Thursday, February 5, 2009

Kick it up a notch

Am I watching Emeril again? Ah, no, but I wish I were.

I decided to ramp up my exercise. Kick it up a notch. Slam it into high gear. What the hell was I thinking? Oh, I watch the Biggest Loser and they sweat and they're old and they can do it. I thought I'd try doubling my exercise this week to see if I had a bigger loss. Who let me think???

It's cold here. I went to the gym. I wanted to warm up on the treadmill and then hop on the elliptical. Some old fart was on the treadmill so I started on the elliptical. I did 5 minutes. The old guy on the treadmill kept glancing out the corner of his eye at me. I think he wasn't sure about the drool that extended from my slack bottom lip and went to the floor. Either that, or he thought I was choking on my tongue and needed the Heimlich maneuver. Thank God he finished and left the room. My 5 minutes ended and I hopped over to the treadmill. Actually, hopped might be too strong a word. My legs felt like Jell-O and my arms were shaking. So, technically, I wobbled over to the treadmill. I did pretty good on that. Hiked at about 3.7 mph and then ramped it up to 4.5mph and did a bit of jogging. That lasted 15 minutes. I went back to the contraption of death, oh, I mean the elliptical and did another 5 minutes. My breath was coming in ragged gasps and I was sweating from every pore. I'd had enough. My MP3 even quit playing. I didn't have pockets so I shoved it in my bra. I suspect it got waterlogged. I went over to do my stretches and found I was breathing too hard to stretch. Doh, I forgot to cool down so back to the freaking treadmill I went. I walked on that for several minutes and started to feel better. I went to do my stretches but somehow ended back up on the elliptical! Did another 5 minutes. Now, definitely stick a fork in me...I was done. I got back on the treadmill and went slow until my heart settled back in my chest. Did my stretches and headed back home.

I walked in the door and immediately popped in my 2 mile WATP DVD...the one with the weights mind you! It was tough but I was doing it. If you're not familiar with the Walking Away the Pounds DVD's...Leslie Sansone is the devil. Her goal in life is to kill me. Oh, she pretends to have my best interest at heart, but she doesn't. She tells me to lift my knees higher, and then says 'oh doesn't that feel good?' Hell no that doesn't feel good! The muscle in the back of my leg feels like it's going to snap! She then has us do side steps. One of the girls in the group (coven) says 'oh I feel it in my abs.' What the hell is an ab? Do I have an ab? I feel something, but it's mainly in my ass and thighs. I'm pretty sure an ab isn't there! I finished the damn DVD anyway and I didn't die. So I guess day 1 of ramping up my exercise didn't kill me.

Something in the belly region kind of hurts. I wonder if it's an ab?

It's probably a hernia from lifting the #2 weights!

Oh goody, I can't wait to exercise tomorrow.


  1. roflmao, I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life "What is an I have one?!" roflmao

    Just make sure you take it only as far as your body is ok with, you don't want to hurt yourself :)


  2. Way to kick it up that notch! Anxious to hear how it goes!

  3. LMAO! Gawd this was funny.

    SO how sore are you now???

  4. Kick it up A notch. You've got to be kidding. I think that was definitly a 3 or 4 notcher maybe more. OMG you are really making me feel much older than you now.