"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." Newt Gingrich
Whether or not I agree with his political views, those words sure hit home to me when I read them a few minutes ago. OK, so I might have been reading the Readers Digest while sitting on the toilet, but hey, I have many ephiphical moments there. No pun intended!
I'm struggling to beat the band here. My body wants to remain at 190 pounds and I don't want it to. I've read in the past that our body has set points...a point where it is happy and wishes to remain. My body wished to remain at 240 pounds for about 10 years. It then gained 10 pounds without my consent. I lost that 10 pounds, but it was ever so difficult to breach that 240 pound mark. It took weeks of trying until finally, the bod gave up the fight and let the fat go. I then happily lost that 40, and then another 10, and then it said 'whoa bitch! enough is enough!!!' It does not want to go lower. I'm staying OP and either gaining or staying the same. I'm hanging on by my toenails. I need to persevere...keep doing the hard work even though I've done it already. It should be easy by now, but it isn't.
I am having mental battles with myself about 100 times a day. I keep telling myself maybe I just need to eat and gain some and then get on the losing wagon again. Then I tell myself I'm a freaking moron. Do I REALLY want to lose the same 5 pounds again??? Really??? Um no I don't! So I go back and forth. Eat! Don't eat! Eat! Don't eat! Good grief I'm driving myself insane! I've managed to not eat every time...but it's getting harder and harder to fight the beast within. I mean there is NO way I can keep doing it if I let it be this difficult.
Reading old Newty boy's quote today made me realize that I'm not the only one out there that has hard times. I mean if he said this, it's because he, or someone else, did hard work, and had to keep on going with the work being just as hard. Awesome. I'm not alone. I'm not a single fat broad swimming in a sea of self doubt being persecuted by fatty foods! I can do this. I can outstubborn the fat. It may not be this week, it may not be this month, but I can, and I will do it!
Take that fat!
Mmmmmmm toast with butter.....OK, so maybe I've got a LOT of hard work left!!!!
A wink and a smile
5 years ago