Drum roll please

OK, OK, OK, already!!!!

Geez, I just wanted to catch up on some blogs but I couldn't. The guilt fairy was niggling at me. I hate when that witch does that. She wouldn't let me appreciate the blogs I was reading until I got back here and did what I said I'd do.

Operation Fat Blaster.

Before I discuss my goals, I need to discuss how they're going to happen. What am I going to tell myself to fight urges to eat? What plans am I going to put in place until I hit the end toward which all my effort is directed? I thought about that a lot today while I was at work. I swear to God there's never, ever, ever, a 5 minute span at work that I don't want to eat something. I don't give a rats ass if I'm hungry or not. I see those cheesy, buttery, sticks and I want them. I want them dipped in ranch dressing too. I see all the pizza's I carry out to the buffet and I want them. God played a cruel joke on me today and there was a cheesecake that, if one of us didn't eat, we had to throw away. I lived for those moments last year. Our cheesecake is divine. I want it, and I want it all. It's very difficult for me. So...I decided the following.

1. No unplanned eating at work. Yes, I know I can have pizza etc. All I have to do is count the points for it. Thing is, I plan my food in the morning, so if I eat the pizza, I'm doing it because I can't stop myself. It's an urge. Nothing wrong with having pizza, or even cheesecake for that matter, but to wolf it down at work when it can't even be enjoyed is just silly. If I want it, plan for it, then have it. Don't grab it as I'm walking by and shovel it in. I vow not to eat anything I'm craving at work that I haven't planned for.

What am I going to tell myself to get me through the rough spots? Oh, don't kid yourself, I talk to myself daily. Sometimes out loud, sometimes internal. There hasn't been a day in a long time that I've not had to fight with myself. I had a great run from January to the end of April. Every day was easy. Rarely did I want to have what I shouldn't or not exercise. Ya, it's not the end of April anymore Toto!!! Everyone says (I don't exactly know who 'everyone' is, but they are saying it!!)you have to do it for yourself. I'm breaking the mold. I'm going to do it for you. Yes, that's right, you. I want to show you that it can be done. So, when I want to eat, I'm going to tell myself that I can't. I need to suck it up for you. I need to stay strong for you.

What are my goals?

OK, I'm having trouble with that certain number. One hundred and eighty eight. That would be the magic number that will allow me to collect my next star and slap it on my bookmark next to my other 35 stars. Yes, it would be my #180 weight loss. Is that my goal? No. Is it a number I can't seem to get below and stay below? Ah, yes it is. I get .6 pounds away and then promptly eat everything in sight for a long time. So, my first Operation Fat Blaster goal is to get to #188, collect my star, and keep moving that scale needle downward. OK, so they're digital scales. You get the metaphorical drift.

My second goal is to lose 50% of my body weight. Even I don't need a calculator to dived 368 in half. One hundred eighty four. When I weigh #184, I'll have lost half my body weight. So, my second OFB goal is to reach my 50% off.

My very, very good friend Rosanna always says 'So it is written, so it shall be done'. Amen Rosanna. It is indeed written.

I'll have to hurry and set another goal when I achieve those two as they're close together. I don't want to relapse and have to make them goals to reach again. I hate doing things twice. My Mama had a saying that she said often. My boys knew it by heart by the time they were 5 I think.

When a job is once begun,
Never leave it til it's done.
Be it great or be it small,
Do it right or not at all.

This one is for you Mama.

:-)