End of Challenge #3

I was all set to blog about something different today. I then realized, today is the first day of my next challenge. That means, yesterday was the last day of my 3rd monthly challenge to myself! Wow! OK, this has to wait until tomorrow after all!!!

I can't stand it, I have to share this first! I changed my meeting from Tuesday morning, to Monday night. So, last night, I went in all geared up for a gain. We all know we weigh more at night than we do first thing in the morning. I was prepared. I've 'only' been losing a pound or less a week and I knew I weighed a minimum of 2 pounds more at night than in the morning. I might be an English major, but I can do the little math! I was resolved. I wasn't happy about having that + in my book, but hey ho, whatcha gonna do? I walked in, hopped on the scale and I swear to God when she wrote a 7 instead of an 8 as my last number, I got a tear in my eye! I lost 1.2 pounds!!! Holy shit I almost fell off the scale! I got another 5 pound star last night. Drum roll please...I hit my #170 pounds off! Yay me!!!!!

We decided to make Monday night our night out from now on. Den has Monday off. He weighs in here Monday morning and he still has a 'cheat' day. He made it Monday's now since we'll be going out to dinner. We'll go to WW, he'll read a book while I'm in my meeting. We'll do our weekly shopping and we'll have dinner. Lovely evening out for us oldies!

Den was sitting in an easy chair in the vestibule of my meeting place last night waiting for me. It was too hot for him to sit outside and technically it's around the corner so he's not really in the meeting room. I could see him, he could see me. He got to see her give me my star and listen to everything. That was cool.

We went to the Outback after the meeting. I had an amazing meal and I brought half of it home for today. They've got a new menu and we both tried one of the new things. Den had the fried mushrooms and ranch dressing to start. If you've ever had them, they're freaking awesome. I could eat the whole plate. I chose not to have any. I love that I could have them if I wanted on the Weight Watcher plan. I love that it was my choice not to. God I love being in control! He had roast pork tenderloin smothered in some kind of red, cranberry infused sinful sauce. He had garlic mashed potatoes that looked ooey and gooey and green beans. He also ate the whole loaf of crusty, hot, brown bread they bring! He lost 3.4 pounds this week by the way!

I had a combo of filet mignon and shrimp. Oh ya, one wasn't enough! It was to come with rice and mixed grilled veg. The steak, shrimp, veg, and rice all come lathered in butter. Oh it's good, but the 'I don't' want this, and I'll have that's' started right after I said 'I'll have this'! I ordered my steak medium and prepared without butter. I asked for my shrimp to be sans fat and the same for my veg. Skip the rice please as I fancy a baked sweet potato tonight. Make sure it's naked if you will. It was freaking awesome. The steak was tender, juicy, and very very tasty. Shrimp was moist and succulent. Sweet potato was exactly what I've been hungry for with a bit of Splenda on it. Veg...sucked as usual. Hate veg! I brought exactly half of everything home. OK, so I lied. I was celebrating, I ate the 2 mushrooms out of the veg mix and brought all the rest of those home! Hey, one night of no veg isn't going to kill me!!!! Hate the damn things! Oh oh oh I forgot! There were 2 huge chunks of grilled pineapple on the plate. I don't like pineapple. This was awesome!!! I ate one and cut the other one up into little chunks with the veg. They consisted of red peppers, red onions, zucchini, and I think green peppers. I thought that would make an awesome stir fry tonight added to some brown rice.

It was a lovely celebration meal for sure. I sure think I deserved it!

I wonder if doing the happy dance will earn me more AP's???

:-)

Pixie's palate

I've come up with a few good things to eat now and then. Last night wasn't one of them. I thought when I found something not to shabby, I'd share it here.

I wanted a snack after Mass today. I didn't want a fiber one bar and a glass of milk. I didn't want a fruit, and God knows, I didn't want a veg. I wanted something filling. My personal trainer has been harping on me to get more protein in my diet. So I whipped this up.

It wasn't half bad. It's a Boca Burger. Never had one of those puppies before. This one is tomato Parmesan bruschetta or some such nonsense. I cooked it in 1/2 teaspoon of evoo for 4 minutes on each side. Came out crispy. Would I crave one? Ah no. Was it palatable? Yep. I also cooked up 1/2 serving of Ronzoni Smart Pasta...I love that stuff. I don't like whole grain pastas in general. This is good stuff. The sauce is a homemade spaghetti sauce I keep on hand in the freezer. It's got spinach, mushrooms, garlic, onions, all kinds of nifty stuff. I freeze it in 1/2 cup containers and can whip one out when needed. It's at least 1 serving of veg. I count it as 2. Hey, tomato paste is really concentrated and there's some of that in there! I sprinkled 1 tablespoon of Parmesan cheese over the top. It was a total of 4 points. It had 17.5g protein. I forgot to count the fiber...but that would be good too. The Boca Burger had 3.5 and the pasta is high fiber.

Not a bad snackeroonie!

Sedentary epiphany

I'm not any more!

