Saturday, August 21, 2010

This is not who I am


Walking into work last night, my cheeks were bouncing and jiggling. Both sets. I was uncomfortable. I actually felt the fat bouncing on my face and ass. I paid more attention. I felt the fat on my stomach and thighs slamming around in my skin too. A thought popped into my head.

This is not who I am.

I am not the fat chick anymore. Oh, sure, physically I am, but I don't want to be. That's a good thing. We have to want to change or we won't.

If I become complacent with my fat, I can let it define me. I become the fat chick. My mind wants to be the fit chick, so it will get my body on board.

I was very excited to hear my mind tell me that we are going to whip this fat bod into shape. Sometimes she's a bitch. Last night I liked what she had to say.

So, who are you? Are you the fat chick or the tubby guy? Or, are you the healthy, fit individual?

You are who you think you are.

Peace be the journey



  1. Great post! :) I know you will get to business when you get settled in FL. It's hard when you are moving to be on plan ( I did it last time we moved but- I know its hard! lol)

    I think by writing this you also reminded me to look at myself for who I am NOW...I tend to think of myself at 232 pounds and I need to recognize myself in the body I have now. :)

  2. Ah, Deb, you are strong. Its there in you and you know it. Keep going, you are finding her (that healthy gal) a little more everyday.

  3. At the moment I am the chick who has to watch it as I am on my way to regain all my weight...
    I have become far too comfortable and eating like there is no tomorrow, as if I am naturally skinny and can cause I can...
    I'm scared...
    I'm really scared, I dont like where I am right now either.

  4. I'm just trying to be the normal gal. Now, I know that everyone will say, "what is normal?" In my head, normal is someone who doesn't deify food, isn't afraid of it, doesn't use it as a crutch or a friend, or as something with which to punish one's self. Normal is not apologizing when you're eating, not fussing over your food, or giving a waitress apoplexia by nitpicking about how each mouthful of your food needs to be prepared. Normal is using food for fuel and health. I'm trying to be the person who can sit down to a meal and be more interested in the conversation than I am about calories or fats or carbs or guilt. Becoming normal is like any other behavior modification...I have to continually work at it so that it becomes a new, good habit.

  5. Oh my gosh, I was just thinking about this kind of thing. I'm so glad you shared your thoughts. You're so right. We can't be defined by the fat that never felt like our true selves anyway. It's something to recognize as a factor in our lives and make a choice to change. Our bodies are so much more. They are everything we want and need them to be. Time to treat them really well!