Or 'D' day...call it what you will. It's the night I'll have to pull up my big girl panties and get my fat ass on that scale.
It won't be pretty. I guess I'll have to be OK with that as I did make the choice to eat anything that didn't move over the last 2 weeks(and perhaps a few things that did!). I also made the choice to not exercise. Ya, so I'm not so good at making choices. What can I say?
I had a lovely WI of down 3. something or other pounds in FL on Monday, April 27. We went to Outback after that and the binge began. I knew I wasn't going to weigh in on May 4 as we were leaving FL bright and early that day. I knew I was going to start going to meetings the week after we got home and I chose Wednesday. So, that meant that of course, I got to eat whatever I wanted until May 13. I'm sure you all follow that logic right???
It's too hard to exercise when you're traveling right? So, I didn't do that either.
Have I enjoyed my 2 weeks? Hell yes. Am I ready to get back OP? Hell no. I love to eat. I love rich, buttery, cheesy, salty, gooey stuff. If it's got butter, mayo, avocado, cream, insert any high calorie, rich food item here, I like it. I like a lot of it.
Coming back home is very stressful for me. I was shocked to learn that as I've ALWAYS thought I had no stress in my life. I've never suffered from stress. I'm sure I had it, but I just dealt with it. Wow, I'm stressed out to the max. Guess I might be normal after all!
Why stress? Well, in FL I am trailer trash. We live in a tiny little park model. House cleaning takes 5 minutes. I have cards to go to every afternoon and evening if I want. I have Mah Jongg to look forward to a minimum of twice a week. I have 2 lovely pools that I go to daily to float about and chat with friends. I have my golf cart that I love to go for rides on daily to look at the wildlife and fauna. I have a personal trainer that walks me around the gym by the hand and tells me exactly what do do, how many times to do it, and most importantly HOW to do it. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances to chat with. I do what I want when I want. Life is good and easy.
Packing up to leave FL is a PITA. It's a lot of work and of course, since I don't want to come home, it's probably worse in my mind than it really is.
Coming back to MI requires unloading, unpacking, and trying to settle in again. The one good thing about coming home is our son and his family share our house with us. I get to see my grandson every day. I love my daughter in law...(good thing eh???)and it's such a blessing to be able to see her and my son each and every day. We're bad for each other though. She can really cook. My son is a chef. I like to cook and bake. God have mercy on our souls!
I think perhaps I'm a stress cooker. Yesterday I made 2 cheesecakes, triple chunk brownies, homemade bread rolls (they're fantastic, I'm eating one now), BBQ ribs and sinful mashed taters with butter sauteed onions and cream cheese and butter in them. I'm sure there was more, that's just all I can remember right now! Now all that food is here, so we must eat it! We must eat it all before Thursday morning. Oh the pressure!
So, why stress in MI? Well, we work here. We both work at our local Italian restaurant. I'm really very lazy and I don't want to work. Sucks being po folk! I worked last year because I wanted to and it was fun. This year, we be broke. We HAVE to work just to get along. Don't like that at all!!!! I gained 26 pounds last summer working there!!! If you ever get to Houghton Lake, I highly recommend Buccilli's. I love the meat ravioli with meat sauce. It's homemade. Den makes the sauce. I make the salads there. I just don't eat them. That has to change this summer. No more garlic bread. Oh God it's sooooo good. So buttery and wonderful.
I have no games to play here. Nobody to play cards with. Nobody to play Mah Jongg with. Nobody at all. My friends here all work so I don't get to see them. They're busy. I get lonely here in MI. I miss the camaraderie of everyone back in FL.
I have no personal trainer here. I hope I can remember how to do the stuff I need to do and how to do it. I'm scared.
It's hard going from being 2 in a tin box to being 5 in a HUGE house. Did I mention my house here has 6 freaking bedrooms and an attached apartment? My kitchen here is bigger than my living room and kitchen together in FL. My laundry room here is bigger than our 2 bedrooms together in FL. I've got a HUGE yard and several gardens that I'm in charge of here. We don't have yard care in FL. We have no cares in FL!
The kids have had this place to themselves for 7 months. I don't want to get in their way. I want them to have as much privacy as possible. It's hard enough to have a teething baby in the house, never mind having 2 parents there too! I try really hard to not interfere, but it's hard! I'm a mom....when Mason heads for something he shouldn't, out of habit, I'll say 'no no'! It's not my place. I don't want to upset them by correcting the baby. It's just habit and God knows, habits are hard to break! For me anyway. He's such a cute little shit too. He'll do something really bad and it's hard not to laugh. Oh good one Grammy...encourage the bad behavior!
Well, I've definitely rambled here. Sorry about that!
Today, cheesecake, bread, brownies, mashed taters, a bottle of wine & searching for really big, big girl panties.
Tomorrow night WI and copious amounts of alchohol to soothe the pain afterwards.
Thursday morning, back OP.
Thursday sometime, going to the gym.
Getting my poop in a group again.
Wish me luck? Maybe email me some stress drug? Pray for me?
Aw hell, it'll be OK.
I can do it. I can do anything.
A wink and a smile
5 years ago