I've been sedentary all my life. Oh, I wasn't bed ridden or anything like that. I did, however, move as little as possible through the day. I had kids just so they'd change the channel on the TV for me and get me soda from the fridge!

I'm still, very very very far from being active, but by golly I'm not sedentary anymore!

This hit me today when I was sweating my ass off on the elliptical. Holy mother of all that is good it was hot in there today. At one point, a sweat droplet went all the way down my nose and I accidentally snuffed it up. Oh goodie...let's snort salty liquid while on a machine where both of my hands are busy. Think getting salt water up your nose in the ocean. What does that do? Produces mass quantities of snot that's what! Thank goodness the spigot didn't begin to run.

I got such a high thinking about not being sedentary, I started to think of ways to put more movement in my days. I'm going to start that right away.

After my nap.

It's freaking hot here.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

My Dad would have been 91 today. He was an amazing man. I was, of course, Daddy's (not so) little girl. He passed away 4 years ago. Every year since then I've had lemon meringue pie on his birthday. It was his favorite. I definitely could have done that this year too but I chose not to. You can see pictures of him on my other blog if you'd like. I think he was a handsome man!

One of his other favorites was pizza. What a coinky dink, I've been hungry for pizza! So, tonight, instead of lemon meringue pie, I lifted a slice of pizza pie in Dad's honor. OK, I lifted 3 of those bad boys! I was going to have a beer with it as he'd have had. I forgot to put it in the fridge and frankly, I'd rather use the points on something else!

It was actually awesome. I usually get the personal pan pizza for 13.5 points. I decided to try the thin and crispy crust tonight for 4 points a slice. I liked it. Crust was thin and crispy and not one iota of grease was on my fingers. I got ham, mushrooms, and black olives. You could really load this up with the 'free' veggies. Gag me. If I'm eating pizza, I'm eating what I like and I don't like veggies! So, I had 3 slices for a total of 12 points. I give it a yum for sure. Daddy would have given it a yum also. Happy birthday Daddy!

Are you on a diet?

I keep getting asked that.

In the past, I always said 'why yes, I'm on Weight Watchers'. I don't do that anymore. As I blogged the other day, I no longer have the diet mentality. I'm, for the first time in my life, not on a diet. I'm practicing healthy eating and activities. I will be doing this the rest of my life. So, no, I'm not on a diet anymore.

I loved a while ago when someone said they weren't losing weight as when we lose things, we sometimes find them again. They said they were getting rid of weight. I plan on getting rid of bad habits.

I really, really, loved the very first blog of this guy where he used the word 'girthitude'. I laughed hard.

So, for me, no, I'm not on a diet anymore.

I'm practicing girth control!

:-)

Are you committed?

Or are you just involved?

I've never thought about it until just a minute ago.

Whilst perusing a very old Reader's Digest, I came across this little tidbit.

When you have ham and eggs for breakfast, the chicken is involved. The pig, on the other hand, is totally committed.

Made me laugh out loud. In the bathroom. I'm sure the people next door think I'm nuts as they were outside their motor home doing something. I could hear them talking, so I'm sure they could hear me. Gotta love living the trailer trash life! Anyhooooooo, after the chuckle, it got me thinking about our weight loss journeys.

For the past number of years I've been involved in weight loss. I dabbled at it. I'd go whole hog for a while and then slack off. I never, ever took it seriously. I never did it as a life style. It was always a diet. I did what I needed to do to lose weight. I guess I figured once I lost it I'd magically not have to think about it ever again. Earth to Debby!

Since January, I've been totally committed and not just involved. I never cared about losing weight for my health. I was the healthiest fat person you'd ever want to meet. I just wanted a smokin' bod. I'd still love a smokin' bod, but at 50 I'm not sure who I'd heat up with it! I want what is healthy for my body now. I'm sure I sound like I'm nagging my friends, but I want what is healthy for them too. There are so many things we do to our bodies that are so bad for them. We all should try to do a little bit of good for the poor old things now. It's the only body we have after all.

These questions are for me as well as you.

Do you get up in the morning and not eat for hours? If you do, stop it. It's not good for your body. It hurts your heart. You need that for stuff!

Do you exercise for your prescribed time a few times a week and then sit on your lazy duff the rest of the time? If you do, stop it. It's not good for you. Again, our heart needs activity and we need our hearts!

Do you eat tons of food at a sitting and go long periods of time between meals? Stop it! Your body needs a steady stream of food all day long. It doesn't need to think you're starving it between meals. It really doesn't need to starve all day long and be fed a feast at 9PM just before going to bed either!

Are you eating processed stuff? White rice, white bread etc? If you are, stop it! It's got no health benefit. We need to switch to the whole grain stuff. Just because your bread says 'wheat' doesn't make it good for you either. If your bread says enriched, it's not whole grain. It does nothing for you. It might have fiber, big deal. White bread and white rice and regular pasta etc lowers our good cholesterol and it raises our bad. Is that what we want for our bods? I think not. Don't we want to put things in our body that will help it and not hurt it? This was the hardest thing for me to change. I love squishy white bread. I love white rice. Pasta is my friend. I hate whole grain bread. Brown rice sucks. Whole wheat pasta? Gag me with a freaking fork. I made the change because it was good for me. If I keep at it long enough, my tastes will change. I have complete faith in that.

