been! Oh the joy, the excitement, the first day we met. I was at a bar with my sister in law. Den came over and asked me to dance. To my favorite song. I was in heaven! The fat girl never got to dance!!! He came to our table, sat down, bought me a drink even and chatted with both of us. A while later, he asked me for my phone number. Wow what a rush that was! Would he call? Oh I hoped he would. He was sweet and kind, and he danced with the fat girl! The smile I went to bed with that night...dreaming of his phone call. Yep, had I dated in high school, none of that would have happened.
He called.
I'm still smiling.
:-)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Help me!
Nothing exciting to say tonight. Still hangin in there.
I have a problem. I scanned a bunch of before pictures and I want to put a slide show on my blog. I'm not having any luck. I put them on photobucket and thought that would be easy as they have a direct link...um that didn't work. I tried using picasa...no joy there either. Anyone know how to get a slide show on the blog?
Thanks!
:-)
I have a problem. I scanned a bunch of before pictures and I want to put a slide show on my blog. I'm not having any luck. I put them on photobucket and thought that would be easy as they have a direct link...um that didn't work. I tried using picasa...no joy there either. Anyone know how to get a slide show on the blog?
Thanks!
:-)
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A persevering Pixie
"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." Newt Gingrich
Whether or not I agree with his political views, those words sure hit home to me when I read them a few minutes ago. OK, so I might have been reading the Readers Digest while sitting on the toilet, but hey, I have many ephiphical moments there. No pun intended!
I'm struggling to beat the band here. My body wants to remain at 190 pounds and I don't want it to. I've read in the past that our body has set points...a point where it is happy and wishes to remain. My body wished to remain at 240 pounds for about 10 years. It then gained 10 pounds without my consent. I lost that 10 pounds, but it was ever so difficult to breach that 240 pound mark. It took weeks of trying until finally, the bod gave up the fight and let the fat go. I then happily lost that 40, and then another 10, and then it said 'whoa bitch! enough is enough!!!' It does not want to go lower. I'm staying OP and either gaining or staying the same. I'm hanging on by my toenails. I need to persevere...keep doing the hard work even though I've done it already. It should be easy by now, but it isn't.
I am having mental battles with myself about 100 times a day. I keep telling myself maybe I just need to eat and gain some and then get on the losing wagon again. Then I tell myself I'm a freaking moron. Do I REALLY want to lose the same 5 pounds again??? Really??? Um no I don't! So I go back and forth. Eat! Don't eat! Eat! Don't eat! Good grief I'm driving myself insane! I've managed to not eat every time...but it's getting harder and harder to fight the beast within. I mean there is NO way I can keep doing it if I let it be this difficult.
Reading old Newty boy's quote today made me realize that I'm not the only one out there that has hard times. I mean if he said this, it's because he, or someone else, did hard work, and had to keep on going with the work being just as hard. Awesome. I'm not alone. I'm not a single fat broad swimming in a sea of self doubt being persecuted by fatty foods! I can do this. I can outstubborn the fat. It may not be this week, it may not be this month, but I can, and I will do it!
Take that fat!
You're toast!
Mmmmmmm toast with butter.....OK, so maybe I've got a LOT of hard work left!!!!
:-)
Whether or not I agree with his political views, those words sure hit home to me when I read them a few minutes ago. OK, so I might have been reading the Readers Digest while sitting on the toilet, but hey, I have many ephiphical moments there. No pun intended!
I'm struggling to beat the band here. My body wants to remain at 190 pounds and I don't want it to. I've read in the past that our body has set points...a point where it is happy and wishes to remain. My body wished to remain at 240 pounds for about 10 years. It then gained 10 pounds without my consent. I lost that 10 pounds, but it was ever so difficult to breach that 240 pound mark. It took weeks of trying until finally, the bod gave up the fight and let the fat go. I then happily lost that 40, and then another 10, and then it said 'whoa bitch! enough is enough!!!' It does not want to go lower. I'm staying OP and either gaining or staying the same. I'm hanging on by my toenails. I need to persevere...keep doing the hard work even though I've done it already. It should be easy by now, but it isn't.
