Saturday, March 21, 2009

I'm hiding a multitude of sins

Every morning when I put my clothes on!

There have been a lot of posts lately on the 200+ WW board talking about self loathing. It hurts me so much to hear the low self esteem a lot of people have. I am sure a lot of people would consider me conceited, but when I look in the mirror I can always find something I like. I keep encouraging the others to do likewise.

That being said, and it was, I had the occasion the other day to be naked in front of the mirror. I'm on a beach get away weekend and staying at a lovely hotel that has a gym. My only amenity requirement when my friend was booking the hotel was a gym. We went down to use the gym and I, on the advice of my personal trainer (la di dah eh???), have cut my elliptical workout to 30 minutes at a higher resistance for now. Friend does 60 minutes on the treadmill. I finished up, did my stretches and headed back to the room for a shower that I knew I could finish before he finished his 60 minutes on the TM. So, got to the room, stripped naked, and the phone rang. It was my daughter in law. The one that just had the preemie baby, just getting back from the baby's check up. I of course had to take the call. I'm not a sitter downer when I'm on the phone, I'm a pacer. So there I was, pacing all over the room naked when I happened to notice a full length mirror. Good Lord help me, I looked.

It was not a pretty sight. I'm listening to her tell me all the stats on both babies while watching myself in the mirror doing different things with my saggy body parts at the same time. I found if I swung my arm fast enough, the flab under the arm could almost rise up and touch my shoulder. I'm sure I could give someone a nasty smack with it if they got close enough! I noticed I had a nice waist, or so I thought. It really isn't that nice, it's just that the tummy flap, cottage cheese thighs, and hips are so big and globular, they made the waist look positively svelte! That's when it hit me. I don't like everything I see when I look in the mirror, but I always find something I do like. I just don't always focus on the bad junk.

No amount of exercise is going to take away that belly flap, those arm bat wings, or those mountainous thighs. After I finish my weight loss journey, I will have lost well over 200 pounds. I'm 50 years old. My skin is just NOT going to go back where it should. So I don't look at those things. I cover them up! Accentuate the positive you know?

I might be saggy and baggy and resemble an old elephant, but that loose skin isn't as full of fat as it used to be. Does it look like shit? Hell yes, but it looks a lot better than it did when it was stuffed with 165 pounds of fat!

I took a towel and covered myself from the cleavage to the thighs. I didn't hate what I saw. So, there you go. If you're suffering from self loathing, just don't look at the stuff you hate! Maybe your face is smooth, look at it and love it. Maybe you have gorgeous hair (I wish I did), run your fingers through it and revel in it's luxuriant gloriousness. Are your eyes to die for? Focus on them. I'm sure every single one of us has something we don't hate.

That's what we all need to focus on. Do what we can to fix the stuff we don't like, but enjoy the journey and love ourselves on the way.

Hooray for very supportive bras and tight jeans!

Oh ya, and 3/4 sleeves!

Long may things flop, and long may I cover them up!


  1. Another great post. I am smiling as always. I agree, if you don't like something focus on what you do like about yourself. :)

  2. Debby, Debby, Debby, I so love your enthusiasm. Sure wish you lived closer! I love your attitude and am going to try and take your advice and start looking at the good things and covering up the bad. I mean, I hate the way I look in the mirror now, so why not hate the way I look in the mirror later and be healthier and more active and in smaller sizes. You are great girl! Keep it up!

  3. What a fanastic attitude you have. You really set a good example in so many ways.

    I would much rather have loose skin that fat-filled skin, too.

    Thanks for a healthy dose of positive this morning!

  4. Love your post and the positive thoughts, and you have a lovely smile too! Don't think you mentioned that in your post.

    I try to 'love' my body and myself for what it is. When you do and truly appreciate what you have (are given with), you want to give it the best food and nutrients, improve its appearance and health, and want nothing but the best for it :D

  5. Love you positive attitude! I wish I could do what you do.

  6. Check out my post today. I picked you! :) hehe