Do you eat your vegetables? If not, do it. They're good for you. Think rainbow. Incorporate all different colors. You don't like the taste? You don't like the texture? Suck it up Buttercup, they're good for you. I hate veggies. Pretty much all of them. Corn is OK. Oh, they fatten pigs on that you say? It turns to sugar in your body instead of something good? Ya, well, that's probably why I like it! I eat veggies because my body needs them. I don't enjoy them, in fact, I pretty much loathe them. I'm a big girl. I eat them because I need to. Do you think you can eat 5 servings of fruit instead of your veggies? Think again. You can't. God I wish I could!

Are you getting the calcium you need? Are you getting the protein you need? Do you get the healthy oil you need each day? I wasn't. I've learned so much in the past few months.

Don't even get my started on hydrogenated oils and trans fats! Ya, I know, something is going to kill us.....I just don't want it to be something I'm eating if I have alternatives. I've switched from coffee mate to fat free dry milk. Does it taste the same? Hell no. Will I get used to it? I hope so. Fat free dry milk is trans fat free. There are no hydrogenated oils in it. It counts as one of my milks for the day. It's a win win situation for my body.

Does all that planning sound like a lot of work? It is. I think the benefits are worth it. I have faith that it'll become second nature to me and it won't be like work to plan my food for the day.

I sounded like a school teacher there. I'm passionate about the subject.

Class dismissed.

If I were playing horseshoes

I would be such a freaking winner! Too damn bad I'm not playing horseshoes!

As y'all know, this morning was my WI. I wanted 3 pounds off. It's been 2 weeks as we were in Key West last week and the meeting there didn't accept my monthly pass so I couldn't go. I didn't think 3 pounds off in two weeks was too much to ask. I'd have been happy with 2. Did I get that? Nope. Got 1.2. Ya, a loss is a loss....and it is on a normal week. This wasn't a normal week.

I wanted 2 pounds as that would have given me my 170 pounds off. Well boys and girls, let's wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first shall we? OK, that's gross, my Dad used to say that. It is quite true though. I can wish for what I want all day long but I'm only going to get what I'm going to get.

In the last 2 weeks I was totally OP. Nary a binge. I didn't even sneak tastes of the cake at my brothers. I exercised 6 days a week. I'm doing my strength training. I can only do what I can only do. Do I want results faster? Hell yes. Am I getting them? Hell no.

So, little miss Pixie sunshine has to find the silver lining. I'm cool like that. I can piss and moan, but in the end, I need to be positive. It's what I am. Is there one this week? You bet your ass there is.

I lost 1.2 pounds this week. What did that do? Well, it put me in Onederland that's what. For you non Weight Watcher people, it means my fat ass finally dipped under 200 pounds. I almost missed that accomplishment in my pissed offedness at not losing 2 pounds. It didn't hit me until this afternoon what a huge thing that was. So, I shall revel in that this week and work hard for a 1 pound loss next week to get my 170 pounds off.

Gimme, gimme, gimme. I want more! Will I wish for it? Nope, I'll work for it!

I'm hiding a multitude of sins

Every morning when I put my clothes on!

There have been a lot of posts lately on the 200+ WW board talking about self loathing. It hurts me so much to hear the low self esteem a lot of people have. I am sure a lot of people would consider me conceited, but when I look in the mirror I can always find something I like. I keep encouraging the others to do likewise.

That being said, and it was, I had the occasion the other day to be naked in front of the mirror. I'm on a beach get away weekend and staying at a lovely hotel that has a gym. My only amenity requirement when my friend was booking the hotel was a gym. We went down to use the gym and I, on the advice of my personal trainer (la di dah eh???), have cut my elliptical workout to 30 minutes at a higher resistance for now. Friend does 60 minutes on the treadmill. I finished up, did my stretches and headed back to the room for a shower that I knew I could finish before he finished his 60 minutes on the TM. So, got to the room, stripped naked, and the phone rang. It was my daughter in law. The one that just had the preemie baby, just getting back from the baby's check up. I of course had to take the call. I'm not a sitter downer when I'm on the phone, I'm a pacer. So there I was, pacing all over the room naked when I happened to notice a full length mirror. Good Lord help me, I looked.

It was not a pretty sight. I'm listening to her tell me all the stats on both babies while watching myself in the mirror doing different things with my saggy body parts at the same time. I found if I swung my arm fast enough, the flab under the arm could almost rise up and touch my shoulder. I'm sure I could give someone a nasty smack with it if they got close enough! I noticed I had a nice waist, or so I thought. It really isn't that nice, it's just that the tummy flap, cottage cheese thighs, and hips are so big and globular, they made the waist look positively svelte! That's when it hit me. I don't like everything I see when I look in the mirror, but I always find something I do like. I just don't always focus on the bad junk.

