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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sleeping around & Food Porn

So, if you're the type that can't read about other people eating decadent things without binging yourself, quick X out of this blog post!

We're camping right now, hence the 'sleeping around' part of the post. Ya, you thought something dirty...get your mind out of the gutter. I'm an old lady for goodness sakes!

We're not roughing it. There's a lovely indoor pool, jacuzzi, sauna, gym (which we're not using!), cable TV, Internet, pretty much everything a girl could need. Whatever they don't have, I brought with me as we travel in a large 5th wheel with all the comforts of home. OK, I gotta do it...I took pictures.

This is me in my camping chair. Three, count them three, magazines and my dog. There may, or may not, be some chocolate that you can't see in this picture.



This is the indoor swimming pool at the campground. Palm trees, dolphins, ya...it's a rough life!



Here are the big man and I in all our glory. You notice I hang in the Jacuzzi and he hangs in the pool. I like it hot, what can I say?



OK, now that the sleeping around is explained...let us move on to the food porn shall we?

I'm going to start with the last meal of the day. We ate at Bennigan's. I had soup and 1/2 a sandwich. Sounds pretty tame eh? Things are not always what they seem! Creamy thick potato soup piled high with shredded cheese and chives. A Monte Cristo sandwich. Never heard of it? Nobody should have ever heard of it! It's a perfectly healthy sandwich gone bad. Real bad. I mean don't bend over in the shower cuz you're in jail bad. Whole wheat bread, sliced turkey, sliced ham. Not too bad eh? Oh let's slap American cheese on one side and Swiss cheese on the other. Hmmmm why don't we dunk it in batter and deep fry it? Oh I know...let's sprinkle it with powdered sugar and then dip in in raspberry jam shall we? Burrrpppp yes we shall!

I could hardly wait to get home and get my pants off. They are so freaking tight!

I had half a bag of cookies with my coffee this morning. Cereal and skim milk for breakfast. Tortilla chips and homemade creamy salsa with avocado for a snack. Oh yes, homemade mac and cheese for lunch. Heavy on the cheese. There was a Cadbury fruit and nut bar in there and God only knows what else. This madness HAS to stop.

I weigh in tomorrow night. It is so not going to be pretty!!!

Thursday will find the big man and I back on program. Oh how hard that day is going to be?

I've had so much grease my pores are oozing olive oil. I'm pretty sure I'm going to crap a stick of butter. I'm afraid to fart as tortilla chips might pop out of an orifice. My burps smell of Oreo's...lots and lots of oreo's!

I'm ready to be 'normal' again. I say that right now...it's easy at night when I'm full.

Grant me strength.....tomorrow. I'm off for another cookie right now!

:-)

5 comments:

  1. Mmmmm..Monte Cristo sandwich. I'm extremely glad that we no longer have a Bennigans anywhere near me. Those sandwiches would be my downfall.

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  2. mmmm I love those Monte Cristo sand-o's! OMG!

    I think Ive crapped a stick of butter before- you crack me up! lol

    Well I know I just lived vicariously through your post today! Thanks- I can almost smell the oreos on my breath as I burp too! hehe

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  3. Where is THAT campground! I want to go there! lol I'm a high maintenance camper and that shit's right up my alley!

    Sorry but the Monte Cristo sounds gross lol, and I say that as a deep fried food lover. Even pre WW I would have found it gross. However, the rest of the food porn sounds beautiful...yum.

    Good luck getting back on track! Can't wait to see how much you kick ass as usual Deb!

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  4. great pics...now get back to work!

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  5. There's a TV show in there somewhere - - "When Good Sandwiches Go Bad". I'm just envious cos I want to be in that pool.

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