Comfortable in my own skin

Even if there is a lot of it.

I had a fantastic day today. I intended to make a new chili recipe, an eggplant Parmesan, pickled beets with Splenda instead of sugar, chicken salad, a roasted vegetable shrimp pasta primavera, and without looking at my list, I can't remember what else. I needed to shop before cooking.

I also intended to clean my lanai today & check the gutters to see if I needed to clean them today or if they could wait 3 weeks. I needed to return the Viactive I bought at K-Mart yesterday, and deposit the rebate check for my new laptop that I got in the mail today. I needed to order drugs and I of course needed to exercise. I think there was some other stuff, but I can't remember what now.

You know what they say about the best laid plans.

I got the lanai tidied, I checked the gutters. They're good for another 3 weeks. I ordered drugs and I exercised. Oops, my friend Mary called and asked if I wanted to go to the pool. Hmmm let me think. It's 94 degrees. Would I rather go to the pool or cook?

The water was divine, the company better. What a lovely few hours. Floated and chatted and got all cooled off. Other friends joined us and it was just a wonderful, relaxing, awesome afternoon. I got home around 5:30. I was starving and still needed to shop. I decided I'd take myself out to dinner. Den was in bed sleeping so I would be dining solo.

I perused my dining out guide. I surfed Dottie's website for restaurants. I then put everything down and asked myself what I really wanted to eat. I wanted some juicy ground cow and a baked potato. Outback has the best burgers I think. Off to Outback I went. I thought I might feel a bit uncomfortable. My friend reminded me that I don't like to dine alone. I thought about that for a minute. I don't mind dining alone, I mind eating in a restaurant when whoever is with me doesn't eat. It all goes back to 'look at that fat chick eat' thing.

I walked into the restaurant and up to the counter. "Just me" I said. I was handed a beeper and told there was about a 15 minute wait. You can sit in the bar anytime there is an open seat. There weren't any. I did not want to belly up to the bar, but even those were full. I sat and was watching all the people when I realized I wasn't one bit self conscious. I didn't feel odd, or out of place, or anything at all. I just felt hungry! Got to my seat, ordered my food, enjoyed it tremendously. Never once did I feel anyone was staring at me with pity. Oh look at the fat girl, she has to eat alone. Nope, I didn't feel like that. That's not saying they weren't thinking it, but as long as I don't think they're thinking it, life is good! I know I'd not have been able to do this 170 pounds ago. Nope, not in a million years. I've got a long way to go in my weight loss journey still, but I'm comfortable in the skin I've got right now.

I've come a long way baby.