No amount of exercise is going to take away that belly flap, those arm bat wings, or those mountainous thighs. After I finish my weight loss journey, I will have lost well over 200 pounds. I'm 50 years old. My skin is just NOT going to go back where it should. So I don't look at those things. I cover them up! Accentuate the positive you know?

I might be saggy and baggy and resemble an old elephant, but that loose skin isn't as full of fat as it used to be. Does it look like shit? Hell yes, but it looks a lot better than it did when it was stuffed with 165 pounds of fat!

I took a towel and covered myself from the cleavage to the thighs. I didn't hate what I saw. So, there you go. If you're suffering from self loathing, just don't look at the stuff you hate! Maybe your face is smooth, look at it and love it. Maybe you have gorgeous hair (I wish I did), run your fingers through it and revel in it's luxuriant gloriousness. Are your eyes to die for? Focus on them. I'm sure every single one of us has something we don't hate.

That's what we all need to focus on. Do what we can to fix the stuff we don't like, but enjoy the journey and love ourselves on the way.

Hooray for very supportive bras and tight jeans!

Oh ya, and 3/4 sleeves!

Long may things flop, and long may I cover them up!

Another virgin experience

I want to let you all know that I've had yet another first. Papa and I went to Key West for a 3 day visit with my brothers. I planned ahead and prepared. We left Monday morning at 8am. I got up early and was at the gym at 6am. I took my 4 mile WATP DVD with me...and I did it too! I took my healthy snacks. I took my breakfast already made up for the 3 days. I took my lunch stuff. I was so good! Did I mention we stopped off in Miami on the way home and had dinner with my gorgeous youngest son and his beautiful girlfriend? Oh ya, we did. We ate at P.F. Changs and again, I planned ahead. I was so proud of myself! I didn't have my laptop with me to track online. Did that stop me? Nope, I wrote everything down. I took my dining out book, my food companion, my points calculator. Rockin' it old school...that's what that was!

We got home Wednesday night and I tried to get online Thursday morning but my laptop was fried. I had to restore to factory so lost everything. Pissed me off as I've been tracking my exercise on a spreadsheet and I'd not backed it up. I tried to re-create it today. I made a good start. I also backed it up on my external hard drive!!!

I went to the gym Thursday in the middle of all that. She worked me hard. I loved it.

It's Friday and I'm on another excursion right now. We're in Ft. Pierce and I'm having my birthday weekend gift. I was 50 in October and my friend gave me a beach weekend. I brought all my stuff for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. I asked that he get a place with a gym. We got here at 2 and by 3 I was on the elliptical. Oh ya, who's in control of her fat self??? I AM!!! In the past this would have been a whole week free pass to eat. It still is. A whole week free pass to eat the stuff that makes my body and my soul feel good! I've planned in treats...I definitely won't be deprived! I'm having pizza this weekend and it's going to be awesome.

I just can't wait for my WI on Tuesday!!!

Cleaning house

Sometimes, no matter how much we don't wanna, it's gotta be done.

No, I'm not talking about actual house cleaning. I'm talking about getting rid of the clutter in my life that is hampering my weight loss. It was time to do that and nobody was going to do it for me. Damn those Merry Maids...they said no!

I'm getting a certain amount of grief for my decision. A lot of skepticism, a bit of laughing at. I don't really give a rats ass. I'm being totally selfish and doing what's right for me at this time. I'm so worth the effort.

As most of you know I've been at this weight loss thing a long time. All my life in fact. I've been fat since first grade. I've never, ever lost the weight. I hear a lot of women say they used to be thin. I've heard some say they lost weight, got down to a small size, and gained it all back. Not me. I started growing at age 5 and kept on accumulating fat! Once I had it, I wasn't giving it back! Greedy bitch eh?

When we clean house, sometimes we just give it a lick and a promise. That's how I was treating my weight loss journey. I was 'good' when it suited me, and when it didn't, I was really, really bad! It took me 50 years to realize that approach just wasn't going to work any more! Doh, talk about hard headed. Sometimes I just don't want to believe what I know in my heart though. I knew what needed to be done, I just wasn't ready to do it. I am now.

I'll get my house all cleaned up and looking good, and then a few days later there's clutter again and I have to start all over. Just like cleaning house, my weight loss journey is going to be a never ending task.

I started in January with these challenges to myself. It's my way of cleaning house. Lately, I've had to move the proverbial sofa out of the way and clean behind it too. I've had to dig further into things that were hampering my weight loss effort and get rid of them. As I said earlier, I'm taking flack for some of my decisions.

I used to play cards every single night. I loved it and I do miss it. Problem was the time. I had to be there at 6PM to play cards. That meant I needed to eat dinner by 5PM, which in turn meant I had to start preparing dinner around 4PM. I started to feel like I should just eat dinner when I got up in the morning and get it over with! I enjoy my food. I don't want to rush through it for goodness sakes! I made the decision to give up cards for now. It's been so freeing knowing that I've got all day to just focus on me, on what I want. My card playing cronies are not happy! Not a day goes by that I don't hear it from someone. It's nice to be missed though! They don't like it but they'll have to get over it. I'm doing what I want now. Yep, it's all about me.

