What is my true goal?

How are the choices I'm making going to help me achieve that goal?

Hey, not bad words to ponder eh? I get a daily email from Jillian Michaels and this little gem was just tossed in there.

I think we need to look at both long term, and short term goals. Sometimes, like right now for me, I need a freakin break! I need a break from planning, measuring, thinking 24/7 about my diet. I so want it to just become routine. I don't think that's ever going to happen. So, right now, I need a break. Unlike past times when I've 'needed a break', this time I care if I gain. In the past, I really just wanted to eat whatever I wanted and I didn't care if I gained. This time I care.

I'm going to try to remember this quote and say it to myself. Today at work when I want pizza, and I WILL want pizza and more, I'm going to try asking myself how eating that pizza will help me achieve that goal. My goal until I get back to Florida is to maintain. So, one slice of pizza would help me achieve that goal, whereas 4 would not.

I want to learn to make healthy choices without obsessing over them. My restaurant does have healthy choices believe it or not! I don't ever think 'ohhhh I want a big bowl of pasta fagioli (pronounced pasta fazool)', or 'I'm just dying for a big bowl of salad made with romaine, diced beets, fresh mushrooms, red onions, cucumbers, and fat free raspberry vinaigrette'. So, for today, I'm going to try to change my thinking. When I want the pizza and the cheesy sticks dipped in ranch dressing, I'm going to ask myself how that's going to help me accomplish my goal of maintaining. THEN I'm going to tell myself that if I have the soup instead, the next time I want a treat I'd be able to have it.

We have excellent homemade garlic toast (made from homemade french bread even) that goes with the soup. Yes please, I'll take 100! I bought some baked bagel chips with light sea salt. I'm going to take a few of those with me instead of having the garlic toast. It's still a treat, but a much better choice than the buttery garlic toast. My plan for the next month is going to be about learning choices, learning compromise. I may be old, but I'm still willing to learn!

I want to learn that treats are OK if we really want them. I want the pizza and the cheesy sticks because they're there. I see them, I smell them. I need to learn not to eat at those times. I need to learn to weigh my options.

I don't want to have to weigh and measure my food for the rest of my life. I want to learn to eat right most of the time and learn to judge portions. I've never trusted myself to do that. I've always weighed and measured. I plan, and journal also. I've got myself in a funk lately thinking that I'll have to do this for the rest of my life. When I don't, I gain. That's not really how it is though. I've never practiced mindful eating. When I didn't track and plan and weigh and measure, I was off on an eating frenzy just trying to pack in everything and anything. This isn't what this hiatus is about. This hiatus is to learn how I can maintain when I've lost all I want to lose. I need to show myself that I'm not always going to have to weigh and measure etc.

I'm so hoping I can maintain and it'll help my mental health to no limits. We're talking about 3-4 weeks here. When I reach my goal at WW I'll only have to weigh in once a month. So, this will show me if I can do it. I'm thinking I'll find that I'll need to weigh and measure occasionally. I can live with that. I can live with writing down what I eat every day too. I just don't want to be as obsessed.

I'm sure a lot of you are saying 'Ya, well let me know how that works out for ya OK?' I hear ya, I'm thinking the same thing myself.

I lost .2 this week at WI. I was freaking pumped.

I'm so fired up for this next week I could almost spit. I'm already telling myself that I want the soup at work today. It's all about choices. I've got my grapes in a container and my WW yogurt ready to tote. I didn't measure the grapes. I put them in the container I always do. It might be more, or even less than a cup. It was so freeing to just put them in there without measuring them first! Oh what a rebel I am!

Who says staying the same means stagnation? I think it means freedom!!!

:-)