I am having mental battles with myself about 100 times a day. I keep telling myself maybe I just need to eat and gain some and then get on the losing wagon again. Then I tell myself I'm a freaking moron. Do I REALLY want to lose the same 5 pounds again??? Really??? Um no I don't! So I go back and forth. Eat! Don't eat! Eat! Don't eat! Good grief I'm driving myself insane! I've managed to not eat every time...but it's getting harder and harder to fight the beast within. I mean there is NO way I can keep doing it if I let it be this difficult.
Reading old Newty boy's quote today made me realize that I'm not the only one out there that has hard times. I mean if he said this, it's because he, or someone else, did hard work, and had to keep on going with the work being just as hard. Awesome. I'm not alone. I'm not a single fat broad swimming in a sea of self doubt being persecuted by fatty foods! I can do this. I can outstubborn the fat. It may not be this week, it may not be this month, but I can, and I will do it!
Take that fat!
You're toast!
Mmmmmmm toast with butter.....OK, so maybe I've got a LOT of hard work left!!!!
:-)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Singin in the rain!
Good morning boys and girls!!!
I'm feeling on top of the world this morning. I get to go to work with new responsibilities today and I'm excited over the prospect. I get to be the HMFIC and that's a hat I wear well! I'm pumped to show my talent and put everyone I work with in awe. Oh ya, I can hear it now...'wow! Can you believe how she just took over? Never having done that before? Man oh man is she good'! Oh ya, I love me some praise! Crap, I think I just broke my arm patting myself on the back. Ah well, I'll pop an extra Aleve today!
TBM and I are hoping to go to the Ogemaw County Fair again tonight after work. Three Men & a Tenor are there and I just loved them when I saw them years ago. He's never seen their show so it should be a fabby evening....if it doesn't rain!
I've planned a cold supper for us. I'll pack it all up before leaving for work at 9:20 and it'll be ready to grab and go if the weather permits. NO way I was going to the fair on an empty stomach. Corn dogs, popcorn, nachos, elephant ears (they sucked though!) etc. Nope, not me. Fail to plan is my plan to fail and all that malarkey.
So, let's tally the day shall we?
Debby gets to be the boss at work. Check!
Debby has her meals all planned for today. Check!
Debby is pumped to be alive and large and in charge today. Check!! In fact, Double check!
PS: HMFIC for those of you that don't know=head mother f'er in charge. Oh ya, that's me!!!!!
:-)
I'm feeling on top of the world this morning. I get to go to work with new responsibilities today and I'm excited over the prospect. I get to be the HMFIC and that's a hat I wear well! I'm pumped to show my talent and put everyone I work with in awe. Oh ya, I can hear it now...'wow! Can you believe how she just took over? Never having done that before? Man oh man is she good'! Oh ya, I love me some praise! Crap, I think I just broke my arm patting myself on the back. Ah well, I'll pop an extra Aleve today!
TBM and I are hoping to go to the Ogemaw County Fair again tonight after work. Three Men & a Tenor are there and I just loved them when I saw them years ago. He's never seen their show so it should be a fabby evening....if it doesn't rain!
I've planned a cold supper for us. I'll pack it all up before leaving for work at 9:20 and it'll be ready to grab and go if the weather permits. NO way I was going to the fair on an empty stomach. Corn dogs, popcorn, nachos, elephant ears (they sucked though!) etc. Nope, not me. Fail to plan is my plan to fail and all that malarkey.
So, let's tally the day shall we?
Debby gets to be the boss at work. Check!
Debby has her meals all planned for today. Check!
Debby is pumped to be alive and large and in charge today. Check!! In fact, Double check!
PS: HMFIC for those of you that don't know=head mother f'er in charge. Oh ya, that's me!!!!!
:-)
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