Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Are you sitting down?

If not, please do so now. This post is going to be so freaking upbeat, you don't want to risk standing!

I went to bed last night in such a funk, in so much pain, feeling so fat and full, and so upset over the job situation here(TBM doesn't have one and needs one or we can't stay in FL for the winter), that I didn't sleep all night hardly. I went to bed knowing that today would be virtually impossible to get back OP, already making excuses for my failure. That's how I went to bed. I sure the hell didn't wake up that way!!

Problems & Solutions:

1. Problem: This f'ing arthritis was getting the best of me. I hate to bitch and complain, so I don't usually. Well I do, but only to a few of my friends. Bless them for listning. I went from being super woman, (oh yes, that's right, Linda Freakin Carter eat your heart out) to a woman that can't unhook her own bra and can't get the lid off the carafe she likes to pour her coffee out of. I have terrible trouble with doorknobs, and with the a/c on here, we keep a lot of doors closed. I get up after sitting like an 80 year old...all gimpy and sore until the kinks get smoothed out. I was pumping iron at the gym, and now I can't even open the door without help. Oh wah wah, oh woe is me, poor, poor, Pixie. Yes, that's how I went to bed last night.

1. Soultion: First of all I have an appointment with my doc here on Friday. I didn't like the man I saw back in MI. He didn't take me seriously. Surprise...a man not taking a woman seriously. He bent a few joints and said 'you have osteoarthritis'. Yep, that was it. No tests, no in depth questions, no nothing. Now, me, not knowing anything about arthritis as I'm only f'ing 50 you know!!!, didn't have the questions to ask. I assumed, ya, I know, that he'd know what he was talking about and be all supportive and give me ideas. Nope. Nada. So, I'm going to this appointment Friday all preapred like. I've got questions, and I've got demands if necessary. I want testing done. I want to know 100% if it's osteoarthritis, or rumetoid arthritis. I want to know if there's therapy that will help. I don't want drugs if I don't need them. I want to know what my quality of life will be and what to do to experience it at it's maximum. Hey, maybe my middle finger will be the one to start locking in place instead of my thumb and ring finger. Think of all the fun I could have then!

2. Problem: Feeling fat and full. I went to bed so bummed out that I'd let myself gain 25 pounds in my eating frenzy. I hadn't done the math. I hadn't actually added up the poundage. I knew it had been 7 weeks of uncontrolled eating. I remember a 5.6 pound gain, a 4.6, and I sure remember this weeks gain of 5.8 pounds! I knew I was back up over 200 again. Fuck me sideways. I was so full when I went to bed I literally couldn't get comfy and fall asleep. My pants are so tight I can hardly button them...hell buttoning loose pants right now is hell with my thumbs, let alone, skin tight ones!

2. Solution: Doh, get unfat and don't go to bed full! First thing I did this morning was to get my WW book out and enter all the weights in my online weight tracker. I hadn't done that for 7 weeks. I never missed a meeting, I just didn't write it down. What did I find? I 'only' gained 16 pounds! OMG you have no idea what a high that was! Have you ever heard anyone say 'wooohooo I gained 16 pounds'?? Well, you have now! 25 pounds sounded like so much, well of course it is, but it sounded like a huge, insurmountable number. 16 pounds sounds like, hey, not too bad for 7 weeks of bingeing!! Did I want to gain that? Of course not. Could it have been worse? Hell yes. I gained 15.2 pounds on our migration north in May in 3 weeks. This frenzy lasted longer, and could have been a whole lot worse!! Yep, I'm pleased as punch and I have complete confidence I can get this off again and for once, delve into virgin fat.

I woke up this morning thinking there was no way in hell I'd stay OP today. It would just be too hard, and what is one more day after all? Finding out that I'd not gained as much as I thought, was just the panacea I needed.

My menu is planned for today.

I've had a healthy breakfast.

I don't have half of what I need for dinner(shopping here is hell and I gave up after only getting half the list last night!!!), but I know now that I'll be able to run out to the store this afternoon and get it and still remain on program.

I'd love to stay and chat...but 10am is water aerobics here. For the first time ever, my fat ass is going to be in the pool with the rest of them!!!

Oh ya, Super Woman is back!!!!!



  1. I hate to say it, but I'm glad it was only 16 rather than 25!!

    I like you plan. I'm sorry you are having so much joint pain - I hope this new dr. can find out what's going on.

  2. I dont have anything to say.... just a smile for ya! YIPEEE


  3. Good for you! Don't give will get back on track...sorry your hurting so much...:(

  4. I'm glad you've got a good list of questions for the doctor - I SO hate doctors who say things like "it's osteoarthritis" in an almost casual manner. Makes me wonder if punching people is always wrong.

  5. Lists are always great when seeing the doctor. I always forget what I wanted to ask!! :)