I got myself a personal trainer. Most of my friends think it's just plain silly. No, it's not. I've already learned so much and I've got about 17 sessions more. Could I afford it? Heck no. It's cost me going to see my new granddaughter in fact. A heavy price to be sure, but I think it's worth it. I was killing myself in the gym and it wasn't working. I needed to find out why. I'm doing that. I have friends that say 'oh I just walk or do water aerobics and that's just fine'. OK, if that's just fine for you, go for it. It's not fine for me. I want to do what's healthy for my body and my mind and walking or doing water aerobics isn't going to cut it for me. It's not aerobic enough for me. Might be just fine for you, but it's not for me. Do what's right for you and leave me the hell alone to do what's right for me. Don't pooh pooh what I'm learning, and doing as wrong because you don't want to do it!

The biggest thing I had to get rid of, well it's a tie actually. I needed to give up my 'no rules day' & eating in my recliner.

I thought it would be so hard to not have a no rules day. Who would have thought it actually gives me more freedom???? You see I never used my 35 extra points during the week as I took one day and ate whatever I wanted. Now that I've cut that out, I have these extra points to use anytime I want. I can get to the end of the day and have used my 24 points and still be hungry. Before, I would just go to bed! Now, if I'm truly hungry, I can have something. It's so freeing to know that. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A lot of my friends say they don't use their flex points and tell me I'm going to gain weight by using them. In the next breath, they'll say oh I don't count the creamer I put in my coffee or I don't count the oil I make my popcorn with. Hello, just because you don't count it doesn't mean it doesn't count! I'm doing what's right for me. If I find it doesn't work, I'll go to plan B. Right now, it's working.

I have eaten every meal since 2005 in my recliner. I sat at night to watch TV and I was hungry all night long. Doh, do you think maybe sitting all night in the place you eat might make your mind associate that chair with food? I know for a fact that it did. I don't feel hungry all night long now. What a boon that is!!! It's a pain sometimes for sure. We'll be watching a movie and they'll have snacks. I keep getting, 'don't you want a snack'? Well, as a matter of fact yes I do. Why don't you just stop the movie so I can go out to the lanai and have one?? They think it's silly as I get 'oh, you're still not eating in your chair?' I can hear the...not sure what word to use here...sarcasm or skepticism I guess. They think it's silly and a dumb thing. It's not. It's working. It did just what I wanted it to do. It's so hard to sit there all night long fighting hunger. I don't have to do that now.

I so love it when a plan comes together. I'm coming up on 3 months of my plan coming together. Maybe after a year, the people that are laughing at me now won't be laughing. I'm sure more cleaning will be needed. Might need to start on the windows next. I'm ready to do what needs to be done.

Siezed up tighter than a drum

That was something my Daddy used to say a lot. Usually when he couldn't get a screw unscrewed or something like that.

Today it applies to my joints. My thighs, my knees, and oh yes, did I mention I felt an ab today? I know it was an ab as it hurt like hell in the region she pointed to the day she told me I was working said abs! OMG I'm in misery. Lowering myself is excruciating. How many times a day would I really need to lower myself? Picture me, living in FL where it's hot, drinking lots of water. Got the picture? I'm in agony I tell you!

I was supposed to go to the gym today. I called and cancelled. I mean really, I can't lower myself so that leaves squats out. I hurt my knee yesterday so it crunches today...so that leaves any knee stuff out. I could probably move my left arm...but why bother? No, I decided today was a day off. I tried to go for a stroll...we got maybe 1/2 a mile...I said forget it. Felt like a robot! So today is my day off. I sure hope my parts are movable tomorrow! I've heard of no pain no gain, but give me a break!!!

Tomorrow I will be back on the elliptical. Next Thursday I'll be back at the gym. I think perhaps I'll have a chat with my trainer about what I really want out of her training. I just want to strengthen muscles. I don't want to bench press a Buick or anything! I'm 50 years old...I just wanna be semi healthy. I need something that is sustainable. This won't be. She's going to need to train me in things that don't require a gym.

Oh God...I just remembered the dreaded plank position doesn't require a gym.

Have mercy on my soul.

Angel in disguise

Just so you all know, my personal trainer really is a sweetie. She's really not Zuul. I told her today I called her Zuul at home. Sighhhhh she's so young she didn't get my Ghost Buster's reference. I splained it to her though.

That being said. She kicked my ass again today. I could never be on the Biggest Loser as during one of the things she made me do today, I nearly cried. If I were on BL I'd be snotting and bawling all over the place for sure.

We started with squats. Of course 'we' had a heavy pole on our shoulders. We thought we were going to die as 'we've' never done a squat in our life! OK, enough of this 'we' stuff...it's all about ME!!! My thighs are on fire I tell ya!

