Thursday, April 9, 2009

How to practice safe weighing

I wanted to write about something very important today. It may make some of you uncomfortable, but it really needs to be addressed. Safe weighing. Too many of us are practicing unprotected weighing. Either you don't know the risks, or you're just lost in the passion of the moment and willing to take the chance. So many things can happen. It only takes one mistake and our scales could be ruined.

Here's my new Weight Watcher scale. Oh yes, she's a virgin. She could lose that status in a nanosecond. Some nasty fluid could sneak into her nooks or crannies and she could be ruined forever. Oh, I'm sure the chicken would tell her that he doesn't carry salmonella, but you can't trust those chickens. They're foul creatures. She could become impregnated with some nasty substance. All it would take is one stray drip to clog up her buttons for good. I want to show you all how to protect your scale from unprotected weighing.

You must first begin with the sheath of your choice. A Ziploc bag would be awesome, and they're even ribbed for her pleasure. I didn't have any of those, so I went to plan B.

Remove one of the protectors from the box. Open it up to its full length and slip it gently over the edge of your scale.

When you get to the end of the scale, smooth out the wrinkles and fold the protector around the back and underneath until smooth. Your scale is now prepared for safe weighing. Any stray fluids can be wiped off. Her buttons are protected from being gunked up and future sticking. She should now be safe from disease & impregnation! If the protector becomes too badly soiled to be cleaned. Simply dispose of it properly and apply a fresh one.

Your scale isn't the only thing that can benefit from safety. My baked Tostito's are enjoying the same treatment.

The oranges and mineola's are going bare. They said wearing a protector is like swimming with their socks on. They're whores.

I hope this will help all of you. Accidents can, and do happen. Keep your scale safe. Teach her about safe weighing before it's too late.


  1. This is cute and informative. lol

  2. Why do I think I've just read something really naughty when it's all perfectly clean and innocent?

  3. Ribbed ziplock bags ?!! What a country !

    We Europeans have a lot to learn but then we're still wearing speedos so give us time.

  4. Thank you for the safety message! I usually put a plate on top of my scale, then turn it on so it reads 0 before I add my food.

    :)hehe tj

  5. Hahahahah that was funny!!!:)
    She looks very well "protected" now.

  6. You have a wonderful sense of humor! lol...ribbed ziplock.

    My poor old scale needs to learn a lesson. It's so dirty and definitely not a virgin.

    I will never look at my scale again without thinking of this post. =)

  7. I put a plate on my scale too...but I ALWAYS drop goo on the keys and then they get stuck eventually. I'm a slob, what can I say? lol