Yep, so I told you I don't eat in private, and I thought I didn't. I guess I do.
You see, I ate yesterday. Oh did I eat. I didn't tell you. You couldn't see me, why should you know? I had no intention of telling you either. Then I thought about yesterdays blog post, and realized if I didn't tell you, I'd be sneak eating.
I also learned yesterday I'm a stress eater. Who knew? It's becoming crunch time here as far as our move goes. I'm not upset about it, I am excited to go, but it really is a lot of work. We've lived here for 32 years. That's a lot of ends to tie up. We want every end tied up, all the boxes packed, the i's dotted and the t's crossed by the 22nd. See, the 22nd is our last day of work. We move the 26th. We really want those last days to just chill. Drive up to wine country, get some bottles for the road. Visit friends we won't see again, eat at restaurants we may never get to in the future. So, we're trying to wrap it up here while still working. Wow. I only work a few days a week, but TBM works 5. The days he works, he's useless for anything else. I've got shoulder/knee/ etc problems. I have trouble climbing ladders, lifting the boxes I'm packing. I need his help. We've got 2 days this week...this is one of them and it's half gone!
So, I had yesterday off. I wanted to pack a lot of boxes, do some cleaning, do some paperwork. I pondered all I had to do over a few pieces of friendship cake. It was so good, I had a few more. Ya, so I can't eat just one!
I have a really awesome kitchen here and all of a sudden I wanted to bake bread. So I did. I love the smell of bread raising, and even better, bread baking. It came out of the oven and I cut one steaming crust off, thick of course, and slathered it with cold butter. It was fantastic. I then cut the other crust off, repeat the cold butter, and still awesome.
I had a butt load of salami and crackers for 'lunch'.
I fixed dinner. Meatloaf and sweet potatoes. Wanted something else to go with it, so prepared some pasta. I was going to bake the sweet potatoes. Instead, I cubed them up, boiled them, drained them and added brown sugar and honey and then put them in a pan and baked them. When they were done, I added marshmallows I found in the drawer. You know, as I put them on I could just feel Jillian Michael's shaking her head at me. I felt guilty. I took a perfectly healthy food and fucked it up big time. My pasta was whole wheat. I added butter and fresh grated Parmesan. Fucked that up too. A veg? Oh no. A fruit? Does the bottle of wine I had with dinner count?
There was more cake, more bread and butter, and can't remember what else, but there was a lot of that too.
That was yesterday.
I just took my left over whole wheat pasta and had that for lunch. Somehow, some onions and fresh garlic and fresh jalapeno fell into some sauteing butter and that got added to the pasta....along with some Parmesan and Velveeta and cream. Of course breakfast was homemade bread toast with butter and eggs.
I don't feel one bit guilty (except for that moment with the marshmallows), but I should. I should feel bad for putting all that crap into my body. I kind of want my body to last a while. I need it for stuff.
Live and learn as they say. It's so very true. I learn new stuff every day.
Today I learned that I make kick ass spaghetti in cheese sauce.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll learn that I prefer wholesome food.
A girl can dream eh?
Peace be the journey
A wink and a smile
5 years ago