We did some other stuff, then she decided it was time to work on my abs. Again, I don't know that I actually have an ab...but she wanted to work it anyway. So off to this board we go. I get to lay down on the board with all the blood rushing to my head. Did I mention this board was on an angle? Well, it is. So now I have to put my knees over one set of rubber rollers and my legs under the other one. I get to cross my hands over my chest. I thought this appropriate as I'm pretty sure I'm going to die so I might as well assume the pose first. I now get to raise my fat self up off this board and lower back down, hence, working my abs. Um OK that hurt. A lot. It hurt my hips. She didn't understand this. I told her it was because my thighs are so fat they just don't go that close together. She laughed. I had to convince her I wasn't kidding. So we went to plan B. Oh God help me! Plan B was the 'elbow bridge plank'. In case you don't know what that is, this will show you. I managed to get myself up and then she said we were going to hold it for 30 seconds! Again with this 'we' shit! My arms trembled, sweat literally poured off my forehead. I think I broke a blood vessel in my brain. I slumped back to the mat with relief when it was over. I was of course informed I was going to do this 2 more times!!!! I've never done anything so hard in my life. Never. Childbirth was easier. I am so freaking out of shape. This is when Zuul gave me what I needed. She wasn't tough, she was encouraging. She told me how good I was doing, how strong I was. A line of bullshit? Yep, but it's what I needed to hear. It got me back up off that mat for the 3rd and final time. I held my plank pose until I couldn't hold it no mo.

Thank the Lord for all that is good. From the plank, I got to go get on the elliptical for 25 minutes. Did I sweat? Hell yes. Was it hard? Hell yes. Did I get my heart rate up and breath hard? Hell yes. Would I do 3 hours on that elliptical rather than 10 seconds more of a plank? OH HELL YES!!!

So, I lived through another day at the gym. I have such huge respect for the working people that are trying to lose weight and exercise. I just don't know how you do it. Right now this is my job. It's all consuming. It seems I don't have time for anything else other than meal planning, meal eating, gym, 10,000 steps, yada, yada, yada. I can't imagine how I'll fit it all in when I get back to Michigan and work an 8 hour day! Ah well, one day at a time!

Get off of my cloud

I want to revel in my 2.4 pound loss this week.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme more! Yes, I know it may be a one hit wonder, but it feels so damn good. I've felt this a few times over the last month only to have my hopes dashed against the rocks the next week when I show a gain. I'm hoping with the help and input of my trainer, I might finally be doing the Loco-Motion. I've felt All Shook Up, I've felt Joy To The World. I've tried not to think One Bad Apple might spoil my whole weight loss effort. I want to feel Good Vibrations and not have that darn scale say Go Away Little Girl. There's been no Hanky Panky and I am a Hard Headed Woman so I hope that's enough to grant me the Satisfaction to get me to Paradise. I've been a Wild Thing at the gym. I deserve to be that Pretty Woman. It's My Party boys and girls and I'm A Believer. Right now there Ain't No Mountain High Enough to stop me. I'm staying away from the Sugar Shack for sure. Gypsy's Tramps & Theives won't get in my way.

I'm Do Wah Diddy Diddy done now.

So, what's on your play list?

Who ya gonna call?

Ghost Busters you bet your ass!!!

Why? You might ask. It would be a valid question. Let me tell you.

As you may remember, today was day number 2 with (the bitch from hell) my personal trainer. My good friend Clair calls her Zuul. I thought it appropriate. I'm positive when my eyes are shut in pain, or blinded by sweat, her eyes glow red. She had her hair up in a top knot today...I'm sure it was to hide the horns. I'm thinking she's really Gozer, the Destructor. I know exactly where I'd point one of those nifty packs the Ghost Buster's carried for sure!

Anyhooooo I arrived at the gym right on time. Don't want to piss her off you know. She looked over my food journal and declared it OK. Of course it's OK! I know more about nutrition than most nutritionists for goodness sakes. She said 'let's get started'. I hopefully said 'we're going to work different muscles today aren't we?" She said 'a few'. Oh God have mercy on my soul. I whimpered 'we're not going to begin with push ups are we?'. 'Oh no' she said. 'Whew' I replied. I swear she grinned with glee when she said 'we're going to start with pull ups'! WTF???? You want me to pull THIS up???? Helloooooo I need a crane for that!!!! So I did 12 pull ups.

She took me from there over to a machine that was to work my....arms I'm guessing? I had to sit down, put my foot on a bar to pull the arm pads forward. Reach up with elbows bent, boobs thrust forward, and grasp the bars. I looked like someone was standing behind me with a gun saying 'stick 'em up!'. It hurt already and I hadn't done anything yet. She said 'OK, now bring your arms together'. OK , I thought. Nothing happened. I tried again. I willed my arms to come together. So simple really. Just push those pads until they touch. Nope, nothing happened. I couldn't budge those bitches. She had no pity. 'C'mon, you can do it.' Um, no, I can't. So I did 12 of those.

Went back and did 12 more pull ups.

Went back and did 12 more of the funky chicken things. Not very well, I have no upper arm strength at all it seems.

Yawn, 12 more pull ups.

Somehow I did 12 more of those arm things. It was so very hard and I didn't do it well. I did do it though.

