Day Four & Five

Well good morning campers! Yes, it's now day 5, what I lovingly refer to as my 'no rules' day. I live for this day. I don't use my FP's during the week and I don't use my AP's either. I take one day a week and eat what I want. I don't track. I don't exercise. I don't plan. Come what may. I just love the freedom this gives me. I know it doesn't work for everyone of course. If a craving hits me during the week, I have success telling myself I'll have it on my NRD. Rich and creamy mac and cheese? You bet. Anything goes on my NRD. That is today. Whoooopiiiieee!

Day Four dawned clear and lovely. My WW meeting is at 9am. Doors open at 8:30 so of course, we must arrive at 8:20. I go with a group of women from the park and we take turns driving. We knew it would be busy yesterday being the first meeting after the new year. Man were we right! Tons of newbies.

I was nervous but optimistic as I waited in line. After my disgusting performance in 2008, I did NOT want to begin 2009 with a gain. I didn't go back OP until Saturday. I'd planned Friday, but you know how that goes. I didn't care how much I lost as long as there was a - in front of whatever she wrote. I got up on the scale and watched her write. She wrote a - !!!! I was elated. I lost a bit more than .2 also! Yay me!!

You notice I didn't say what I lost. I've had a bit of problem around the homestead with sharing my weight loss. You see, some weeks it's a huge struggle for me to lose .2. I might eat totally OP, I might exercise each day and think I'm going to have a huge loss. I hop on the scale and that bitch says -.2 or sometimes a gain and I'm just gut punched. It's not fair. I work hard, I deserve results. By the time I get home, I've calmed down. I realize that any loss is a good loss and I did the best I could. I'm resigned. I have weeks where no matter what I do, the results just aren't going to be pretty. I'm thrilled to death that I stayed OP all week, that I exercised, that I did what I should. I have a huge sense of accomplishment that I have succeeded for another week. I mean do you even know how hard it is to know you're doing everything right on a certain week and know you'll probably stay the same or gain? It sucks. I get home and excitedly tell what I did and I get a very unimpressive 'oh'. Or even worse, 'that's too bad'. No, a loss is a loss. Period. I shouldn't have to quantify it. It's not going over well, my not sharing. I was told that I should, because if I don't, how do they know how big the reaction should be. Nooooooooo that's exactly the point. The reaction or congratulations to my hard work and my loss shouldn't be contingent on how much I lost. I lost. Plain and simple. So now I get nothing. I say 'oh I did good', and I don't even get a 'yay you'. I can live with that too. It's better than the alternative for sure! I will be my own cheering section.

YAY ME!!!!!!!!!!! I HAD A FREAKING LOSS THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!

So, Day Four tally:
Stay OP: Check
Track: Check
Exercise: Check

I'm on a roll.

I'm now off to enjoy my day of no rules. Starting with a pot of coffee and ending who knows where? I will promise you one thing. I will be back tomorrow with Day Six and 3 checks for sure!