Oh now let's work the legs shall we? Sit on this machine, lift the bar. Sounds easy. Wasn't. Bar was in front of my leg. I had to push it up and then guide it down. I'm sure she had 100 pounds on it. I of course did 12.

Oh now let's lay on the floor in this machine shall we? Lift our legs into the air and place our feet on this platform. It's going to work my hamstrings. Push the fucking heavy thing way up...then lower your legs to your chest. Excuse me? Did you say lower my thighs to my chest? Helloooooooo if I could do that I wouldn't be here. So I did that 12 times.

Now move your feet to a different position. This is going to work my inner thighs. Push the platform. Do it 12 times. Did your thighs touch your chest? Do it again if not. Hell my thighs touched my chest when my feet were up in the air. I was covered there!

Went to a platform where I stood on my tippy toes and then lowered my heels way below the platform. OK, I like that one. I can do it and I can do it good. 12 if you please.

Repeat those things 2 more times. Three is the magic number after all. Do you know how hard it is not to fart when you're lowering your thighs to your chest? Note to self. No Fiber One bars before gym day!

I was never so happy to hear Gozer, I mean Aime, say 'OK, let's go do your cardio'!!! I'm comfortable with that. I sweat, I breath hard, but I can do it and I can do it good. We upped the resistance today and of course increased the time by 5 minutes.

Bring it on bitch. I can take whatever you dole out!!!

I don't hurt tonight.

I did what she wanted me to do.

I've had a perfect eating OP week.

That fucking scale better reflect my work tomorrow.

I have muscles THERE???

OMG...it hurts to type. Yes, I'm not lying or exaggerating. Whatever muscles are directly above my boobs hurt like hell. I can feel the strain just typing.

Did I mention today was my first day with the devil incarnate, I mean my personal trainer? Well, it was.

I've been doing really well with the aerobic exercise. I thought it was time to add strength training. I haven't a clue what to do, how much to do, hence the personal trainer.

I arrived at 10:05AM for my 10:15AM session. I was excited. I was going to learn stuff. OMG how naive could I have been?

We headed out to the gym floor and Aime (devil) said 'we'll start with push ups'. Um? Excuse me, I said? I thought you said push ups. So, we did push ups. Now I'm 50 years old and I can honestly say I've never done a push up. I did try a week or so ago. Silverback can attest to that. We were on the floor of the lanai trying to do push ups. He succeeded, I did not. Aime had me lean against a bar that was attached to some other instrument of torture that held a lot of weights. That bar was about 4 foot off the floor I guess. She had me stretch my legs way out behind me and then she said 'lower yourself to the bar'. With trembling arms I lowered myself to the bar. Were we done? Oh no we were not. "Now push yourself up'. I did it. I was OK with that and then the devil said 'we're going to do 12 of these'. Holy shit I thought I was going to faint! I did about 4 before the sweat beads started to pop. By the time I hit 7 even my legs were complaining. I did complete 12 though! I stood up and fully expected praise, or at the very least, a cookie or something as a reward! What did I get? 'Come on over here and we're going to do some bicep curls.

Oh that was a joy. She grabbed 2 weights off the rack and showed me how to do them. Looked easy enough. She handed me the weights and I think my arms lengthened a foot or so. They felt like 50 pounds each. I asked how heavy they were. 8 pounds she said. I think she was a lying bitch. I know they weighed at least 30 pounds by the time I finished 12 curls.

Now the evil one grabbed what I thought was a broom stick. She asked if I'd ever gone canoeing. I said yes. She said 'we're just going to paddle our canoe'. OK, what's this 'our' shit Kemo Sabe? I'm doing all the work and you're watching me. So what if you're pregnant, you should at least be doing part of these for me! She showed me how to paddle and then handed me the broom stick. Broomstick my fat ass. It was a 15 pound pole! I told her that would sink my canoe. She didn't think it was funny. She of course counted to 12. I could hear things in my shoulder crunch. She actually leaned in and heard it too. Did I get to quit? Nope.

Now we moved over to a machine to work my legs. Oh that sounded nice. I get to sit down, the machine will do the work right? Um, not so much. I had a difficult time getting my feet under the bars they were supposed to go under. I thought that was the exercise! Oh I wish. Raise your leg she says. I do. No, really, she says...raise your legs! So now I have to make like a frigging Rockette with 40 pound bags of QuickCrete strapped to her legs! I have to go slow on the way down. No use only feeling pain on the way up right? The magic number was of course 12. I did them.

I hobbled off that machine thrilled that we were done. She'd said those were the only things we were going to do. I was thinking naps, snacks, Jacuzzis. She said OK, let's start back at the beginning. We're going to do 3 sets of all these. WTF??? I swear her eyes glowed red when she said it. I know there was an evil cackle just waiting to spill forth when I was panting too hard to hear it. Around the circuit I went again. Twice more to be exact. I hurt in places I didn't even know I had. At one point she said 'Think of the Biggest Loser'. I stopped what I was doing and said 'This is why I WATCH the Biggest Loser and I'm not ON it!!! I finished that last push up knowing I was really done this time. I was sweating. I was trembling. My legs felt like rubber. I was waiting for my pat on the head. I got it. She did say I did excellent.

Then the evil one said 'OK now we'll work on cardio'!!!!! She put me on the elliptical, set the difficulty to 5, whatever the hell that means. She made sure I was working at 85% of my...hell I don't know, something or other to do with my heart. Told me to do 20 minutes and she'd see me Monday. She left me there to die! I know she did.

I didn't die. I will be there on Monday. I did everything she gave me to do. I'm really proud of myself. I didn't think I could do it and I did.

Someone lost 4 pounds 11 ounces

Nope, wasn't me.

I'm a Grammy again!!! My daughter in law lost 4 pounds 11 ounces this morning and brought forth Paige Abigail Braman. Seventeen inches of lovely granddaughter.

Mama and baby seem to be doing well. Baby is not on any outside support system. Not bad for 5 weeks early I'd say! Hopefully pics to follow.

Grammy Braman is thankful and excited. I want to be there to hold her in my arms.

I'm off to the gym to celebrate!!!!!!

Third time is a charm

Today is the first day of my 3rd challenge to myself. I'll get it right or die trying! I'm changing it from a 30 day challenge, to a 28 day one. Fits in better with WI's and knowing how things are working I think.

What little goodies have I come up with for my next challenge? Well settle down with your Oreo's and milk and I'll tell you. Wait, rewind. Settle down with your carrot sticks, sugar free Jell-O, and flavored water. I still go with the old adage of 'if it's not broke, don't fix it'. So, what has worked really well in the last 2 challenges, I shall keep. What new thing shall I add for this month? Hmmmmmmmm let me think.

Last week was my first week of using my Flex points the way they were meant to be used. I spread them out over the week instead of using them all in one day with a no rules day. I stayed the same this week at my WI. That was very disappointing as I'm working so hard, but it's going to take more research to find out what the block is. I don't think it's the diet, I think it's the exercise. So, I'm going to make one of my challenges to stay totally OP for 28 days. That means no 'no rules' days in that month. This will definitely be a first!

Not eating in my recliner has been a challenge, but I think it's a beneficial thing for me. So, I'll keep it for the next month.

Exercise. This is where I'm a bit wishy washy. I doubled my exercise for the last 30 days. I did a minimum of 60 minutes a day for 6 days a week. I don't know how much exercise I should be doing. Is that too much? Is it not enough? Is it sustainable? I don't think it will be when I get home.

I stopped at the fitness center at the hospital yesterday on my way home from my meeting. I want to start incorporating strength training in my exercise routine. No, I don't want to bulk up, but I do want my body to work efficiently. I've done a lot of reading about building strength, and yes, muscle, and it's all good. We've got machines here at the park in the gym, but I don't know the proper form or even how long to use the machines. I've asked several of the people that do use them, and get all different answers. If I'm going to do this, I want to do it right. So, I've made the huge decision to join the fitness center for 2 months. It's a lot of money that I don't really have, I can't argue that. Yes, I could flounder around and figure it out on my own. Ultimately, what I want is to be an efficient, fat burning, heart healthy, machine. I don't mind working hard. I mind working hard and having it not be what is right for my body. Just in the few minutes talking to the trainer yesterday, I got the impression that I'm doing too much. That might not be worded correctly, but I think I could be exercising too hard for too long a time in the wrong percentage of heart rate. Obviously I'm doing something wrong as you can't monitor your diet as much as I am, AND work as hard at the gym as I am and still either gain weight or stay the same. NO, that sucks and is NOT acceptable. So, I'm going to learn the right way to do it. I'll know if it's the right way at the end of the next 28 days if the scale budges. So, to make a long story longer, my exercise part of the challenge for right now is to do a minimum of 30 minutes of aerobic activity 3 days a week and to do strength training 3 days a week. I'm joining the gym tomorrow, and have my first session on Friday. If she says I should be doing more or less, I'll alter my challenge then.

1. Stay OP for 28 days straight.

2. Do Not eat in my recliner.

3. Exercise aerobically a minimum of 30 minutes 3 times a week. Strength train 2-3 times a week.

I think this is enough for the next 28 days for now.

If it doesn't kill me it'll make me stronger right?

Two days left

Tomorrow and Tuesday and that's the end of my 2nd 30 day challenge. I've rocked it too! I'll have to start working on my next one!

Today at the gym I did my first mile in 15.48, my second mile came at 31.17. I got all excited at my 3rd mile....shoved my fist into the air and hollered 'F me sideways'. Please feel free to use your imagination on what the 'F' stood for. I quickly looked around to make sure I was alone in the gym. I was. I now, however, can't remember the time I hit mile 3 at! I finished my hour with 3.80 on Clyde. A new record for me I think. Got Bonnie hopping today too. Ya, it's going fabulous.

I had a wonderful dinner last night using some of my flex points. I used some more today. This is the first time I've spread them out over the week. I like it. I'll be doing it again for sure.

60 days of being OP will be a record for me. A HUGE record. Makes me want to go for 90!

I think I shall.